267. When You Didn’t Get Invited

I’m Jody Moore and this is Better Than Happy episode 267: When You Didn’t Get Invited.

Welcome to Better Than Happy. I’m your host, Jody Moore. I’m a mother to four children. I’m a huge Taylor Swift fan, and I’m a Master Certified Life Coach. I’m here to teach you how to manage your brain and manage your emotions so that you can create a life that’s even better than happy. Are you ready? Let’s go.

Hello friends, welcome to episode 267. Next week I’m going to be offering a free class, virtually, and it’s called Stress Level Zero. A free class for moms who were just hanging on until the kids went back to school. You know what I’m talking about; you thought they were going to back. You wished and hoped they were going to go back. And they’re not really going back; they’re going to be at home. And now you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed because you still have the kids there and you have to figure out how to manage their virtual learning experience.

First of all I also want to give a big shout out to all teachers and administrators. I love you. Thank you for what you’re doing. I know you just got handed a situation that is not easy. And you’ve got a lot of people with a lot of opinions coming at you, telling you you’re doing it wrong and you’re trying to learn technology and you prefer not to have to do this either. So I just want you to know that I feel your pain. And I appreciate you and I think you’re doing a magnificent job. I have zero criticism. I think whatever decision you make is the right one and I am behind you no matter what.

But for all the parents or teachers who are feeling stressed about the school year you must come to my free webinar, because I’m going to teach you how to get to stress level zero. And it’s happening next Friday at the 4^th, September 4^th, and there will be a replay.

So get registered at jodymoore.com/stress, and you’ll get the Zoom link and everything, and you’ll also get the replay. But try to come live, because first of all, live is where the magic happens, it’s where I’m going to take your questions and your exact specific scenarios. But it’s also where you’re going to get a special bonus offer, so don’t miss it.

Alright, we’re going to talk about when you didn’t get invited. Remember as a kid when this was a thing, first of all. I’m not sure how old we are when we start realizing that we want to be invited. I’m sure it’s obviously different for different kids. But I don’t really remember it till maybe second or third grade, that feeling of she brought birthday party invitations to school and all the girls got one, but not me, I didn’t get invited. And then as we get older it’s not getting asked to the high school dance, or to somebody’s party, or what have you.

I was not a cool kid. I mean I was fine. I had friends, awesome nice friends in high school and even when I was younger. But I wasn’t one of the cool kids. I didn’t get invited to all the cool stuff. And that’s painful for kids. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for kids today with social media. I didn’t have any of that to deal with as a kid. And so now it’s even more in your face than ever.

But here’s the thing, especially if you’re a young person listening, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but it doesn’t end as an adult. It’s not like you get older and then suddenly you stop caring about whether or not you get invited. And in fact for some people, some women especially that I’ve coached, and I’m sure some men, but I work more with women, it’s still just as dramatic, and just as painful, and just as hurtful when you don’t get invited.

It’s just that things you’re not getting invited to are a little bit different. Instead of not getting invited to somebody’s party, or the school dance, now you’re not getting invited to the play date with all the other moms and kids in the neighborhood. You’re not getting invited to that vacation that those other families went on together, or those couples all got together and planned, and they didn’t invite you. You’re not getting invited to the girls’ night out that a bunch of women in your ward have planned etc.

So there are several things I want to teach you today and I want to provide you some tools to help you find a little bit of peace around this topic. So I recently coached the sweetest girl in Be Bold on this topic. If you’re in Be Bold and you missed that coaching session, you must go listen to it, it’s so good. She was just so vulnerable, and brave, and she represented so well, I know, all of you who might be struggling with this. I think it was one of the July coaching calls towards the end of July, so go into Be Bold, the call replays and just check the notes and you’ll find it there.

But here’s what I want to teach you, if you feel hurt when you don’t get invited to something there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not that you’re immature in some way. It’s not that you shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s not that you just haven’t developed enough confidence or you’re in some way insecure, and you shouldn’t be. None of that’s true. And you’re not alone.

Again, I have coached many women on this, but I think there’s a lot more people that struggle with this than what I even know, because I don’t think people talk about it that much. I think it’s one of those things that we sort of keep to ourselves because we’re not quite sure what to say about it, it’s awkward. And we tend to want to judge ourselves and think I shouldn’t care about this, because we know some things logically.

