565. Be Happy in an Unhappy World

How do you find peace and joy and happiness and thrive in a world that seems to be suffering and struggling and in a downward spiral? How do you be happy, and should you even be happy if everyone else in your family or your community seems to be really suffering and struggling, and one thing after another seems to be going wrong? Is it wrong to be happy when the people you love are unhappy? And if it’s not wrong, is it even possible? How do we do it?

That’s what we’re diving into today. I’m Jody Moore. I’m so glad that you’re here at the podcast Better Than Happy, where I’m going to help you live your best life. This is episode 565: Be Happy in an Unhappy World. Let’s go.

Hey there and welcome to Better Than Happy. My name is Jody Moore and my mission is to empower you to live the life you want today and create more of what you want for tomorrow. Buckle up because this is real talk, tough love, and insight into human behavior so that we can all be on to ourselves.

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Today, we are talking about happiness. We’re talking about your happiness. And I know this podcast is Better Than Happy, but that doesn’t mean that happiness is not an important part of your life. I’m here for helping you get it. It’s just not the only thing we’re seeking to achieve. But I want to talk about happiness today because I feel like so many people around me are struggling and unhappy and anxious. And maybe it’s just my age because I’m entering that phase of life where my hormones are changing, and I’m definitely probably in perimenopause, definitely probably, if not menopause, I don’t know. I’m not sure how you tell.

But a lot of my friends are also in that phase of life. We’re also in the phase of life where our children are starting to leave home, and that’s kind of unsettling. And everybody knows there’s a lot going on in the United States of America where I live. At any rate, I feel like there’s a lot of heaviness. And as I’m coaching clients in Better Than Happy The Lab, where we’re taking all this work and applying it to your life, I’m noticing some themes come up over and over again, which is this challenge of finding happiness. And so I want to help you with it today, my friend, because here’s what I want to tell you.

The world is a mess, right? Like I said, our country’s divided, people are angry, people are struggling financially, we have mental health problems unlike anything we’ve seen before, we have physical health problems unlike anything we’ve seen before, and things are hard. True? Yes, and also no. So I want to begin with just a quick reminder that yes, it’s true, there are certain things that are harder about being alive as a human being on planet Earth today than they’ve ever been. And we could spend a long time talking about those things, but I know everybody’s already talking about those things. But there are also many parts of being alive as a human being on planet Earth that mean that it is better and easier to find joy and succeed and be happier than it’s ever been before.

And there are the results to prove it even. I’m not going to go through all the negative because everybody’s talking about the negative. I did just a quick Google search to prepare for this episode, and here are some of the positives I found. Life expectancy has gone up. Back in 1950, life expectancy was about 46 years old. Today it’s about 71-plus years, right? That’s a gain of 25 years of life in just a couple generations. In addition, extreme poverty has collapsed. Back in the year 2000, there were around 2.2 billion people living in extreme poverty. That number has been reduced by more than 50% in just two decades.

Food, nutrition, and basic needs are dramatically better. In other words, the global food supply per person has increased by over 24% since the mid-1900s. Undernourished and developing countries have dropped from 37% to about 17%. And the share of people lacking enough calories went from about 56% to under 10% in the 20th century. In addition to that, education and literacy have surged. So the global literacy rate rose from about 52% in the 1950s to over 80% by the late 20th century. We are more educated than ever.

The child mortality rate has dropped massively. Child deaths have declined in every region of the world. In developed countries, people report higher incomes, greater life satisfaction, and lower homicide rates, meaning we have safer societies in general. Happiness, of course, is a complex thing, tough to define, tough to measure, but it is definitely not collapsing. Global happiness has rebounded as of today, 2026, back to pre-pandemic highs, and many countries are consistently ranking very high due to stability, trust, and social support.

Now, to be clear, this is very nuanced, right? Mental health struggles have risen in some groups but have declined in others, especially young people. And there’s definitely inequality and regional differences that still exist, and progress is not evenly distributed. So I want to acknowledge all the complexities that go with it. But my whole point here is that the world is harder and more difficult in some cases than it’s ever been and in some ways, and it’s also easier and more amazing in some cases and in some ways than it’s ever been and easier than it’s ever been.

