507. Deciding with Confidence: A Coaching Session

Welcome to Better Than Happy, where we dive deep into the way our minds work and how we can make decisions that truly serve us. Today, you’re going to listen in on a real coaching session. We did this a few weeks ago and everybody loved it so we’re doing it again. 

Today we’re hearing from a woman facing a deeply personal dilemma. When is the right time to have another baby? She is torn, caught between the desire to grow her family and the fear of what that might mean for her future, for her business, for her energy, and for her identity.

Now here’s the thing, this isn’t just about having another baby. This session is about how we make decisions. How often do we let fear and scarcity run the show? And what happens when we learn to shift into confidence and trust and how do we do that? 

And here’s why you’re gonna want to listen all the way to the end because after the session, I’m breaking it all down for you. I’ll explain why I asked certain questions, the shifts I was guiding her toward, and how you can apply these insights to your own life. So if you’ve ever struggled to make a decision with confidence, this episode is for you. This is episode 507, Deciding with Confidence: A Coaching Session. Let’s dive in.

Welcome to Better Than Happy, the podcast where we transform our lives by transforming ourselves. My name is Jody Moore. In the decade-plus I’ve been working with clients as a Master Certified Coach, I’ve helped tens of thousands of people to become empowered. And from empowered, the things that seemed hard become trivial, and the things that seemed impossible become available, and suddenly, a whole new world of desire and possibility open up to you. And what do you do with that?

Well, that’s the question… what will you do? Let’s find out.

Sometimes, listening to a podcast is enough. But sometimes, you’ll feel inspired to go deeper. If you hear things that speak to you in today’s episode, consider it your invitation to a complimentary coaching workshop.

On this live, interactive Zoom call with me, you’ll get a taste of the power of this work when applied in real life. You can participate, or be a silent observer. But you have to take a step if you want to truly see change in your life… two steps, actually. Head to JodyMoore.com/freecoaching and register. Then you just have to show up. Your best life is waiting for you. Will you show up for it? JodyMoore.com/freecoaching. I’ll see you there.

What’s up, everybody? How you doing out there in the world, wherever you might be? How’s your week? I am having the most 50:50 week ever. By that I mean, the highs are so high. I had my team in town. I have a small team of handful of people, but we brought them all to town. We spent a couple days together. We rented a big, beautiful beach house in Encinitas. And we got lots of work done and dove into our business, into just making everything even better for all of you. And we also had a lot of laughs and a lot of fun and ate a lot of good food.

And then we had a storytelling workshop. Oh my goodness, we should do that every month, shouldn’t we? We brought in Catherine Burns from The Moth and a couple of other beautiful, amazing guests that she brought with her. And Catherine taught us all about storytelling, about what makes for a good story. We’re going to give you a little bit of that down the road.

We’re going to bring in some of the people who came to the storytelling workshop and we’re going to tell you some things we learned and we’re going to share some stories with you. But that was just such a beautiful, transformative experience. I feel so filled up from it. So that’s all the positive 50. Oh, and we started Better Than Happy Coach Training today.

The best group of people in there. I know a lot of you wanted in there and we didn’t have room. And so I love you. It’s not that you’re not amazing. We’re gonna catch you next time, don’t worry. But gosh, I’m so excited to be working with these coaches and we had a great kickoff call today. So amazing things happening. 

The negative 50 is just that I’m kind of tired, kind of tapped out. So much fun, so much joy, so much goodness, but a lot of stimulus, right? A lot of new, a lot of like, even just they say when we have intense amount of joy and happiness like that, you sort of deplete your stores of, I don’t know, dopamine or whatever the chemical is, and then you feel depleted and your cells have to kind of regenerate.

So that’s why often after a big high, there kind of feels like a big low. And I wouldn’t say I’m feeling a big low, but I do feel a little tired. So anyway, that’s how my week’s going. Hope you’re having a great week.

We’re going to talk today about how to make confident decisions. And I’m going to play a coaching session for you because I’m going to be doing a lot more of that here on the podcast. I think me talking about it is not as powerful as you hearing me coach on it. So I’m going to play this coaching session. 

