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Let’s face it. Most of us are approval addicts. When other people adore us we give ourselves permission to believe we are worthy of adoration. This is only a problem when someone doesn’t adore us or is mad at us. Today I want to give you some tools and knowledge about why this is a challenge and what to do to find some relief from that tricky part of your brain that wants to tell you that this is a huge problem.
Thank you so much for this podcast. My in-laws do not understand me as a person and choose to take offense to a lot of the things about me. I eat differently than them, parent differently than them, I’m quieter than them and in general- we just don’t have much in common. They have been openly angry about some of the things about me (which I have felt are unjust- I have never done anything to intentionally hurt them) and it has been very hard to know how to manage this. My relationship with them is actually what turned me to really working on learning how to change my thinking and life coach myself. I was letting my thinking about how I feel they perceive me to run my life and of course enter my relationship with husband, which in turn added to some resentment I feel towards them (for entering into my marriage). So many of your podcasts have helped tremendously, but this one in particular has really resonated and hopefully will add to slowly being able to let go of these feelings and feel at peace.
My husband and I were seeing a therapist for a short time to try to make this situation better and she was very focused on forcing a relationship between me and my in-laws. I love your ideas and the life coach view of things so much more than a traditional therapist’s views, at least related to this type of situation. It’s more about LOVE and acceptance than forcing something that’s just not working and allowing a lack of boundaries by doing this.
Thank you for all your podcasts and all that you do!
Molly – This is challenging work but doable and so worth it! Thanks for listening and sharing your experience.
Hi Jodie, my very responsible honor student oldest daughter will be starting college in the fall. She is very social but so far has made mostly great decisions socially at her public school. Today we just found out that she has chosen to live in the coed dorm at school this fall. I am very conservative and went to a small college that did not even have coed dorms, so I am uncomfortable with this decision. She doesn’t see what the big deal is. Early in our marriage my standards were very high but my husband and kids have caused me to loosen my standards a lot. I now tolerate mild swearing, my kids at public school, sometimes I don’t like what my husband lets them watch on tv, but he says it’s fine so I leave the room. This feels like one more standard that I have to lower. If they don’t have respect for any of my standards then what do I have to offer? I should just keep my opinions to myself and turn a blind eye to whatever I don’t like? Help!
Words cannot describe how thankful I am for this podcast today.
Really needed it!!