566. Your Energy Is Creating Your Results

Hey, listen, sometimes hard things just happen. Sometimes, circumstances are outside of our control. Life is hard. Challenges are the way of it. True or false? This is what a lot of people will tell you. People who mean well, people who love you, people who are trying to help you feel better.

But today I want to tell you why I don’t think that’s a useful way to think about your life. It’s not how I think about my life at all. I made a conscious choice a decade ago to believe that most things are in my control, and how that has freed me up to create more of what I want. And I’m going to teach you how to do the same today.

Welcome to Better Than Happy. I’m your coach, Jody Moore. This is episode 566. Let’s go.

Welcome to Better Than Happy, the podcast where we apply all the tools of psychology, human behavior, and mindfulness to live our best lives, navigate challenges, and achieve our goals. I’m Jody Moore and I’ll be your coach today. Let’s do it.

Hey there, my friends. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for joining me, especially if you’re joining me on YouTube, where I am now filming real, live videos of my real face. This is not AI, this is real me. And we’re putting all of the podcast episodes onto YouTube. So if you like a video version or you just want to see what I’m wearing today, I wish I could say it was something more exciting, but anyway, I’m on YouTube now. Come and find me. I’m Better Than Happy. Make sure you subscribe if you’re there and make sure you’re following the podcast if you still like listening on your favorite audio app. We’re going to keep publishing there as well. 

Okay, full disclosure. I had a totally different episode all outlined that I was going to record for you today, but sometimes God just speaks to my heart or maybe what I ate for dinner landed different. And for whatever reason, I felt inspired to share this message with you instead.

It is something that I feel very strongly about and something that I just am going to go on a little bit of a rant about today. And I want to preface it by saying, I’m giving you this rant because I care about you, because I know what’s possible for you, and I am so tired of seeing people limit themselves. I get so frustrated when people don’t show up for themselves and don’t believe in themselves and don’t go after what they want. 

And I get it. It’s not to shame anyone. That is the last thing I’m going to be doing today. There’s not going to be any shaming. I’m not even going to be guilting implied here. So if you interpret it that way, please know that is not how I mean it. But I want to light a little bit of a fire under you, okay? Because I know what’s possible for you. And how do I know that when I’m talking to like a huge vast audience of people, how could I possibly know that when I haven’t even met most of you or spoken to most of you? I’ll tell you how I know. 

I know because what is in your heart that you desire is what’s possible for you. If it wasn’t possible, you wouldn’t desire it. There are so many things out there that people desire, a whole huge variety of things. Now, there might be some standardized things like most people want money, most people want love. I’m talking about the specifics of your dreams, the specifics of the desires of your heart.

What do you want to try? Who do you want to be? What would be the way that you would want to make more money or find love or what do you want to do with that money, etc. Okay? I’m talking about the specifics. Those are all different for all of us. And so if you have a desire, a dream, you have the capacity to achieve it.

So, why are you not achieving it? Now, I want to back up for a second and talk about even before the dream, before the desire. I’m talking about the basic things that you want that you might not consider a dream. They’re just sources of pain for you right now. Like maybe you want to have more income regularly so that you don’t worry about money so much. Maybe you want to have less contention in your family relationships. Maybe you want to feel more peaceful around certain family members or maybe you want to connect more with a spouse. And so I’m talking about even these basic things that feel like winning at life in a very realistic way. Okay? 

Whatever you desire, whether it’s getting out of suffering and pain or going kind of next level dream and goals, you have the capacity to achieve it. And if you are not achieving it or you’re not there yet, it is not because of your circumstances. It is not because you’ve had bad luck. It is not because your life is just harder than someone else’s.

How do we know this? Because we have example after example after example of people who were born into what we might call very privileged circumstances, right? With money, connections, of the majority racial class or sexual orientation class or whatever else in a majority class, right? Who are not achieving what they want to in their lives. In fact, who are very struggling. And we have many examples of people who come from what we would consider challenging, underprivileged, disadvantaged circumstances who achieve extraordinary things. And of course, we have examples of all of it in all categories, right? 

My point is, if it were because of circumstances and because of things outside of you, then we would see a more obvious connection between circumstances and results. And that is not the case. Even if the stats say on average, someone in this situation achieves at a higher level, there’s still many, many exceptions. Right? An average is not a rule, it’s just data. It’s just a study. So, you have the capacity regardless of your circumstances, regardless of your situation to create whatever you want. And I want to help you tap into some of that capacity today. 