I want you to listen. I want you to pay attention to what’s going on. And then again, afterwards, I’m going to debrief it for you and tell you how to apply this to your own life, regardless of what the decision is. So without further ado, here we go. Here’s the coaching session.

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Jody Moore: All right, tell us what you want coaching on today.

Client: So I feel like I have a lot of things that I’d love to get coached on, but the one that’s probably the most on my mind is my husband and I kind of got to the point recently where we’re on board for having a fourth kid or at least trying to. And I want to like be all in and be excited about it and like trying to work through some fears and concerns. 

I, during COVID, kind of like picked up a new career and, you know, kind of just getting started with that. And I, you know, it will be like a disruption, which I know I can choose to think differently about that. I kind of wanted to like, I don’t know, just work on like how I want to feel about it or if I should maybe wait a little bit longer.

Jody Moore: So let’s start out with how you’re currently feeling about it. Tell me about the fear. Where’s that coming from?

Client: So probably just fear about like the sleep deprivation. I know it’ll probably just be like the first three or four months or so, and then it’ll be manageable. So just some nervousness about that.

Jody Moore: Okay. So, you know, the model that we use here?

Client: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Yeah. Okay. So, in this circumstance line, what we have is kind of tricky because we don’t even have a fact yet, really. I mean, we have like this idea that you and your husband have of having a fourth child, but we don’t have like the baby yet. We don’t have like a night of sleeplessness or anything like that.

This is all like future stuff, which only exists in our brains, right? So in the circumstance line, we’re just going to put this idea, right, of having a baby. And so your thoughts are what are creating the fear and concern, right? The thoughts that your brain is offering you. Now, your brain has really good reason for all those thoughts.

You’ve had three babies before, so you have some idea what to expect, right? And your brain especially memorizes things that are really challenging in an attempt to try to prevent you from being challenged again in the future, right? 

So your brain is just like, “Don’t forget, you’re going to be sleep deprived and that was pretty terrible and it might be even worse because now we have this job.” Like, that is your brain just doing its job to try to steer you away from danger. But there is no real danger right now. I just want you to notice.

It’s not wrong to feel it. I just think it’s so fascinating. Like the fear and concern that you’re feeling right now, there’s zero reason for it. Like there’s nothing even happened that’s challenging, right? It’s just kind of fascinating. So you could just say, “I don’t want to have a fourth baby because I don’t want to be tired and whatever else, right? I don’t want to be sleep-deprived. I don’t want to deal with whatever other challenges you’re worried about.” Why haven’t you chosen that route?

Client: I’ve tried to. The desire is there like deep down like I have plenty of fears and concerns that I can let try to overwhelm the desire, but I know it’s there.

Jody Moore: Okay, tell me about that part. Tell me about the part of you that does want to have a baby. Because your brain is like, don’t forget, it’s really exhausting and you don’t get enough sleep and they cry and whatever else your brain is telling you. I want you to answer your brain was like yes, those parts are challenging and also brain don’t forget about these parts.

Client: I mean, I guess I think more in like the long term, like I enjoy having these adorable little kiddos running around. There’s also like the negative side of all that. But anytime I think in the long term, my mind is focused on, you know, I want to have this family and I want to have these relationships and I want the kids to have all these siblings.

Jody Moore: Okay, so that’s the part. I don’t want you to like ignore or forget the part that there are challenges to having a baby. I just want you to spend equal time in your mind thinking about, and also though, there will be another member of our family, another person to love, and the kids will have another sibling, and there will be like, even the sleep deprivation part doesn’t even last that long. Like, I just want you to not ignore and push it away. Just give equal time in your brain to both. Yes, it will be challenging. And also, it will be amazing if we choose to have another baby.

Client: And I think that’s how I got to the place of like, okay, no, let’s actually do this is, you know, listening to coaching and your podcast and everything helped me realize like, okay, at least spend as much time on the positive as you do on the negative. And so I’m more kind of the career thing that’s like, as far as timing, I’m like, okay, so should we like wait a little bit longer so I can get a little further along first? And not that you can control the timing completely.