But I want to help us dive into it a little bit deeper today and help you really feel how you want to feel, not just pretend, not just hide it. So first of all, it’s human nature to want to belong, that is a basic natural human thing, it’s how Heavenly Father created us. We want to feel like we belong to a group of individuals or people who appreciate us, and who we have some things in common with, and who see us and hear us, and who we sort of all help look out for and take care of one another. Maybe it’s a family, maybe it’s a community of people. Maybe it’s some kind of group or organization.

We all crave that to a certain extent, some people have a much higher need for connection than others. But we all – all healthy human beings I should say are wired for connection. In fact I recently heard Brené Brown, who I’m sure many of you know, she is a shame researcher and I’ve heard her give various definitions of shame. And recently I heard her give one that said, “Shame is the fear of not being connected with other human beings.”

It’s a fear of not belonging. And that fear based in this idea that something’s wrong with us. That if I’m broken, or damaged, or not good enough in some way then I’m not going to belong, I’m not going to be able to connect with other people. So it’s natural. Now, that said what I want to offer you today is that I don’t think it needs to impact you as dramatically, and as emotionally, and as significantly as it does for some of you.

So I like to think of areas like this in my life where I recognize, this is coming from a basic human healthy part of me that I don’t want to change. But I don’t want to feel like I’m on a rollercoaster. I don’t think that’s necessary. I don’t think that’s just human and natural, to feel these huge highs and these huge lows. Instead I think it should just be some light rolling hills.

So I still feel a little bit of negativity when I don’t get invited and a little bit of positivity when I do. But it’s just little rolling hills, and it’s okay, I can totally tolerate that, I can manage that kind of emotion easily, and I can still be the person that I want to be at that level of emotion. When I’m on this rollercoaster of drama then I get weird and creepy, and it’s hard and I have to pretend, and it’s a totally different story. So we’re going for rolling hills instead of the rollercoaster of emotions. But we all, again, want to feel wanted, needed, connected, this is healthy.

Now, next thing I want to teach you. Other people not inviting you somewhere does not hurt you, it doesn’t. A bunch of women going on a play date and you finding out about it is not painful. That is all happening outside of you. What hurts you is what you make that mean. Now, you’re making it mean something on probably an unconscious level that you’re not fully aware of.

And that’s what I want to bring to your attention today, because the more aware you become of the thoughts in your brain, of what you’re making it mean when someone doesn’t invite you. The more authority you have over it, the more you can settle down the rollercoaster and get onto just the rolling hills with me.

So what are we making it mean? Well, first of all if we really dig deep enough, if we really go to the root of it, we’re making it mean that there might be something wrong with us, it’s shame, like Brené Brown says.

Now, that is at the root of almost every problem that any of us have. I really do believe that’s true, which is why coming up next month in Be Bold we’re going to be working on your relationship with yourself. Because that is the work that we get the most bang for our buck on, if you increase and improve, I should say, your relationship with yourself, then every other area of your life gets easier. But it’s also sometimes challenging work to do, it’s important.

I want you to be doing it in some way. But it can be sometimes hard to get progress, because I don’t know how many times we can all tell each other, “No, you are valuable, you’re amazing, and whole, and complete, there’s nothing wrong with you.” We all kind of know that, and yet believing it is another game, a whole another story.

So instead of trying to go there and dig all the way down to the root, we’re going to stay a little bit more on the surface with this one. We’re going to look at the surface level thoughts you might call them, because sometimes I find when I’m coaching my clients or myself, it’s easier actually to get some traction at that level.

So what did you make it mean that those women went on a play date and you didn’t? They didn’t call you, they didn’t call you up and say, “Hey, do you want to join us,” or text you, you didn’t get the invite. The answer to that question is the reason that you’re feeling whatever you’re feeling. And there are two ways I find useful to discover the answer to that question, so let’s take a closer look.

The first way is through your thoughts. So a lot of times, you guys know, when I’m coaching you I ask you, “What were you thinking? What are you making it mean?” Are you making it mean something about yourself, something like maybe I’m just not that fun, maybe I’m not cool enough, maybe my clothes aren’t cute enough, maybe I’m not good enough in some way? Are you making it mean something negative, and judgmental, and painful about yourself?

Now, tell yourself the truth because a lot of times we want to be quick to go, “Well, I know that’s silly, it’s probably not that.” But we all have some silly ridiculous thoughts in there, let’s take a look at them, what are you believing? Are you maybe making it mean something about them? Are you moving into judgment of them? They just aren’t that nice. It’s not very nice to plan something and not invited everyone. They don’t like me, which again comes back to you, but also a thought about them and whether or not they enjoy your company.