So we’re going to talk about your energy today. I titled this episode, “Your Energy is Creating Your Results,” because I really do know that’s true. Not only from my own experience, but the thousands and thousands of people that I’ve worked with. I’ve seen this to be true over and over again. So, by energy, I mean several different things and that’s what I’m going to dissect for you today and then I’m going to tell you how to boost your energy, give you some strategies that will get your energy more where you want it to be, okay?

First question I want you to ask yourself is, what is an area of my life where I want to apply this? For many of my clients, they are building businesses. I have a big population of clients who are coaches or have a similar business model to a coach, right? An online product or service or course, and they are building businesses. So this shows up a lot for those clients, for my entrepreneurs.

But it might also be that you are single and you want to get married, or you want to have more friends, or again, you want a connection in your marriage. You can apply it wherever you want. I just want you to pick one area of your life to focus on for the exercise we’re going to do today, and then you can absolutely apply this to any other area you want to, okay? So just pick one. It doesn’t matter what one. If you’re like, I have 12 things I want to be better, then just pick any one, okay? I’m going to talk about business, but you apply it to whatever you want.

Now, in regards to that area, I want you to ask yourself an honest question and give an honest answer, which is, how am I showing up in that area of my life? What kind of energy am I bringing to this area of my life? If I’m an entrepreneur, and maybe I’m a new entrepreneur, so I’m still learning a lot and trying to understand strategy and I’m doing some trial and error and I’m trying to get my business to let’s say the first 100k level.

How do you show up in your business? Now, I’m not just talking about day to day, although that’s important. But like I teach workshops every month to my coaches building businesses, right? And I do coaching calls, and I have lots of opportunities for them to come and learn and get help. And there are some who are bringing A-level energy. 

They come to those workshops and even though they’re on, many of them are on Zoom, we have some in person, but let’s talk about the Zoom ones, the online ones for a minute, right? Even though they could just be a silent observer because we use the version of Zoom where we’re not seeing everybody on camera. It’s just me, right? So nobody would know if they were really paying attention. They don’t, there’s not cameras on them, right? But still, some of them are in the comment box, the chat, or the Q&A, or whatever we’re using, making comments, asking questions, contributing, participating.

But do you know what most people are doing? Not that. Most people are not participating. I’ve even had calls where I’m like, give me a how are you feeling about this on a scale of one to 10. I’ve had close to 100 people on the call, two people are willing to put in a number on a scale of one to 10. That just blows my mind. If you want to get something out of this class, you have to put some energy into this class, right?

As the teacher, I’m pouring as much energy into you as I can, but help me out a little, meet me a little bit halfway. Not for my sake though, for your sake. Now, if you don’t care to get anything out of that class, if you’re just there because you’re kind of interested or you want to be entertained or whatever, that’s cool. Okay, then great. No problem. You don’t need to participate like that. 

But most of the people there tell me they care a lot about the result. They care a lot about building their business. They’re doing this because they want to achieve a result. And yet, they won’t even be bothered to participate in an online chat. Then I’ll say, raise your hand. Who wants to come on? Now, I’ve got some awesome coaches. So, usually a lot of people will raise their hands, they’ll want to come on, they’ll want to get coached, but I still feel like it’s the same small percentage of people doing that. And the majority, the other probably 80%, right, are not doing that.

Now, I understand why. Again, this is not meant to shame anyone. I know many of you tell yourselves and tell, would tell me like, I’m just very shy. I’m too nervous to come onto a call live and come on camera and share what’s going on for me. Okay, I get it.  But are you going to show up for what you want, for your business, for your goals, for your dreams? Can you set your shyness aside for a minute, be vulnerable, be courageous, and just give it a go and see how it goes?

Because guess what? What you want is going to require energy to go get. And if you’re not putting out any energy, why do you expect you’re going to get stuff back? All of that nonsense in your head that’s telling you people might judge you, or you’re going to sound dumb. We don’t want anyone to see us. All of that is about your own personal development. That is personal growth work that we need to do. 

You don’t have to become a new version of yourself. If you’re more quiet, I’m a talker. I talk a lot. Okay, I think out loud in sentences. It’s probably very annoying to some people. And you don’t have to be like me or like somebody else like me. You can still be your quiet self. You can speak more selectively. I talk to think. Some people think to talk. Okay? That’s fine. I’m not saying we have to change your personality. I’m saying, when you want to achieve a result, can you bring a little extra energy and can you get outside your comfort zone and can you show up for it in not just a minimal way? Can you take it next level? 