Jody Moore: Do you want to wait a little bit longer?

Client: Like yes and no. I won’t be further along with work, but I don’t know. I think I get nervous that if we wait too long, then maybe we’ll change our minds or like my husband will change his mind or something like that or you know everyone will be a little bit older and so maybe it would be that much more nice for them to have another now while they’re still a little bit younger.

Jody Moore: Okay, so notice your brain is, again, it’s looking for a lot of negative. Like, if we do it now, it might be challenging because of what’s going on in the career. Or is it going to slow down your progression? Or what, tell me what the worry is there.

Client: I got licensed to be a stylist this past year. And so right now, like I’m just starting to, you know, build up like a clientele and get trained and certified in the different areas and specialize in different areas. And so I know I’d be able to work while I’m pregnant, but I’m sure after then I’ll want some good three months or something to, or maybe not that long, if it was just like one day a week.

Jody Moore: Okay.

Client: So far in the future, it’s like, I don’t even want to have to plan that.

Jody Moore: Right. But what I want to just show you is that your brain is like, oh no, it might slow down our progress to have a baby now. And so notice it’s looking again for negatives. Or if we wait, it might create problems in the family in these other ways. What I want you to do is again, approach everything from abundance and positivity.

Like either way, it’s going to be 50:50, but it’s going to be amazing either way. If you choose to have a baby now, there’s going to be all these benefits, some of which we could take a guess at, some of which we don’t even have any idea, right? And if we choose to wait, there’s going to be tons of benefits. I don’t want you to make decisions from what will be the least disastrous. It’s just such a limiting, scarce way to live.

I want you to make decisions from either way. It would be amazing and there will be challenges, but I’m perfectly capable of figuring out challenges. Because the problem is we can’t figure out, we can’t wrap our heads around how to solve the challenges right now because they don’t even exist.

So it’s like you’re trying to play a game, but we don’t even know the rules or how you score points. And so our brains are like, how are we going to win that game? But we can’t possibly know until we get to the game. And then we can go, okay, this is the challenge. Like maybe you’ll have a baby that sleeps like a dream.

Maybe you’ll like, who knows? But there will be challenges. I’m not saying there won’t be challenges. I’m just saying when your brain’s like, but don’t forget about this. And what about your clients? And what about the thing you’re trying to do with your career? And you answer it with, listen, either way, it’s going to be amazing. We have a baby now. We wait a while. We don’t have another baby.

Either way, we’re going to have a happy life and I’m going to figure out how to solve for the challenges that come along.” So it’s like the work we’re doing this month would be the boss of your brain.

Your brain will talk to you like that. You just don’t want to make the decision from fear and concern and overwhelm and like, oh no, what will be the least disastrous? How about like, either way it’s gonna be great and either way there’s gonna be challenge. So that’s why I ask you, what do you want to do? If either way was gonna turn out great, What would you want to do?

Client: I’d probably pick to have the baby sooner. I’ll try to have the baby sooner rather than later.

Jody Moore: Okay. That’s the best way to make the decision. Like either way, brain, is going to be fine. It’s going to be amazing and it’s going to be challenging. Now, what do I want to do? I think I want to have the baby now. All right, let’s go then. And then when your brain starts saying, but, but, but, you’re like, we’ll figure it out when we get there. I’m perfectly capable of handling and problem solving and critical thinking. There are solutions, but I don’t know what they are right now. I can’t know until I even know what the actual problems and challenges are.

Client: One of the things that I get nervous about is, because right now I do, I am working for someone, and so I do tend to go a little to that place of like, well, how am I going to explain myself to them? Like, oh, I should just be confident. Like, this is my plan. Like, you don’t need to understand it. I understand it. But that does creep in a little bit too. How am I going to explain or what am I going to say that’s going to explain why I’m doing this in the middle of this start.

Jody Moore: What if you were to just tell them the truth?

