243. Future Dreams with Macy Moore

Jody Moore: I’m Jody Moore and this is Better Than Happy episode 243: Future Dreams with Macy Moore.

This podcast is for people who know that living an extraordinary life is not easy or comfortable, it’s so much better than that. This is Better Than Happy and I’m your host, Jody Moore.

Hey, everyone. How’s it going? Welcome to the podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in. I know that your time and attention is precious, and I hope that I’m making good use of it here on the podcast. Thanks for listening, and sharing, and tagging me, and applying this in your life, and getting these tools out into the world.

Today, I have my daughter Macy Moore on the podcast. Macy is 12 years old. This is her second time on. She was on a couple of years ago. You guys gave me so much positive feedback. Actually, she’s been on, I should say, one other time with her cousins. You guys always like hearing the way I talk with her about the tools here.

I try to offer my kids thoughts to think, thoughts that I think might serve them, but I always try to come from a place of they may or may not choose to see it that way. They may or may not embrace the thoughts I offer them, and they may or may not even make the decisions that I hope they’ll make in their life. So, I try to view myself as sort of a mentor and a guide.

Anyway, that’s how I try to always talk to my kids. I think you’ll hear a little bit of that here. This is also one that your kids might enjoy listening to. I think kids would rather hear from kids than from adults. Macy has some things to share that I know you’re going to love. I’m excited for you to hear it.

If you’re new to the podcast, make sure you get the podcast roadmap at JodyMoore.com/map because that will help you just know which episodes to go listen to, to get up and running. Then if you’ve been listening for a while, and you’re not in Be Bold, then seriously get into Be Bold because we keep doing more and more amazing things in there.

I keep getting messages from people about how they thought they knew all of this because they’ve been listening to me for so long. Then they came into Be Bold, and suddenly, a whole another world opened up to them. So, go to JodyMoore.com/membership to join me there, and we’ll take it all to the next level. I would be honored to be your coach. All right. Here is my discussion with my daughter, Macy.

Jody Moore: Hi, Mace.

Macy Moore: Hello.

Jody Moore: How’s it going?

Macy Moore: Good.

Jody Moore: Tell everyone who you are.

Macy Moore: I’m Macy Moore, and I’m my mom’s daughter.

Jody Moore: Thanks for coming on the podcast today.

Macy Moore: Thank you for having me.

Jody Moore: Tell people a little bit about yourself though, like how old you are, and what you do. Just tell us who you are.

Macy Moore: I’m 12 years old. I do dance, and I love it. I don’t really have anything. I kind of like to draw.

Jody Moore: You’re a really good artist.

Macy Moore: Thank you.

Jody Moore: Actually, you’ve always been a really good artist, even when you were a little.

Macy Moore: Now, I can just draw Baby Yoda. That’s it.

Jody Moore: You’re really good at drawing Baby Yoda.

Macy Moore: That’s all I can draw.

Jody Moore: You’re in what grade?

Macy Moore: Seventh grade.

Jody Moore: Seventh grade. Middle school. Yeah?

Macy Moore: Yep.

Jody Moore: How’s middle school? What’s challenging about middle school, first of all?

Macy Moore: Well, it gets challenging after all the work, and just trying to get good grades and trying to keep it up without failing stuff because it’s not very easy to not fail stuff and do bad.

Jody Moore: Okay. You’re good at school though. You do well. Yeah?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Do you think school is harder, or the social part of middle school and just growing up, and figuring out who you are, and all that?

Macy Moore: Honestly, I think the harder part is socially because first of all, just thinking about how much more of school I have throughout my years. Just thinking about that makes me not feel motivated because I’m like, “I’ve so much of this.” Also just figuring out like, “How am I going to act today?”

Jody Moore: Yeah. That’s hard because you’re sort of at the age where you have to start making decisions about who you’re going to be.

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Not easy to do. Okay. Well, I’m proud of you because you’re doing a good job.

Macy Moore: Thank you.

Jody Moore: I’m proud of the person you’re choosing to be. Here’s what I wanted to talk about today, is the future.

Macy Moore: Okay.

Jody Moore: I thought it’d be fun to just hear your thoughts about the future. You just mentioned that when you think about all the school that you have left, that you feel overwhelmed. Yeah?

Macy Moore: Mm-hmm.

Jody Moore: Why?

Macy Moore: Just because there’s so much to do and so much more waiting, and sitting down, and just listening to people talk, and all that.

Jody Moore: But sometimes that can be fun, and sometimes it is sort of tedious too. What’s our philosophy about school and grades?