Even if it means instead of you listening to the class or the podcast or the book or whatever it is that you’re doing, while you do laundry, while you drive carpool, while you whatever. What if you actually sat down with a notepad and took notes while you listen to the class? What if you actually participated in the exercises that the teachers giving you and if nothing else, you’re sending a message to the universe that you’re playing to win. You’re showing up for this game. You’re not just phoning it in. You’re here to play and you’re here to win. I wonder what would change if you fully showed up that way. If you want to get a lot out of it, you’re going to have to put more into it. Right? You see what I’m saying, my friends? Okay? 

So, sometimes I go to live events or I put on live events for people and almost every time there’s somebody that says, I’m going to have to leave a little early because my flight leaves at whatever time and I got to get to the airport in time. And I say, great, no problem. See you later. We’ll miss you. And they’ll usually say something like, can you do this part before I go or is there going to be anything important at the end we’re going to miss? And do you know what I say? Yeah, there is going to be important stuff that you’re going to miss. And I don’t know why you booked your flight at a time that meant you had to leave early. 

If you’re there again, just kind of for fun. As my daughter would say, for gets and shiggles, and or for whatever reason, you’re not here to get too much out of it, which is totally valid, by the way. I’ve gone to things sometimes, and I’m like, I just kind of want to see what’s going on here. I’m not here. I don’t need to get a whole lot out of this. I might leave early. Cool. That’s totally fine. I’m talking about when you care about the result, when you’re telling yourself that you really want to learn the content, or you really want to apply it, or you really want to get another result in your life, and then you leave early. What are you doing? 

Do you know what message you’re sending to your own brain, to God, to the universe, to whatever you want to call it? You’re sending a message like, I’m going to take some shortcuts here. I’m not willing to put full energy into this. And guess what? From shortcuts and lack of full energy, you don’t tend to get big results. You really don’t. I don’t anyway. If I figure out how to, I’ll let you know.

On occasion, it happens in my life, but mostly not. Mostly, I don’t trip and fall onto the results I want. Mostly, I go create them with my energy. So energy is literally how you show up and what you’re doing. And I want you to think about this in whatever area of your life you chose.

If you’re single and you want to find a spouse or a partner or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, how are you showing up? What are you doing? Are you crossing your fingers and hoping it happens? Are you doing the bare minimum and like kind of trying to meet some people here and there? Or are you going like full energy, big energy, winning energy, success energy? What does that look like if you’re trying to find a spouse?

Start telling everybody you know, “Hey, I want to find my spouse this year. If you see anybody, meet anybody, think of anybody that you think I might be interested in getting to know better and that might be interested in getting to know me better, please do me a favor, send me their name and number or send them my name and number.” Start asking people to set you up. Like, ask everyone. Put the word out. Tell everyone this is the year you’re going to get married. Get on all the apps or go to all the activities at your college or in your ward or whatever, however you’re going to meet people, pick a way and go all in. 

So many of you are trying to do the bare minimum or a little bit less and just get by. And I’ll tell you what, that is never how I’ve achieved any big results in my life. I’ve only ever done it by going, “You know what we’re going to do this time? We’re going to double down, or we’re going to 10x.” Not long-term, not forever, but I’m going to be out of balance for a while in my life here. Not long-term, but temporarily.

I’ve done this a lot in my business, right? Especially when I was starting out. I was like, “You know what we’re doing? We’re going all in on this business.” And I’m going to 10x or at least double down on the things I know to do, especially if they work. And get myself some momentum and get things moving. And it’s just like pedaling a bike. Sometimes you got to pedal faster and then you get to coast because you’ve built momentum. That is how your life works, my friend, as well. That is how human beings operate. That’s how the results in your life will work. 

Now, I want to touch on one other thing because there are going to be things that you’re afraid to do, right? Maybe you’re afraid to reach out and tell people that you’re dating. Maybe you’re afraid to put yourself online as a coach because people are going to see it, they’re going to judge you, your family and friends are going to think, “Who does she think she is?” or whatever is happening in your head. Here’s the truth. I got to tell you something, real talk. You ready?

The world we live in today, and maybe it’s always been this way, but it’s certainly this way today, it is not cool to try. So there will be people who will go, “Look at her,” because think about it. Trying by definition means that you’re not good at it. Once you’re good at it, you don’t have to try. You just do it. And then it becomes a little more cool. People are impressed with it, or at least they don’t mock it because you’re doing it well.