Do you start thinking thoughts like I would never do that, I would never exclude someone? I certainly wouldn’t post it on social media like they did, I always invite people. They should do the same thing. So now we’re moving into judgment of them, which here’s the fascinating thing. Remember, the pain of this is coming from the fear of disconnection from others. But we start judging them which disconnects us from them. I’m not like them. They should be more like me. And we disconnect ourselves from them. Isn’t that so fascinating?

Maybe you’re making it mean something about your life. Your life is just not going how it’s supposed to. You’re missing out on something that you’re supposed to not miss out on. There is this fun experience and if you don’t get to be there then your life isn’t going to be as fun, something isn’t right. There’s some place, or event, or group of people that would be better than where you’re at and you’re missing out on it. Is that what you’re making it mean?

So all of those things are thoughts, none of them actually make any sense when we hold them in our hands. This is what we do in coaching, you guys, I’m always like, “Let’s take that thought and let’s hold it in our hands and let’s explore it, let’s go deeper on it, let’s question it, let’s play with it.” Do you know what we always find with these thoughts that are causing us pain? They don’t make any sense at all. We don’t even really believe them in the end when we do that work.

So you’ve got to take the thought, you’ve got to hold it in your hand. You’ve got to examine it, question it. Ask yourself, what if I’m wrong about that, what if that’s not true at all? I love this one, our heads go to like, “That looks like so much fun, if I was there I would be having fun and then my life would be better.” But maybe that’s not true at all.

Maybe you wouldn’t be having any more fun than you’re having at home, because your own brain creates your fun, not your circumstances, not your environment, not the people outside of you. And you’re capable of creating that fun no matter where you are, no matter who you’re with. So we just sort of question them a little bit.

Now, sometimes it’s challenging to know the answer to that question, what am I making it mean. And if you find it challenging, then rather than start with the thoughts you can start with the feelings. You can ask yourself, “Okay, well, what am I feeling?” Now, again, a lot of times with this particular one, people want to say to me, “I feel hurt.”

Well, hurt is, I don’t think, our most useful descriptive feeling word, because we’re just simply saying, “I feel something that doesn’t feel good.” But if we can get a little deeper like why are you hurting, what is the emotion that hurts? Don’t just say, “I feel bad.” What is the bad feeling that you’re feeling? Because that will tip us off a little bit as to what the thoughts are that are creating it. So for example, if you say “I feel shame.” Then we know that’s coming from judgment of yourself, thoughts that something’s wrong with you, that you’re not good enough in some way.

If you feel resentment it’s coming from judgment of them, that they should be different than they are. They should have invited you. They should have remembered. They should have been more considerate or kind. And also probably some thoughts like I would have, and therefore they should as well. We get into trouble all the time when we think other people should be like us.

Are you feeling some self-pity? Self-pity is one of the most toxic emotions that we create for ourselves. And I think that we feel like it’s justified, we feel like it’s compassion in some way. But it’s not, because it leaves you so powerless. It leaves you like this poor little wounded bird on the side of the road. You know what happens to the wounded bird? Someone else put it out of its misery. You’re not a wounded bird. Self-pity is coming from thoughts like poor me. I never get to have any fun. My life is so hard, this always happens to me, thoughts like that.

Are you feeling some blame? This is their fault, again, this is indicative that my thoughts are about them, and judgmental of them and I’m still disconnecting from myself.

How about scarcity? Scarcity comes again in that kind of fear of missing out area. That thing happened and I missed it, and there’s not going to be anything fun ever again. Your thoughts are probably not that dramatic, but we do tend to go to scarcity of enjoyment, scarcity of fun, scarcity of events, scarcity of relationships, and friendships, and connection. Is it a little bit of fear maybe, fear that something’s gone wrong in your life?

So see how identifying the emotion in a little bit more specific terminology than just hurt or bad, helps tips us off as to what are the types of thoughts that usually would generate that type of emotion that maybe I’m thinking. And then we can go in and find some of the thoughts. So we want to find some thoughts.

Now, the next thing I like you to do is to separate out the facts from your thinking, because as you explored thoughts, maybe you wrote down some facts. But many of the thoughts you’re thinking, you may think are facts.

So this is one of the first things that I teach my clients, this is relevant to any topic that I’m coaching on at all, we always separate out the facts from your thoughts, because we want to look for the thoughts that you think are facts but they really aren’t. And a lot of people, they understand this concept, they catch on right away, they say, “Yes, I understand that. Yes, I can see that’s a fact and that’s a thought.”