Macy Moore: As long as you’re trying your best because if you’re trying your best and getting F’s and failing everything, yes, maybe there’s other things you can try to help.

Jody Moore: Or maybe tell mom and dad that you need more help. Yeah?

Macy Moore: Mm-hmm. As long as you’re just trying your best, then that’s all that matters because that helps you learn a lot more than just trying to go for A’s.

Jody Moore: Yeah, grades don’t matter, right? We’re going to just try our best and learn what we can, but in the end, who cares?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Just have fun. You’re pretty good at having fun though. Yeah?

Macy Moore: Yeah. When I get an okay score on a test, I just look at what I did wrong and just think like, “It’s okay.” A lot of people ask me like, “How are you just so calm about your grades and stuff?” They’re not bad. People, whenever they see a grade that they’re not satisfied with, they think that’s bad, but it might not be bad too because grades just show what you did.

Jody Moore: Yeah, and where you’re at in the process of learning. Okay. So, how do you feel about eighth grade?

Macy Moore: I don’t really know.

Jody Moore: Are you excited to be an eighth grader? You’ll be the oldest one at the school next year.

Macy Moore: I’m still figuring out, in our school we have a leadership thing. With all schools, you have something like that, and I’m still figuring out if I want to do that, but I don’t really know.

Jody Moore: You could be good at that, I think.

Macy Moore: I might. I don’t know.

Jody Moore: Okay. What about high school? Have you thought about high school at all?

Macy Moore: I have, and I’m kind of nervous because I just hear all these shootings. That’s what makes me nervous.

Jody Moore: Really? Well, we’ve never had a shooting at your high school. Did you know that, the high school that you’re going to go to?

Macy Moore: True.

Jody Moore: That doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen. It’s possible in our world at any school, really, but the schools around here take a lot of precautions to try to prevent anybody from getting hurt. It’s okay. I understand being nervous.

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: It’s okay to be nervous, right?

Macy Moore: Yeah. That’s honestly the only thing I’m nervous about for high school.

Jody Moore: That’s the only thing you’re nervous about? You’re not nervous about any of the rest of it?

Macy Moore: No.

Jody Moore: Good. You’re going to do awesome.

Macy Moore: Thanks.

Jody Moore: It’s okay to be nervous. Okay. Let’s think about the future beyond that then. What do you want to be when you grow up, Macy Moore?

Macy Moore: Okay. My first job, I really want to work at Chick-fil-A.

Jody Moore: Chick-fil-A. Okay, that sounds good. I could use the benefits of you working at Chick-fil-A.

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Okay. Why Chick-fil-A?

Macy Moore: Because they pay good, but also, it’s not like such a difficult job that I’m going to be stressing. I think just starting off it’s going to be stressful. So, having a job where you know what to do every day and just do that and figure everything else out would be a lot easier than doing a difficult job.

Jody Moore: Okay. So, Chick-fil-A, you need to come to Spokane. Macy is ready to work for you. In a few years, you’ll be old enough. Not quite yet. Okay. What about beyond that? I know you’ve thought about college a little bit. Tell me what your thoughts are about that.

Macy Moore: I want to go to Utah State.

Jody Moore: Go Aggies.

Macy Moore: First of all, because my mom said they have the best banana bread.

Jody Moore: It’s true, in the student center.

Macy Moore: I forgot what it was, but didn’t you say there was like a tuition or something?

Jody Moore: Well, because I’m alumni, you can get in-state tuition. So, it saves us a little money.

Macy Moore: I’m not really sure, but I think that also BYU is kind of pushing it for me because it seems very hard.

Jody Moore: It’s hard to get into. You could if you wanted. Okay. So, when you think about the future, Macy, how do you feel?

Macy Moore: Excited.

Jody Moore: Good. Why are you excited? What are your thoughts that make us feel excited?

Macy Moore: Because there’s so much to do, and I can’t wait to drive a car to go to Chick-fil-A.

Jody Moore: Yeah, you’re going to get to drive. What else are you looking forward to in the future?

Macy Moore: I’m looking forward to seeing the Clays more often.

Jody Moore: Yeah, seeing your cousins.

Macy Moore: Seeing family because I just like seeing them, and just going fun places.

Jody Moore: Having a little bit more independence. As you get older, and you can drive and things, you get a little bit more independence. Even though I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to just stay by your mom’s side all the time.

Macy Moore: I used to want that a lot when I was little.