So this means it’s us, right? If I’m really struggling and unhappy, it is not because of what’s going on in the world. It is because of what’s going on inside my own world. And that is always the case, whether the world’s gotten better or worse. I just wanted to start with a little bit of framing, okay? And again, the last thing I want to do is diminish somebody’s lived experience. That is not what I’m saying. I’m also not trying to gaslight you into believing something that is just not true because I made it up and want you to feel better. That is not the kind of coaching I’m into doing.

I am not suggesting that any of us would want to bury our heads in the sand and not pay attention to what’s going what’s going on in the world. And I’m not even saying that you should be happier or more positive or feel better. If you don’t want to feel better, if you want to be angry or upset or worried or anxious, that is completely valid, my friend. There is an appropriate time and place for that, and you can just hit stop or pause on this episode and move right along. You may not be ready for this.

If somebody sent you this episode because they are worried about you and they thought this might help you and you don’t want to feel better, you can just hit pause and thank them politely and move right along. But if you’re curious about how to be a person who has a huge heart and is compassionate and empathetic and cares about the world or your family or anybody suffering, or you feel like you’re tremendously suffering or struggling and you’re sick of it and you want to be happier and you have this suspicion that you thriving and being happy and confident might help the people around you, then this is for you.

Today, I’m going to help you become empowered. You have to decide at some point, if you want to feel better and create more of what you want, to become empowered. You have to access your own strength, your own gifts, your own ability to create what you want. Nobody will ever create what you want in your life for you better than you will. And when we’re disempowered, we just don’t do it. We can’t do it. We’re not doing it consistently enough or long enough or well enough to create what we want. Empowerment is necessary.

You’re going to become more aware of the options that you have. So many of us are walking around in different circumstances, unaware that there’s any other option. And today I’m going to open your eyes a little bit, so get ready. I’m going to help you intentionally choose the experience you want to have, whether it’s positive or negative feeling for you, whether it’s moving you forward or keeping you stuck is okay. I just want you to choose it intentionally. And finally, I’m going to teach you how to have power over your emotional life and your day-to-day experience regardless of what’s going on outside of you. All right? And we’re going to do it with seven points I want to make. Let’s just get right to it, shall we?

Number one, negativity is easy. Positivity takes work. Negativity means thinking negative, having fear-based thoughts, having judgments, having opinions that sound like just opinions but are actually resistance of reality or judgmental, and feeling negative emotion, feeling anxious, afraid, worried, upset, sad, angry, ashamed, guilty, confused. All of these things are easy. Here’s what I mean by easy. Your brain will offer them to you automatically. You don’t have to try. You don’t have to tell it to go there to a negative place. It will do it automatically without you trying. So if you want to feel bad, and I know that sounds crazy because who would want to feel bad, but actually sometimes it’s totally appropriate to feel bad. If you’re okay with feeling bad and having negative thoughts, do nothing. Just let your brain operate and it’ll hook you up.

If you want to feel positive, if you want to be optimistic, if you want to be hopeful, if you want to be happy, you want to be excited, you want to be optimistic, if you want to feel positive and you want to think positive and you want to have lots of hope and joy in your life, it will require at least some work, if not a lot of work. And the reason why is because the brain just veers towards negativity automatically. It’s a protective mechanism, okay? Positivity will also sometimes happen on default, but not nearly enough. If you want more positivity, you have to be intentional about it. You have to work at it. And this is true for everybody until it becomes more habitual, and for some people it is more habitual to be positive, but you can become one of those people even if you’re not.

And the reason I point this out to you is because whenever I’m coaching somebody and they want to feel better or show up better in their lives or create something, then they always say to me, “Well, that just sounds hard.” Right? As we dive into what are you going to need to believe and what actions are you going to need to take and what is this work we’re going to have to do? They’ll say, “That sounds hard.” And I say, “It is harder in some ways than just staying in negativity because it requires effort.” But it also feels a lot better and gets you progress. And so in that way, it’s actually easier in some ways, right? But I just want to begin with that. And then the rest of what we’re going to talk about today is the work that’s required. So if you find yourself going, okay, I understand it requires work, but what is that work even Jody? That’s what we’re going to dive into next.

