Now that I’ve put a few blog posts out there in the world I feel myself compelled to confess a few things to anyone who might be reading. IF anyone is reading, besides my mom that is. I try to be very genuine in every post I write and to allow myself to be vulnerable and yet offer tools that have helped me and might help someone else as well. But I have a few things I just need to get off my chest. Thank you for indulging me on this one.
1. I’m not always good at practicing what I preach
If you are in a profession where you give advice you might relate to this and if you’ve met me even briefly then this is not news to you but I must put it out there that I am NOT a happy, chipper, laid-back, get-it-done, patient all the time, mother-of-the year type of person.
There’s something about giving out advice to people that implies that the topic is something you are totally good at, have conquered or never struggled with in the first place. Let me assure you nothing could be further from the truth. I have made some “what in the world were you THINKING,” kinds of poor choices in my life. I’ve made mistake after mistake and suffered the consequences too. At one point in my life I lost full membership in my church and at the same time lost the respect of the people I love most. Some of my mistakes led me to the tools I write about on this blog but the truth is I am still making mistakes. Every day.
2. Every time I hit the “publish” button I feel total fear
Putting yourself out there on the big bad internet for anyone to read is scary. It’s scary because…well…anyone could read it. This means my most intimate thoughts will be judged by anyone who stumbles across my post and they might find out that I’m not all that great, confirming what I have suspected all along.
Or worse…nobody will read it at all. It could be so boring and off base that it doesn’t catch anyone’s attention confirming another shameful thought I have regularly. “I mean, who do you think you are anyway?”
But I continue to do it because I believe so strongly in the work I’m doing. I know these tools work and I believe everyone is entitled to love themselves, own their circumstances and do the things that make them feel alive. Sometimes we just need help figuring out how. If something I put out there helps someone do any of those things, it’s worth the risk of getting my ego crushed.
3. I never wanted to be an entrepreneur
I know people who have this desire to own their own business who are driven and motivated and excited about making it work. I, on the other hand, always believed what my Grandpa Lyman used to say which is, “If ever you are thinking about starting your own business just take two aspirin and go to bed.”
Furthermore after being laid-off from my corporate job of 14-years, I found myself at home with the kids full time just two years ago. I still have not made a conscious decision to “go back to work” but I am prayerfully following the path that feels right to me and it’s taking me down this entrepreneurial road I never suspected I’d be on. Even more surprising to me is how much I am loving the journey.
4. I think about you a lot. I mean… really. A lot.
Through this journey I’ve become very focused on helping women who, like myself, love their families and would go to the moon and back for their kids but feel a lot of frustration, fear and shame. I notice things now that I never used to and I watch out for tools that could be helpful to every one of us.
I believe whole-heartedly that helping moms to function at their best is the place where I can make the biggest impact on the world as a whole. Kids are so tremendously influenced by their upbringing and if we want to create an emotionally stronger generation behind us, we must be emotionally stronger for them right now.
I LOVE the women in this world who are willing to raise children. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Being a mom is the most wonderful, amazing, beautiful job there is and it’s also the most horrible job I’ve ever had. There is no training, no feedback, no opportunities for advancement, no sick days, no lunch break and no pay-check. Most of the women I work with want to be with their kids and they know they are very blessed to have children so they don’t want to complain, but the truth is it’s a very tough job.
So…I must confess that I constantly think about how to make your job better. How to give you work/life balance. How to help you create the things that are important to making a job rewarding and fun. I think about you when I go to bed at night and when I wake up in the morning and so if you’re ever feeling alone…just know I’m probably thinking of you in that very moment.
So there you have it. I’m a hot mess. Now you know. If you’re still willing to keep reading I promise to bring everything I’ve got every time. I hope you have a fantastic Labor Day weekend! I’ll sign off by quoting Jimmy Fallon:
“Thank you, Labor Day weekend. You’re just like Memorial Day weekend except people seem really sick of their kids.”
Love your guts…
Jody