But then they tend to want to kind of skip over it, they want to be sort of general, like the fact is, there’s six women. And then my fact is there’s six women and they went on a hike. And there’s a picture on Instagram. So we want to get specific with the facts, but we want to make sure that they’re very, very factual. In other words, everyone would agree and we could prove them in some provable way. And they’re always going to be without drama or emotion when we have facts.

So that’s how you kind of know, do I have some really good facts and then do I have thoughts that are all the other drama around it? So if my fact is there’s a group of women who went on a hike and there’s a picture on Instagram with a caption ‘a beautiful time with these beautiful ladies’. Let’s just imagine that’s what happened.

Now, what some of you like to do here is you want to put things in the fact category that didn’t happen, like these women went on a hike and they didn’t invite me. Now, technically we could say that’s a fact. But I never let my clients put things that didn’t happen in the fact category. Do you know why? Because it’s not relevant without the thought that they should have.

I was just coaching somebody and we were talking about not putting things that didn’t happen in the fact category, yesterday. And here’s the example I gave. I wouldn’t put down the fact is, Sarah Jessica Parker has never called me and invited me to go shopping with her, because that is not a relevant fact unless I have the thought that she should. I kind of thinks she should. So I wouldn’t put that in the C line. I would put just my thought that I wish she would or I think she should.

So the only fact is a group of women went on a hike, maybe the picture on social media with the caption ‘a beautiful time with these beautiful ladies’. That’s the fact, that’s it. Now, everything else happening in my head is thoughts and drama. If my thought is I wish they would have invited me, I don’t know why they didn’t invite me, maybe I’m not cool enough etc, that’s what’s creating the pain. Those women going on a hike and that picture on social media is not causing me any pain, it just is a thing that happened in the world.

Do you see why it’s so powerful to separate out the facts from the thoughts? Because when you look at the facts you realize there’s nothing hurtful about that at all. I’m creating all the hurt with my own brain. One of the problems with this is that when our brains go through this type of drama about this scenario we begin focusing on us, we have to. And when I’m focused on me to that extent, that is the toughest thought work and emotion work that I will ever do, it’s the most dramatic, it’s the most emotional.

And if it’s unconscious thinking, which it is for most people in this case, then it’s usually not going to serve me. I do want to pay attention to my thoughts about me. I do work on my thoughts and emotions about myself, but that’s work I’m trying to do consciously. I’m trying to consciously choose how I think about me.

If I just let the brain run wild unconsciously, and the focus is on me, in many cases that does not serve me. Because the brain, remember, always thinks that we’re in danger, it thinks that it has to protect us. We have to do that work, we can’t run out into the battlefield without any armor on or the brain knows we’re going to die. So it’s trying to armor up is what’s happening. And when we do this in this scenario, here’s what’s not available to us because we can’t go out in the battlefield.

So what’s not available to us is curiosity, compassion, love, connection, empathy, understanding, we can’t access any of those. And those emotions are us at our best. That’s when we feel the best, when we’re being that person, not when we’re being the person full of shame, resentment, self-pity, blame, scarcity and fear. That’s when we’re at our most childlike, I want to say.

So here is the truth, a bunch of women going out on a hike has nothing to do with you. Did you hear me? A bunch of women getting together on a play date or whatever it is has nothing to do with you. Let’s play it out. Let’s begin with what your brain thinks is worst case scenario, because it’s possible. It’s possible that these women talked and they said, “Should we invite her?” Somebody said, “Let’s not invite her, I can’t stand her, she’s boring, she’s not fun, she’s not cool.” That’s what your brain thinks is worst case scenario.

Or maybe they said it in a more subtle way like, “I’m just not sure I’m up for her, she’s kind of a lot.” Is that what you’re really afraid of? Alright, even if that’s true that doesn’t tell us anything about you. If they all agreed, “Yes, she’s very boring,” that doesn’t tell us that you’re boring. It tells us that someone has a thought that you’re boring. But are you boring? How do we know? Can we take you to the doctor and say, “Can we please get a boring test for this person? I’d like to see if she’s positive for boring or not.” We can’t. It’s not provable; it’s not a fact ever.

So what makes someone boring? There’s no such thing as boring people, there’s only your thought that someone is boring, that’s it. It’s not even a real thing. All of these things that you’re worried about in this scenario are relative terms. There’s no such thing as cool people, or fun people, or smart people. Those are all relative terms.