Number two, your mind is meant to look for what you already believe is true. That is your mind’s job, to look out for proof that what you think is true is true. So I want to give you a scenario. I want you to imagine that your friend says to you, have you noticed that all the moms at school pickup seem to be really anxious these days? And you go to school pickup, and what’s going to happen? All of a sudden you’re going to start noticing, oh, I notice now actually the conversations happening as we wait for the kids to get out do kind of sound like anxious people talking. Or I’m noticing in their body language that people seem kind of anxious, or that guy in the pickup line, or that mom in the pickup line or dad in the pickup line just honked at the car in front of them. I didn’t realize it before, but people do seem pretty anxious. And then you feel like, wow, have I just been naive and blind to all this? I didn’t realize this was going on around me.

The answer is no, you haven’t been naive and blind. Your brain just hadn’t decided maybe that was true and so it wasn’t looking out for evidence that it’s true. But it’s just as true that all the moms in the pickup line are doing great, right? Because we use terms like all to simplify our communication, but it’s never all. There’s always some of everything and people are dynamic and how they feel changes. And so it’s both true and not true. Your brain is just looking out for proof that what you already believe is true is true, and it will probably find it because there will be proof of it, because thoughts are true. I always say this when I’m coaching clients and they’ll go, why do you think you’re choosing that thought? And they’ll say, because it’s true. And I’ll say, well, it feels true to you because you’ve been thinking it and believing it and so you’ve been gathering evidence for it. And guess what? It is true, and it’s also not true, right? There’s also a whole counter argument to that is also true that we could find evidence for if we wanted to.

So this is just an important thing to keep in mind because if your mind and your brain are looking out for proof of what you already think is true, then you need to pay attention to what your brain is looking for, what you are focusing on. What are you inviting into your world? What are you looking for proof of? What are you going to experience more of? It’s based on what you already believe is true. So choose it intentionally, which I’m going to tell you more about how to do with some of these other points I want to make. Let’s go on to number three.

Not only is your mind looking out for what’s true, but the world is feeding you what you’re looking for. This is both an amazing and frightening thing about the world we live in today, right? The world has gotten better and better at catering and personalizing our day-to-day experience to fit what we’re looking for. We all talk about this and kind of joke about it and get scared about it when it comes to our phones. We say things like, “Wow, I was just having a conversation with my husband about how I think we need to get new tires on the car and suddenly I’m getting these ads pop up in my feed for tires. How scary,” we’ll say, right? Like our phones are listening. And it’s true. Your phone is listening. Well, I don’t know what’s true exactly as far as the data, but I’m sure your phone is listening. Certainly your behaviors online are being monitored and you are being fed what the computer or companies etc. think that you want.

Now, I always stop and go, is that such a bad thing? If I want new tires, don’t I want to know who’s offering tires and get a good deal on tires? Just saying. But anyway, I get the concern, I get the privacy and everything that people want to protect. But my point is the world has gotten better and better at just feeding us what we’re already looking for. So if I have a frightening story that I believe, a story that gives me anxiety or scares me or upsets me, then my brain is going to be looking out for it first of all, and then the world is going to keep feeding it.

The news channel that you watch is probably the one that reinforces your current political views. The websites that you go to, the people that you follow on social media, the stuff that gets fed to you through the internet or your phone or the TV or wherever else you go, is designed to give you what you want, what you believe, and what you’re looking for. And this just continues to reinforce in our minds that we’re simply observing what’s true when what we’re observing is what we believe is true, proof that what we believe is true is valid.

Good thing to keep in mind, right? So you don’t lose sight of reality versus the lens by which we view reality. Okay, now this leads me into point number four, which is that our thoughts create our feelings. If you haven’t heard me talk about that before, I will expand on it just a little bit, but some of you have heard me. It’s just a really important point right here. Your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings have momentum. So let’s break those two things down.

Thoughts create feelings. Things outside of you do not create your feelings. They are incapable of creating your feelings. If somebody’s talking really badly about you and saying how they can’t stand you or criticizing you or judging you, you might think that makes you feel bad. It doesn’t. Here’s how I know. If you didn’t know they were saying those things about you, you wouldn’t just suddenly go, why am I feeling bad right now? Maybe somebody’s talking bad about me, right? You feel bad when you learn about it and then you have thoughts. You give it meaning. Your thoughts and the meaning you give to that person saying whatever they’re saying about you is what makes you feel bad. And it’s okay that you feel bad in that scenario. It’s just important to know that your thinking is what creates it.