Jody Moore: This is what I think your future should be. You should just stay with me. Never leave again. You can have a job if you want, but just stay here with me and dad forever. Don’t you think that sounds like a good idea? Let me make all your decisions for you. You can have boyfriends only if I choose them. I think this is a perfect plan. Don’t you?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Not really. I’m just kidding. You got to make your own choices and go out in the world eventually.

Macy Moore: Yeah, gosh.

Jody Moore: Okay. So what about after college?

Macy Moore: So, I want to continue with dance and maybe teach it. I was thinking about becoming a professional dancer, but then having all the performances and traveling, I think that would be difficult. So, I think I just want to teach dance.

Jody Moore: What if you open up your own dance studio?

Macy Moore: That’d be fun too.

Jody Moore: You, and Mable, and Pearl together.

Macy Moore: That’d be perfect.

Jody Moore: You could all own a dance studio.

Macy Moore: We talked about that one time. That’d be really fun.

Jody Moore: That’d be fun, right?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Okay. How much money do you want to make when you’re older?

Macy Moore: As long as I have enough to buy food, and water, and a house.

Jody Moore: As long as you have some water, then you’re good. Yeah?

Macy Moore: If you’ve got water, you’re good.

Jody Moore: Okay.

Macy Moore: Well, because I just want enough money to live off of.

Jody Moore: To live off of?

Macy Moore: Yeah. I don’t want to live in a super big house. I like it to be spacious, but still just my size.

Jody Moore: You like a cozy house?

Macy Moore: Mm-hmm.

Jody Moore: I like a cozy house too.

Macy Moore: That’s what I like, yeah.

Jody Moore: Do you know how much money that would require to live that way?

Macy Moore: A lot. Definitely Chick-fil-A won’t pay that off until a long time.

Jody Moore: Maybe not. Maybe though it depends on where you’re living.

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Okay. Well, I’m pretty excited for you. I think you’re going to do good things in the future.

Macy Moore: Thank you.

Jody Moore: Like I said, if you want to just stay here with me and dad, that’s cool too. Don’t forget. What about do you envision yourself getting married and having family one day?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Yeah? Do you want a big family, small family?

Macy Moore: Small.

Jody Moore: Small? Like how many kids?

Macy Moore: Like two.

Jody Moore: Two kids?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: How come?

Macy Moore: I don’t know. I just like a smaller family.

Jody Moore: You like it smaller?

Macy Moore: I feel like a bigger family would be a lot of work.

Jody Moore: Yeah, they are. It’s fun though.

Macy Moore: No.

Jody Moore: Okay, cool. So, you feel pretty excited about the future? Is there anything you worry about when you think about the future?

Macy Moore: Not being able to make money.

Jody Moore: Do you?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: But you know you have a mom that’s really good at making money.

Macy Moore: Yes.

Jody Moore: So, she can teach you how.

Macy Moore: Yes, that’s true.

Jody Moore: How about that? Will you let me teach you how?

Macy Moore: Sure. I mean, not right now. I don’t want to do that.

Jody Moore: No, not right.

Macy Moore: That’s boring.

Jody Moore: One day.

Macy Moore: Someday.

Jody Moore: It’s pretty fun.

Macy Moore: Got to tie me up to a tree and have me listen because I have a hard time listening. Good luck with that.

Jody Moore: Well, I just want to offer to you this idea that making money is actually one of the most fun things that you’ll get to do in your life. I think you’ll like it because I was just like you where I was like, “I can’t wait to turn 16 and get a job.” I worked at the old spaghetti factory as a hostess. That was my first job. Just being able to go and make my own money and be in a restaurant with other people, I really loved.

So, it’s not always fun. There’s hard parts and tiring parts, but if you’re up for that, it can be really fun to, like you said, have that independence that working a little bit will bring you. If you choose not to work at some point in your life, that’s okay too. A lot of women choose not to work, and men, to stay home and take care of kids and things. It’s all good. But I want you to think about the future as you can have anything you want to in your future. Did you know that? Do you believe that?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Okay. Sometimes people hear me say that, and they’re like, “Well, I can’t have anything I want. I mean, if I want to be an NBA basketball star, probably not going to.” I would say, “Okay, but do you even really want that?” So, the things that you want, the things that you’re interested in, like you’re very interested in dance, and art, and things like that. It just so happens that you also have some talent and skills in those areas, and that’s typically true.

We’re typically drawn to things that we’re also a little bit good at, and that probably will lead us towards where we can also do a lot of good in the world. Okay. Well, anything else? You said sometimes you get nervous about making money. Anything else you get nervous about in the future?