Client: Being that that’s just what I really want or that I’m gonna make it work?

Client: Yeah, I mean, that’s the truth is like I really want to have another baby and it seems like the worst timing in the world but I also feel like I should do it now and I don’t know how I’m gonna figure it all out with my career but I do love this career and I am gonna figure it all out and I don’t know how and I’m kind of scared actually, I’m kind of nervous about how I’m gonna figure it out. But it seems like the right thing to do. I mean, like, however you say it and how much you tell them, but that’s the honest truth, right?

Client: Yeah. 

Jody Moore: What if you just told the truth?

Client: The person that I work for, they don’t want to have kids. So like, in my head, I’m like, oh, they’re not gonna understand at all, but. 

Jody Moore: What if they don’t? 

Client: It’s okay, because I understand and it’s for me, it’s not for them.

Jody Moore: Yeah, and I think right now, because you’re uncertain of it, then their uncertainty feels heavier to you.

Client: Yeah.

Jody Moore: But that’s why I’m just saying, give yourself permission to be unsure about it. But it’s not your job to manage what they think. Plus, you may be surprised, like even people who don’t want to have kids still are often very understanding people. Right? Like doesn’t make her not compassionate and understanding. Just saying. 

So just listen, this is exactly the work I’m teaching you guys this month. Be the boss of your brain. Okay? Don’t make decisions from fear and concern and anxiety. Get to peace by, I just remind myself, listen, no matter what we choose, we’re going to have a great life. 

If I was going to be happy and figure it all out and feel fulfilled and do the things I wanna do, and my kids are gonna be fine and the family’s gonna be fine and everybody’s gonna be happy, and then half of the time we’re gonna have challenges and problems and we’re gonna figure that out too, then what do I just want to do? And that’s how you know what the right answer is. 

Then you manage your brain around that when it’s like, but what about this? And what about that? And what are we going to tell our boss? Like, you know what? We’ll figure all that out. It’s fine. Thanks for your concern, brain. Thanks for trying to warn me of the danger ahead. It’s not that dangerous. It’s just gonna be a little inconvenient, but I’ll figure it out. And don’t forget about all the amazing parts of having a baby. Don’t forget that we’re gonna have a little person in our family to love and like spend equal time watching that channel.

Client: Yeah, I really like that analogy.

Jody Moore: Yeah, don’t watch the one where you’re exhausted so much. Like we’ve already seen that show. Let’s watch another one. Where like your other kids help with the baby and the baby sleeps really well and you feel rested and you figure it all out. There’s that show. All right?

Client: Okay. Thank you.

Jody Moore: All right. You got this. Take care.

Client: Bye.

Jody Moore: All right. Bye. 

—

Okay. What did you think? Can you relate to this woman and how she’s feeling? I want to walk you through a little bit why I coached her the way I did, not so that you can start coaching people against their will. Please don’t do that. This is for you to coach yourself, for you to understand what’s going on in your own mind, okay?

So, first thing I want to point out here, this woman begins by talking to us about fear, right? Her fear of what might happen if she has another baby with her business, with her sleep, etc. And we know that because she’s talking about the future. She’s talking about things which I point out to her, right? Like nothing has actually gone wrong. We don’t have a baby here right now keeping us up all night or preventing us from working on growing our career as a stylist. We’re just imagining that that could happen.

So fear is always about the future. I should say mostly about the future. If I’m hiking in the woods and a bear is chasing me, I’m feeling fear about something going on in the present, but it’s fear that I would want to feel. It’s very useful. It’s going to give me a surge of adrenaline or help me hyper focus or give me my best chance at survival. So occasionally fear is about the present, but it’s always like a really welcomed and useful type of fear that we all need actually to function at our best.

This type of fear is an imagined future scenario that her brain doesn’t know the difference. None of our brains know the difference between this is happening right now, there’s a bear chasing me, or this thing might happen a year from now if I choose to have a baby. 