I don’t know how this could be more obvious than the world we’re living in today, right? We have some people that have really strong opinions about a certain political figure or something that happens in the world, and then we have so many people, just as many people who have the opposite feeling and opposite opinion about the exact same circumstance, because thoughts create feelings, circumstances don’t. And then the second part, which I want to expand on is those feelings have momentum. This is very important to keep in mind because what I mean by this is just like if I’m on a hill and I release the parking brake on my car and I put it in neutral and I’m at the top of the hill, my car is going to slowly start rolling down the hill. And if somebody’s there or I’m there and I notice it right at the top of the hill and it has just a little bit of momentum, then I can probably stop that car.

But if I’m not in the car or nobody’s there and the car starts rolling down the hill, it gets somehow put in neutral. There’s no parking brake and it just rolls and rolls and rolls and it gets going and going and going, it gets to the bottom of that hill. You better just get out of the way. You better not jump in front of that car and try to stop it. Why? Because it has so much momentum, it’s going to be much more difficult to stop. And this is how your emotions are as well. So I don’t expect you or I wouldn’t even want you to become a robot who doesn’t have emotions and doesn’t allow for negativity at times and doesn’t have lots of positivity at times. I want you to have all of it.

But the more of a roller coaster of emotions you’re living on, the more exhausted you’re going to feel because first of all, you’re going to feel like you have whiplash from going back and forth, but second of all, it’s going to be very hard to redirect yourself when you want to if you choose to. So mostly we see this happen with negative emotions, but it can happen with positive too. I’ll give you an example in a minute. Let’s talk about the negative ones though first. If you have a little bit of negativity, maybe you wake up with anxiety like I do. don’t know if it’s hormonal or just the age of life I’m in or just being a human, I don’t know. But I will wake up sometimes in the night or sometimes first thing in the morning and I’ll just have a little bit of anxiety, a little bit of nervousness, a little bit of fear, right? That’s okay. It’s like a car kind of starting to roll down the hill, but I can interrupt it. I can interrupt it with gratitude, with prayer, with music, with connecting with somebody in my family that I love, with listening to something positive and uplifting on a podcast or a YouTube channel or what have you. There’s lots of ways I can interrupt it. Not a big deal, right?

But if I don’t do that intentionally or if I don’t manage my mind and I just let the thoughts keep coming about whatever it is that’s on my mind that’s creating negativity or anxiety, that’s going to get stronger and stronger. And a lot of people actually go to things that fuel the negativity. They turn on the news, they get onto social media or something first thing in the morning and start doom scrolling. And before you know it, it feels out of control. It’s much harder to redirect your emotions once they’ve gotten really out of control.

Like I said, this happens sometimes with positive emotions and you might be thinking like, when would we want to interrupt and change positive emotions? Well, have you ever been in a scenario where you were supposed to be serious or quiet and you got the giggles and you couldn’t stop laughing and you were just kind of delighted or tickled by something and it was not an appropriate moment for that? The more you tell yourself to stop, what happens? The more you want to laugh, the more out of control you feel. This is because positive emotions also have momentum and resisting them intensifies them. Just like telling yourself not to laugh often will make you laugh harder, telling yourself not to cry will often make you cry harder, or telling yourself not to feel bad will make you feel worse. So emotions have momentum. And this is a very important thing to keep in mind.

Let’s go to number five. Point number five, happy people are delusional. Yes, they are. People who are happy, you might be thinking this, right? If you’re a real cynic or you’re really struggling or you’re really worried about the world and you see somebody who’s happy and thriving and you might think they’re delusional, they’re not paying attention, they’re not educated or not informed, they’re burying their head in the sand or they just don’t care. And it’s not true that they don’t care. It may or may not be true that they’re educated or uneducated or burying their head in the sand, but what is true is they are delusional. Yes, they are. I will give you that. They are believing a delusion, which is a made up story.