In other words, there’s no such thing, it’s just somebody’s brain because somebody will say “I think she’s super fun.” And someone else might say, “No, I think she’s obnoxious.” What’s true? They’re both true and they’re both not true, they’re both made up. So even if that worst case scenario that you’re afraid of happened, in other words, that conversation between some women and they said, “Let’s not invite her,” it still doesn’t tell us anything about you, it tells us something about their thinking, that’s it.

Now, the more likely scenario in most cases is that that didn’t happen at all. That they literally weren’t thinking about you, they didn’t consider you. You didn’t cross their brain as a possible option. They forgot about you, we might say. Now, you can make that mean all kinds of dramatic things, or you can just decide they didn’t think to invite me. It doesn’t matter why; it doesn’t mean anything about you. It means that you didn’t pop into their brain at that moment.

What else is more likely too than they just don’t like you? They probably assumed that you wouldn’t want to go or couldn’t go. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve coached somebody on this topic and after a while I say, “Did you want to go?” And they say, “No. I probably would have said no, because either I didn’t want to or I wouldn’t have been able to.” And it just cracks me up how we do this.

Okay, so we’re creating all of this nonsense and disconnecting ourself from these people and we really didn’t even want to or couldn’t have gone. So maybe they just took a guess that you wouldn’t want to or wouldn’t be able to. Maybe they had a limited number of people that they could invite or wanted to invite. This is okay, you know. It’s okay to decide I want to go to lunch and I don’t really feel like going to lunch with a group of 30 people. I feel like going to lunch with three people, because it is a totally different experience. It’s a different dynamic. It’s a different energy level.

Some people thrive off of being in big groups. Some people thrive off being in smaller groups. It doesn’t mean anything about you. It means something about those people. Maybe they don’t know you as well as they know the other people.

Do you know it requires a different level of energy from us to interact with someone we don’t know as well? We’re still kind of feeling things out, we’re still figuring out how to interact with them and who to be with them, and how we fit in with them. It is a different dynamic, a different energy level, and sometimes we don’t feel like hanging out with people we don’t know.

We feel like hanging out with people that we’ve hung out with a lot, where we don’t have to exercise that level of attention. Again, that means nothing about you. It also doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. It doesn’t mean they’re not nice, they’re not kind. It’s just human nature.

Another more likely scenario is they already had their social need met. Maybe they wanted to go somewhere with one friend and they invited that one friend and that was the only need that they were trying to fulfill socially was to have one friend go. They didn’t want to go with multiple friends. So again, you weren’t a factor in their mind, or with three friends or five friends or whatever.

So here is one of the things I also want to speak to because a lot of times the people I’m coaching on this tell me, “Well, I go out of my way to try to include people. I am really worried about leaving someone out or hurting someone’s feelings.” So if you’re thinking that, just be cautious, of course that can be coming from some compassion and empathy. So some of that we want to keep.

But the part where you think you’re responsible for other people’s emotions is where I get worried. Because if we think that other people are responsible for our emotions, or we think we’re responsible for theirs then it goes to say that we’re going to want them to be responsible for ours. So I find that that almost always comes back to bite you. If you’re going out of your way to try to include people and invite people and make sure no one gets their feelings hurt, then when other people don’t do that for you you’re going to feel resentful.

So if you’re spending too much time in other people’s models, trying to manage their emotions you’re setting yourself up for failure. Instead allow other people to be in charge of their own emotions, and if you decide you want to invite a whole bunch of people, because that’s who you want to be, I’m all for that. But not because you’re trying to control how they feel. Do you see the difference? And it is okay to get together with just a few friends, did you know this?

So let’s talk about some alternatives to all of this painful drama that we create for ourselves. Rather than go down the rabbit hole of shame, resentment, fear, anger etc, try on some of these stories instead. Try just being happy for them. When I see a group of friends that I love, I see a picture and they say, “We had a beautiful time together.” My first thought is I am so happy for them. I love seeing people that I love, happy. It doesn’t mean anything about me. Notice how I’m not bringing myself into the scenario at all.

I’m thinking yay for them, I hope they get a lot more experiences like that, they deserve it. Assume something kind, something kind to them and something kind to yourself. I always like to assume something kind.