So that’s just good to know, fears about the future, because the future hasn’t happened yet, and we’re not as good at predicting the future as we tend to think that we are. Have you noticed this? The things that we think are going to be hard about any future decision we make or change often aren’t issues at all, but there are a whole bunch of other things that are hard that we didn’t even anticipate. So just good to know.

Okay, second thing I wanna point out. She’s very aware, right? She’s one of my clients, she’s been in my program, she’s listened to me for a while, she’s very aware. Okay, I know this is my thoughts, I know I’m making myself afraid or uncertain or whatever, I just wanna make a confident decision. And this is often what people bring to me is like, give me a thought, how do I think about this in a clear way?

And I always start where I did with this woman, when I said, go ahead and tell me what you’re currently thinking. What are you currently thinking and feeling? This is so important, you guys, I can’t emphasize this enough. You have to become aware of what you’re currently thinking and feeling in order to really truly make a long-term change. Okay? A really deep, sustainable change that will not only impact you today as you make this decision, but will impact your future decisions, will be the kind of change that serves you that you can bring with you in all different areas of your life.

You have to spend some time in really deep awareness of what you’re currently thinking and believing and the reality that this current story is creating for you. The reality that it’s nothing really in the outside world creating your fear or uncertainty. It’s the stories, the scenes that you’re watching, the thoughts that you’re having in your mind that are creating that reality.

Most of us, especially if you’ve been listening to me for a while or you’re in my programs, we know that intellectually. We know that logically, but we don’t know it emotionally on a deep, maybe what would even call subconscious level. Because if we did, it would be really easy to just let go of. We would see this is just a story, these are just thoughts, and we would just let them go.

So notice that when she starts telling me about her fear that she’s going to be sleep deprived, the next thing I say to her is, it’s okay that you’re thinking that. It’s totally valid that you’re thinking that. I point out to her that it’s about the future, right? But that it’s totally valid. She’s had kids before. She knows what it’s like. Her brain has memorized how hard it was to feel sleep deprived when she had babies. So this is so important, you guys. I really want everyone to consider being should-free. Okay?

I want you to be should-free. Just like some people might be gluten-free in your life. They’re the exception, right? There’s more people going gluten-free today than before, but still, they’re the minority, these people who are gluten-free. Why are they doing it? Because it’s better for their physical health than to keep eating gluten, but they have to be the ones that everybody’s like, what? You’re gluten-free? Oh, shoot. That’s going to be, I’m going to have to figure that out. I don’t know what to make for you because most of us eat gluten, right?

You’re gonna go should-free, okay? Everybody else around you is gonna be shoulding themselves and each other all day long. They have many ideas about how the world should be, how other people should be and how they should be better or different than they are. Including when people get introduced to what I’m teaching you here on this podcast.

We start learning, oh, my thinking, my stories, what I’m believing, what I’m watching in my mind is creating my current experience. And then they go, I know I shouldn’t think that. I should be thinking about this differently. I should be making a decision out of abundance. And I’m like, no, no, no, no, no. That’s not what we’re doing here. There’s nothing that you should be doing. You have a valid reason.

So I spent a little time with her to explain to her why this is totally valid, but also not “real.” You see what I mean? It’s valid, but it’s still just something happening in your head and it’s not even creating an ideal outcome. But that still doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be thinking it.

The reason this is so important is because if you don’t make it safe for yourself to be thinking what you’re thinking and feeling how you’re feeling and having the current reality that you’re having, it will be so hard to gain a deeper awareness and understanding of it. And that will prevent you from truly changing it, truly releasing it. You might be able to temporarily overwrite it with some more positive thoughts, but I want you to truly evolve and truly change. This is what I’m always trying to help people do in coaching. So we spend a lot of time here.

Okay, now notice when she talks about her fears and everything, the next thing I say to her is, you know, you could just not have another baby. And I’m not telling her that she shouldn’t have another baby. I hope that’s clear when you listen to this. I never tell my clients you should have a baby or you shouldn’t have a baby. I don’t know if they should. I don’t know what my clients should or shouldn’t do, okay? 