But guess who else is delusional? All the unhappy people, also delusional, also believing a made up story. Remember what we said earlier about thoughts? They’re both true and not true. So the happy person is believing thoughts that are not true, but those thoughts are also true. And the delusional person is believing thoughts that are not true but are also true. We could make a valid case for either side. So what kind of delusion do you want to pick? Pick the delusion that serves you best. Now, it doesn’t have to be a complete delusion. Somebody who’s happy, and I’m using the word happy but you can substitute successful, rich, powerful, kind, compassionate, confident, whatever it is that you want to feel and experience, find somebody or look out for people who seem to be experiencing this part of their lives in that way and ask yourself what they’re thinking and believing.

And you don’t have to believe the exact same thoughts they do, but you might find some that you borrow, okay? If no part of you believes it, I don’t recommend sitting in the mirror chanting it and trying to believe it. I just don’t think it’s necessary. I don’t think that will hurt, I just don’t think it’s necessary. I think you can easily find thoughts and stories that you already do at least partially believe and focus on those.

I want to give an example of this that came up for me just today. I was watching a girl on YouTube who’s an influencer who teaches sales. She’s this cute, young, vibrant girl who appears to be very successful, has made a lot of money and teaches others how to do the same thing. And I haven’t watched this girl before or learned from her, and so I was just checking her out, learning from what she has to say, always up for learning more. And before you know it, my feed starts giving me more videos from this girl, right? On YouTube.

And eventually one pops up that is another girl or another woman critiquing the original girl. So let’s call the original sales girl Julia. I’m not going to give real names because I don’t want to throw anybody under the bus here, but we’ll call the original sales girl Julia, and then we’ll call the girl who critiqued her Martha, okay? And so Martha’s pulling up Julia’s video and she’s pointing out some things that she likes and believes about what she’s saying, but she’s also pointing out some of her shortcomings and where she may not be being fully honest or things that she doesn’t care for about her approach, okay?

And so I’m watching these two women, and I both agree and disagree with both of them, right? There are certain things that Julia says that I think, yeah, that’s that’s a good tip or that’s smart or I agree with that. And then there are other things I’m like, no, not that so much. And again, same with Martha. She points out things about Julia that I’m like, actually, that’s a valid point. Yeah, I don’t really like that part either or I disagree with that. And then some of the things she says about Julia, I’m like, no, sweetie, I disagree with you on that one, right? So they’re both right and they’re both delusional, as am I in my assessment and judgment of these women, right and wrong. So how do we know in the end, do we listen to Julia or do we listen to Martha?

Well, I like to look at their results. Now, you get to decide what results matter to you, right? If I’m watching these two women because I want to learn how to sell, if that’s my main objective is helping my business, then I’m going to choose the thoughts of the one who’s selling the most, the one who’s having the most success in her business. It doesn’t mean I abandon my values. It doesn’t mean I have to even take everything she says, but I prefer the delusion of the one who’s successful. But success is not just about succeeding in your business, right?

Also, these two women, one appears to be, and again, this is online, so I will acknowledge that we don’t know the whole story with either of them, but one of them appears to be happy and living a life that she enjoys. And the other one appears to be a little disgruntled and a little bitter and a little bit unhappy with the world in general. So how do I want to experience the world right now? I need to consider that when I decide which delusion I’m going to adapt, which one’s thoughts I’m going to take from. If there’s a situation where they have conflicting thoughts and I can see the validity in both, choose the one that creates the result you want. This is why the scripture say, “By their fruits, ye shall know them,” by their results, by the way they’re living their life, by their relationships, by the kind of people that they are. Follow and take thoughts and beliefs and stories from the people who are like how you want to be, right? How they feel, how they show up, what they’ve created. That’s how you choose your delusion.

Okay, point number five. There is meant to be opposition in all things. Opposition in all things or balance in the universe or contrast or the 50/50 is the way our world is meant to be, right? It’s not something gone wrong, it’s the ideal. It is the way our lives are meant to go. So the reason I point this out is because we tend to resist, and I’m seeing this happen more and more with many of my clients and people around me in general, is this resistance of the negative. And resistance of the negative will never serve you. It just won’t.

Resistance inside of you, that’s what I mean by resistance, a rejection of it, a judgment of it, an anger about it. And when I say resistance inside of you, I’m talking about the things that are outside of your control. What things are outside of your control? Anything that happened in the past is outside of your control. You don’t have a time machine, you can’t go back and change it. So resistance of it within you, meaning a focus on how that shouldn’t have happened, what went wrong, whose fault is this, guilt, shame, any of that, or blame, any of that is not going to serve you because you don’t have a time machine, right? You cannot change the past.