But in the beginning, you won’t be good at it. You won’t have your messaging down. Let’s just talk about putting out content online, right? You won’t have your wording down. You won’t quite have your own voice discovered. You won’t be good at the technology, you won’t look good on camera. All of those things that you’re afraid of, they will happen in the beginning.

And some people, strangers and friends and family and previous coworkers and ward members and whoever you’re worried about, some of them, not the majority of them, by the way, but some of them will go, “Look at her. Who does she think she is? Oh, that’s so cringy.” It’s real. What your brain’s afraid of, it’s real. Not to the extent your brain thinks. It’s not actually that dangerous, and it’s not most people, but there will probably be a handful. 

You know why? Trying is not cool. Be brave enough to try. Be brave enough to be vulnerable and be like, “Hey everyone, here I am, not good at this thing and I’m doing it anyway.” It’s so tough. It’s so courageous. It’s so boss to try. I want you to be willing to be boss enough to try. I want you to be willing to let people judge you. I want you to be willing to be cringy. Be cringy. It’s okay. You’ll eventually get out of the cringy phase and move into the more refined phase and eventually be get into the pro phase. But you got to start out cringy.

And the people who are sitting back judging you are the cowards. They’re too afraid to go after what they want. They’re not willing to try. They just want to be cool. They’d rather be cool than create what they want in their lives. I would rather create what I want in my life than be cool. I just would. It’s the choice I’ve made. It’s the choice that pays off for me and it’s a choice I recommend that you make. But it takes courage to try. 

Now, the next thing I want to say is that when you try, you won’t always get the result you want. In fact, in the beginning, especially, you’ll mostly not get the result you want. And I think we all know by now that the worst thing we can do is beat ourselves up, that it’s not useful to get super discouraged or call yourself a loser or tell yourself this is never going to work or indulge in that negativity. Everybody kind of knows that.

But whenever I’m coaching somebody on this and they recognize the negativity and they’re telling themselves things like, “I know I shouldn’t do that and I’m not going to be hard on myself. I’m trying not to be hard on myself. I’m trying to be optimistic.”

And here’s what I want to tell you, my friend. Not being hard on yourself is not the same thing as supporting and nurturing and comforting yourself. So I’m not saying don’t be hard on yourself. I’m saying, support yourself, comfort yourself, nurture yourself when things aren’t working, when you don’t get the result you want, when something hard happens. 

Okay, here’s what I mean. Let’s imagine you have a child that comes home from school and they say, “I had a really rough day. This kid made fun of me and I got my test back and I failed it. And it was just a really hard day.” And your kid’s upset, right?

Not being hard on them, the way we talk about this with ourselves, would be not going, “You’re such a loser. I don’t know why you thought you were going to be able to pass that test. You shouldn’t have even tried. Who do you think you are? Of course, you don’t have friends. Of course, people don’t like you because this is wrong with you, and that’s wrong with you.”

That’s what people mean. They’re like, “I’m not, okay, I’m not going to be so hard on myself.” I’m like, “No, not just not be hard on you.” Yeah, obviously don’t say those things to your kid and don’t say them to yourself, but that’s only the beginning. That’s not really what I mean.

What I mean is, take this as an opportunity to go, “Oh,” just like you would with your kid, right? “Oh, honey, come and sit down. Tell me about it. Oh, I’m so sorry. That sounds so hard. You know what? I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way. It’s okay to feel mad about this. It’s okay to feel sad right now. You just feel that way as long as you need to. Can I get you a drink of water? Do you want to go for a little walk?” I’m not talking buffering away from it. I’m talking self-care, nurturing, right?

“Can I give you a hug? What would help? Is there anything I could do that would help? And you know what? Let’s get you a tutor. It’s okay that you struggle with math. You probably got that from me. I’m not good at math at all. But you know what? Let’s get you a tutor because there’s a lot of people out there who are really good at math, and we’ll find one, and we’ll take care of this. Don’t worry. And do you need some advice about how to talk to those kids at school, or do you want to just take a minute and be mad about it?”

That’s what you do for your kid on your best parenting day, right? That’s what you got to do for you. You got to not just not beat yourself up. You got to go, “Oh my gosh, girl, I see you. This is hard. Wow. That did not go how we thought it would and how we wanted it to. And that’s hard and that’s disappointing. And it’s totally valid that you’re disappointed. You know what? Let’s just take some time, be disappointed. Do you want to drink of water? Let’s go for a walk. Let’s call a friend and process it a little bit. Let’s eventually we’re going to go in and figure out how to do it better next time. But by the way, I am so proud of you for trying. I’m so proud of you for showing up and doing that thing. Please don’t ever stop doing that. Please don’t stop trying. Eventually we will figure this out and we don’t have to be in a rush and I’m not mad at you. I love you.”