The reason I’m asking that question is because I want to see what comes up for her. If she was to have responded in a way that was like, do you think it would be okay if I don’t? Because I feel like I should have another one. All my friends have four. My husband really wants another one, but I really don’t want to. If the idea that she really doesn’t have to have another baby to have a complete full life would have set her free and brought her some relief and some peace, we would have explored that, but it didn’t. 

What came up for her was resistance and just pure desire, really, right? She said, but I have the desire. I really want another baby. I love so much when she used that word desire and she can’t even exactly articulate why. She had some ideas about her other kids and growing her family and everything, but I think these kinds of desires that we can’t explain, that don’t always make logical sense, right? 

Like she’s on a roll with her business right now and she’s loving the work she’s doing as a stylist and this is going to interrupt in some ways that, right? And the fact that she desires it anyway, I just think it’s kind of cool. There’s a book by Dan Sullivan called Wanting What You Want. It’s an audio, at least I listened to it on audio version. I don’t know if you can get a hard copy of it, but it was an audio I listened to. 

And he just talks about how powerful it is to just want what you want and to not have any reason why, not have to justify it to anyone, not have to explain or have a reason, but just to want it and to get better at understanding what you just want just because you want it. And so this may be one of those kinds of things for this woman. That’s the sense I got.

We didn’t explore her reasons at length because I didn’t think we need to, and I didn’t want to make her feel like she needs to justify it. It’s enough to me to see that she just wants it. And when I offered her that she could just not have a baby, that would be fine, it brings up this desire for her. 

What’s interesting too though, is that I feel like she’s kind of aware and what I’m trying to point out to her anyway, is that either way, it’s going to be amazing and it’s going to be hard. And this is really the main thing I hope that you’ll get out of this coaching session, is that our brains tend to want to fixate on the hard parts and trying to avoid hard or discomfort or negative emotion as much as possible, right? 

If I have a baby now and then I have the, you know, whatever comes with that, that will be hard for these reasons. If I don’t have a baby, if I wait longer, then we might change our mind and then I may not have a baby, then I may regret it or whatever, right? May happen down the road. 

Notice she’s exploring two possible negatives and trying to find the least negative of the two negatives. The way I’m coaching her is to get her brain out of fear and scarcity and negativity into abundance and positivity. So I’m offering to her to think about all the positives that would come from having a new baby. 

Now, here’s the truth. We don’t know. We don’t know what this new baby will be like. There will be things that we didn’t anticipate that will be joyful probably and things we didn’t anticipate that will be challenging, but that’s okay. It doesn’t matter. We’re not trying to guess exactly what’s going to happen in the future. 

We’re just trying to make decisions from abundance and peace and faith and trust and joy. And so thinking about what could go wrong puts us into scarcity and fear. Thinking about what could go right puts us into abundance and trust and love. And that’s why I’m trying to offer to her to consider that.

Now, if we needed to, if she was like, I kind of don’t want to have a baby, but I’m just afraid that I might be missing out on something if I don’t have another child, or maybe I’m not able to have another baby or whatever. If she was kind of headed that direction, I would have coached her that way around not having a baby. I would have had her think about how full and amazing and complete her life can be. And I would have pointed out to her that regret is not just something that happens to us. It’s a choice. You can decide right now not to regret a decision, even if it’s really hard.

If you know how to manage your mind and you choose your stories and you choose your beliefs, you don’t ever have to have regret. You really don’t, especially not about like a premeditated situation like this, right, where you made a decision.

I talked to her at one point about how she’s trying to play a game in the future, but she doesn’t know the game or she doesn’t know the rules, right? This is what fear and scarcity does. It drives us crazy. The other analogy I always use is you’re trying to solve a 500-piece puzzle, but you only have 18 random pieces and you don’t even have the box cover. So we don’t even know what the puzzle looks like.

Now, this woman has had children before, so maybe she has 32 pieces. She has some idea of what this puzzle looks like. But I promise she’s never had this baby at this time in her life with this family and this career and like she’s never done this thing, so she’s still missing most of the pieces.