Sometimes resistance just looks like being on the freeway, running late for wherever you’re supposed to go, and you’re stuck in traffic. That traffic’s not moving and you can’t get off the freeway, you can’t find an alternate route, and you’re just probably going to be late. Then resistance of that looks like worry, stress, feeling bad, beating yourself up that you didn’t leave earlier, ruminating about everything that could go wrong. Resistance inside of you will never create success outside of you, success by your own definition, peace and any other result that you want to have.

So when we recognize there’s meant to be opposition in all things, there’s meant to be things that go really well the way we wanted, and there’s meant to be things that don’t go well. There’s meant to be good and bad, light and dark. I’m meant to be very good at some things and terrible at other things. I’m meant to sometimes really succeed and other times fail. That is the way of it. So when you embrace all of that, guess what happens? You access the personal power and strength and ability to move on from the failure or the setback.

You still show up 15 minutes late because the traffic made you late, but you show up with calm and confidence instead of showing up distracted and ashamed. An embracing of the 50/50 internally doesn’t mean you don’t go do anything externally to try to improve upon it. It doesn’t mean you don’t go apologize or try to make right whatever you think you did wrong. It doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for a cause that you believe in and try to contribute to making the world a better place. But you can do that from acceptance.

Acceptance doesn’t look like giving up. Acceptance is not weak. Acceptance is extremely powerful. It’s, okay, I guess this is what we’re dealing with. So now what? Yes and, that’s acceptance. And that gives you a lot of power, a lot of calm, a lot of rational thinking, and a lot of showing up as your best self to contribute to what happens next. The seventh and final point I want to make is a very tangible, practical strategy that you can execute, which is to flood your mind with positivity.

Listen, the world is flooding your mind with negativity. Maybe the people around you are flooding you with negativity. Certainly your social media feed might be doing it. The news is 100% doing it. It’s just rampant because that’s what we click on. That’s what we listen to, that’s what we pay attention to. And remember, it’s feeding us more of what we think we want, what we’re looking for. So you have to counter that by flooding your mind with positivity. Maybe this is why we’re taught to read our scriptures every day, because you flood your mind with positivity. I like to flood my mind with self-help or other types of learning that are interesting to me. Maybe you like entertainment or novels or movies or books, but again, be careful about what kinds of stories you’re reading because often the kinds of stories that are most interesting to us have a lot of negativity and things that evoke anxiety or worry or sadness, etc. So just make sure you’re putting into your mind what is going to serve you.

Entertainment can be a great way to flood your mind with positivity. Art, follow influencers who inspire you. And this doesn’t just mean influencers that are positive, you might have some influencers you follow who are saying positive things, but as you listen to them, then you have a bunch of thoughts and you feel bad about yourself. Don’t follow that person. Follow the people that inspire you that make it easy for you to think what you want to think and then feel how you want to feel in your mind.

Follow people who are giving solutions, who are talking optimistically, still realistically, right? But optimistically about what’s possible, what’s coming, what our country is going through, what the world is going through, what’s coming in the future. Be intentional about who you listen to. Learn from smart, educated, again, successful in the way you want to be successful people, people who share your values, at least some or most of them, people whose lives you respect, people whose actions you admire, people who live in an emotional state that you want to live from. That is how you flood your mind with positivity.

And if you start flooding your mind with it, don’t worry, your brain will still offer you the negativity when it thinks it’s necessary and in even more so, right? But you will start to counter that a little bit. And you can absolutely be happy. And guess what, my friend, you deserve to. It’s not wrong to. In fact, what the world needs, what your family needs, what the people around you need is more positivity. So are you bringing positivity or are you bringing more anxiety? Are you bringing more criticism? Are you bringing more hate, more worry? Bring positivity. That’s what we need.

Thanks for joining me today, everybody. I’ll see you next time on another episode. Take care.

Hey everybody, thanks for listening today. Please do me a favor and make sure you’re following or subscribed to the show if you got a lot out of this and share it with a friend. Make sure you never miss an episode and help me spread the message of mental and emotional health and creating your best life. I’ll see you next time.