That’s what you got to do for yourself. That’s the kind of energy you got to bring to your own connection with yourself when you’re working on creating results.

Now, last thing I want to tell you is there’s another kind of energy outside of just what you’re doing, which is your internal energy. The emotions driving you, the belief system driving you, the thoughts and stories and feelings that are driving you. Your internal energy is creating your external results as well as how you show up on the outside. You got to work hard at your internal energy. Doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days. Doesn’t mean you don’t allow space for negative emotion. You do that. But you have to work on bringing the positivity, getting back up after you fall down, even emotionally.

How do you get back up emotionally? You pay attention. You get coaching if you want coaching. You call up a friend who you know will pick you up. Not the one that’s going to keep you down. If you don’t want to stay down, the one that will pick you up, the one that will motivate you. You watch motivating things on YouTube and podcasts and listen to motivating books. You turn off the bad news and the true crime podcast and whatever else you’re fixated on that’s bringing you down, and you turn on the positivity, the motivation, the inspiration. And it’s okay to get help doing that. 

I do it every day. I listen to something motivating, inspiring, uplifting every day. I like YouTube, I like podcasts, I like audiobooks. I have my AirPods in, like, after I get my kids out the door to school, it’s me time. I listen to something motivating. I’ll often drive down to the beach or maybe if I have time, do a short walk on the beach before I start work. I get my internal energy up.

And then I’ll do it again later in the day, after I’m done working, if I’m going for my walk or making dinner or maybe just taking a minute to lay down and have a rest. I pump positivity in because my positive energy creates positive results. You cannot get a high-energy result from a low-energy drive inside you. That’s just how it works, my friends. 

Now, I got good news for you. There is an opportunity that I just recently learned about in Salt Lake City to come to a full-day experience that will get your energy up here. You know how I know? Because I’ve seen the lineup of speakers and I’ve seen the video clips from this event that’s happened in years past, and it is a mega high-energy event.

And here’s what I love about it, okay? At first glance, this looks like a bunch of bros, but you know what? You know who’s going to be speaking at this event? This chick. Okay? So, I’ve met the folks that put on this event. It’s called The Limitless Arena event. Okay? And it’s some of the best people that put it on. The ones I’ve met. I’ve not met all the people, but the ones I’ve interacted with have been great.

So, Keaton Hoskins, this is his event and he’s bringing in a huge group of very high-end speakers. You can go to thelimitlessarena.com and check it out if you want to get a ticket. But here’s the best part. He has allowed me to give you a free ticket to this event. If you cannot afford to come to this event, I want you to come and use a free ticket. But there are lots of different levels of seats at this event, and I want you to ask yourself what kind of energy am I putting into this event, because what I put in is what I’m going to get out. And so I would recommend that you at least buy a next-level-up seat. And I’ll go ahead and give you a coupon code to get it at a discount, get it half off, even. Okay?

But if you really can’t buy a ticket, get a free one, but don’t take one if you’re not coming, okay? Don’t make me look bad by claiming a ticket and not showing up. Grab a ticket and come free, or upgrade to the next level seat and get a discount on it, and just tell the universe, “I’m serious about getting a lot out of this event.”

It is for entrepreneurs and nine-to-fivers who want to uplevel themselves, who want to uplevel their energy. They’re going to talk a lot about entrepreneurship, but they’re going to talk about motivation. They’re going to talk about living your best life and creating your best results. Okay? And if nothing else, come and support your girl. Would you

Because again, it’s going to be me and a bunch of bros who are super impressive people, by the way. We’ve got Logan Paul, we’ve got Jesse Itzler. You can go to the page, thelimitlessarena.com and see for yourself. There’s a huge lineup. But I want you to pour into yourself to get your energy up. And I want you to show up like it’s the most important thing for you to do that day because it will be. 

Okay? So, thelimitlessarena.com coupon code is jodymoore100 if you want to get a discounted or a free ticket. And if you have any questions, reach out to me, but otherwise, I hope to see you there, and thanks for joining me on the podcast today. I’ll see you next time.

Hey everybody, thanks for listening today. Please do me a favor and make sure you’re following or subscribed to the show if you got a lot out of this and share it with a friend. Make sure you never miss an episode and help me spread the message of mental and emotional health and creating your best life. I’ll see you next time.