One day last year my husband and I, we both work from home running our business together. And we decided to go and get some lunch one day in the middle of our day, it doesn’t happen very often that we’re able to do that. And we were able to this day, so we went over to a restaurant, a nice restaurant in our neighborhood.

And there was a couple of cars ahead of us that I recognized, from some friends of mine in the neighborhood and was like, “They’re going to the same place we are.” Sure enough they were and when they sat us at our table they sat us right next to a huge table of probably 25 women from my ward and neighborhood. And they were all there celebrating one woman’s birthday.

Now, they, I could tell were a little bit uncomfortable. And they were like, “Come and sit with us, just ditch your husband and come and join the girls. And actually, Jake you can come too, you’re like one of us.” And they were super kind but I think some of them felt a little bit uncomfortable, there I was. I hadn’t been invited to this birthday lunch.

But I don’t like feeling hurt, and resentful, and judgmental, and ashamed. I don’t enjoy those emotions, and I don’t think they’re necessary. So I always just assume something kind. I assumed that they didn’t think I would be able to go because it was a weekday and I’m often working on weekdays. And they might have been right, most of the time I’m not able to go to lunch on a weekday. So that’s much kinder to them, I assumed the best in them, and I assumed the best of myself.

I’m not going to assume that I’m not good enough and fun enough, no, of course, everyone wants to go to lunch with me. I’m going to assume that. But they just thought I was probably working, they thought that I couldn’t go. Assume something kind, you guys, it’s totally available to you.

Next alternative is to be the person that you want to be, not the person you think they want you to be. This is important work for many of you. If you’re all up in their business about why they didn’t invite you and you’re either judging them or you’re judging you, you’re going to try to alter yourself to make that right, and that’s going to be weird. It’s not going to be fun. It’s not going to be attractive and is not going to really work in the end. So just focus on being who you want to be.

You know who I want to be? I want to be the person that’s happy for other people’s happiness, because then I will always have a reason to be happy. If I just have to wait for my own good fortune to be happy, it’s not going to come around as often. So I want to learn to be happy for other people’s happiness.

And the last thing that I recommend you do instead of the drama is tell the truth. Tell the truth, you guys, if and when you choose to. If the truth is I want to go next time then tell the truth. If the truth is I heard you guys are going to something next week and I really want to go, but I’m kind of afraid to invite myself too because I don’t want to butt in. And maybe you don’t have room, and so it’s okay to say no too, but just so you know, I’d love to go. If that’s the truth, tell the truth. Don’t sit back and wait for people to think about you, stand up and do it yourself.

There’s a lot of people in this world, how are we supposed to notice and remember every single one of them? We can’t do it. That’s why we have programs in the church, to like, “Can everybody please try to keep an eye on each other because there’s a lot of people here and we’re going to lose track of them.” So if you want to go somewhere, just invite yourself, that’s what I do.

Sorry to all my friends but I find that telling the truth never leads me astray. And sometimes the truth is I’m afraid to say this, I’m afraid you’re going to think I’m nosy. I’m afraid that you maybe don’t want me to go. If necessary I’ll tell all of the truth. That is how we actually connect with people is through telling the truth. Did you know this?

I actually had this experience; it’s just coming to my mind now. There is a group of women who are friends, and I know all of them through different avenues and they happen to all know each other. And they go to lunch, I want to say, like every month, and it’s just three of them.

And I said, “You girls should let me join your lunch group because I am friends with all of you too, and I love all of you.” And they said, “No, you can’t join, it’s just us three, we’ve been doing it for years and we don’t let anyone join.” And I was like, “I love that you just told me the truth. I love that we’re not going to play games here and pretend, and that you don’t want anyone joining and you told me no.” I love them even more for that.

Tell the truth, stay out of other people’s models. Stay in your own model. Manage how you want to feel and who you want to be, that is where you will get leverage over this problem. Again, when I see a bunch of women having fun and I wasn’t there, I still am like, “I want a bit of fun.” But I’m not on a rollercoaster of emotion and you don’t have to be either. You can do this.

Alright you guys, I’ll see you next week. Have a great week. Take care. Bye bye.

Who is your life coach? If you don’t have one I would be so honored to be your coach. I created a virtual coaching program called Be Bold that I want to invite you to join me in. We can address challenges, we can work on goals, and we can do it in so many different ways.

We have group coaching, individual private coaching, and online chats along with hundreds of hours of courses and content that I’ve created just for you. When you’re ready to really take what you’re learning on the podcast to the 10x level, then come check out Be Bold at JodyMoore.com/membership.