Will it be challenging? Probably, but we don’t know how. We don’t know which pieces we don’t have and what puzzle we’re even trying to put together. Now the brain hates that. The brain hates the unknown, right? And this is why her brain continues to try to talk her out of it because the unknown is so scary to our brains. 

Brains are like, why would we do something different? What we’re doing right now is working great. It’s keeping us alive just fine. Why do we want to mix it up and add another baby? Okay, so we have to be delicate with ourselves. This is a natural, healthy part of the brain.

I love what Elizabeth Gilbert says about fear. I can’t remember where I heard her say this. I think on a podcast somewhere or something. She talked about fear just being a normal part of the journey, right? When you’re creating something. You’re writing a book, you’re creating art, you’re growing a business, you’re going to have a baby, you’re creating a bigger family. Like these are all creations. 

And fear, she says, is coming along for the ride. Like you’re going on a road trip and everybody wants to not be afraid, but fear’s coming. It’s not optional. Fear is one of the passengers, but you don’t want fear driving the car. Don’t let fear drive. Most people let fear drive. And they’re like, oh no, that sounds scary. I think that means we shouldn’t go on this road trip.

So she says, don’t let fear drive. Don’t even let it pick the music and the snacks. Make fear get in the back seat. And you want to drive with abundance and trust and confidence and faith that you’ll be able to figure things out. But fear is still going to be there. And fear doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go on this road trip. Okay?

The other thing is, if we do decide not to, which can be okay too, all right? But you just have to know there’s discomfort either way. Because a lot of times we decide not to do the thing because we’re too scared, and then we just have the discomfort of that desire that keeps knocking. 

Unanswered desires, your desires about what you want to try, what you want to contribute, who you want to be, what you want to do with your life, those unanswered desires are painful and uncomfortable. But going after them is also painful and uncomfortable, right? It’s a different kind of pain and discomfort, I think. I think it’s the kind of pain and discomfort where we’re moving somewhere versus the pain and discomfort of stagnation. But it’s painful and uncomfortable either way. So just keep that in mind that you’re not, unfortunately, going to escape it either way.

And then last thing I want to point out, and this is again where her brain is simply like, why are we doing something different? We should keep doing what we’re doing. So it offers to her in the middle of this coaching session, this argument, well, hold on, what are we going to say to other people? Other people aren’t going to understand it. Like your boss who doesn’t want to have kids is going to think that you’re crazy, right? 

So you notice how we worked through that. But this is one of my favorite, favorite things to do when it comes to other people is to just tell the whole truth, right? I said, what if you just told her the whole truth? And notice she was like, not even sure what that was until I told it back to her. Now, I didn’t make that up. I repeated back to her what she had just told me, but I condensed it into a couple of sentences that were really messy and kind of contradictory of one another and didn’t even make sense, right?

It was like, well, I really want to do this, but I’m not sure how, but I know I’ll figure it out, but I’m feeling kind of insecure. She might’ve even added, I’m kind of afraid you’re going to judge me and I hope you don’t, but this is what I’m doing. And even if this woman didn’t understand it, my client here could feel comfortable and confident knowing that she told the truth, that she’s being real and genuine. 

That’s always going to feel better to us than trying to pretend in order to manipulate someone else’s opinion. Because pretending is dangerous because we have to keep up the facade. But telling the truth is real and we don’t have to worry about getting caught or getting found out.

All right. There you have it, my friends. Thanks to my beautiful client who got coached. This call is from years ago, right after the pandemic. You can kind of tell. But I thought it was so relevant and powerful. I hope it helped you out today. I’ll see you next week for another episode. Bye-bye.

Oh wow, look at that. You made it to the end. Your time and attention is valuable, and I don’t take it lightly that you made it this far. In fact, it tells me you might be like me; insatiably curious about people and life and potential and connection. Maybe you have big dreams but a small budget and no time. You’re tired, but bored. You’re content, but dissatisfied. Sound familiar? Come to a free coaching call and see for yourself what’s possible: JodyMoore.com/freecoaching to register. That’s JodyMoore.com/freecoaching.