Macy Moore: Well, one time I was kind of like, “Well, making friends is going to be difficult if I go somewhere.” Then I’m like, “Wait, if I got to Utah, Mabel and Pearl will be there, and I’ll be fine.”

Jody Moore: You have your cousins, yeah. Tell me why you get nervous about making friends.

Macy Moore: Because it’s hard to make friends because sometimes people feel threatened by you and all this other stuff.

Jody Moore: Yeah. Do you remember what I taught you about friendships and relationships?

Macy Moore: No, I don’t think so.

Jody Moore: Remember one time you were having a sad moment, worried about some friends, and I taught you about the three things that we can think about in our relationship?

Macy Moore: No, I don’t.

Jody Moore: Okay, let’s review it. Let’s review it, and you can help me teach it to people.

Macy Moore: Okay.

Jody Moore: So, there’s what we think of other people.

Macy Moore: Wait, I think I remember. What we think of others, what they think of themselves.

Jody Moore: What they think of us.

Macy Moore: What they think of us, and what we think of us, right?

Jody Moore: Yeah.

Macy Moore: Okay.

Jody Moore: There is actually, you’re right, what they think of themselves comes into play. So, when we think about those areas, where do we want to put our focus?

Macy Moore: What we think about ourselves.

Jody Moore: And what we think about?

Macy Moore: Them.

Jody Moore: Yes. Why would we want to focus on that and not on what they think of us?

Macy Moore: Because people might not think the best things about us, but it doesn’t matter because they aren’t us.

Jody Moore: We can’t control what they think of us, right?

Macy Moore: Mm-hmm.

Jody Moore: Most people are going to like you mostly, but occasionally, some people won’t.

Macy Moore: You can’t have everyone like you, no matter how amazing you are.

Jody Moore: Well, here’s the thing. So, we’re members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There are some people out there who don’t like our religion.

Macy Moore: Yes.

Jody Moore: They think that we’re misled or whatever. For whatever reason, they don’t like our religion. So, if we try to change who we are to please other people, eventually, we’re going to lose track of who we even are.

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: So, we have to decide who we want to be, and show up that way, and be that person, and then allow other people to have their own opinions. The church is an obvious one, but there’s other things like maybe people won’t like your sense of humor.

Macy Moore: That’s very true.

Jody Moore: Has that ever happened?

Macy Moore: Yeah. Lots of people take it for annoying, like a lot. A lot, a lot.

Jody Moore: So, you have to decide, “Okay. Am I going to tone myself down and stop being who I want to be, and having fun, and enjoying life, and joking around because that other person doesn’t like it?” Sometimes three answer might be yes. Sometimes it feels appropriate. Then there’s other times when it’s like, “No, it’s okay. I’m not for everyone. Everyone doesn’t have to like me.”

Macy Moore: Yeah, and I think that you can just keep on pleasing yourself. Then other people will come along and notice that you’re happy as you are and like you.

Jody Moore: Yeah, that’s right. We’re actually really attracted to people that are confident. So, we talked about what we think about other people. What about what we think of us?

Macy Moore: Well, it’s really important because if you don’t like yourself, then life is just miserable if you don’t like yourself.

Jody Moore: Yeah. It’s hard to do though, right?

Macy Moore: Mm-hmm. It can be hard to change.

Jody Moore: Yeah. Do you think about how you think about you very often?

Macy Moore: Not really. I just think about, “Oh, you did this wrong,” but that’s really it. Like in dance, if I do something wrong, I think, “Oh, darn it.” Then sometimes I think like, “Oh, I bet that looks so weird for that person’s perspective.” Then you just think like, “Other people don’t care.” You just got to think of what you think of yourself.

Jody Moore: That’s right. Okay. Let’s do this little exercise. I want you to tell me 10 things you appreciate about you.

Macy Moore: Okay. I think I’m talented, and happy. I like to be happy.

Jody Moore: Good.

Macy Moore: I get excited about little things, which I think is a good trait to have.

Jody Moore: Yeah, makes life more fun.

Macy Moore: I like my smile, and I have good friends.

Jody Moore: Good.

Macy Moore: That’s about yourself.

Jody Moore: Yeah, because if you were a mean person, you wouldn’t have those good friends.

Macy Moore: Yes, that’s true. I believe in what we believe, like our church, because it just helps me a lot going through things. Did I say dance skills?

Jody Moore: No.

Macy Moore: I like my dance stuff.

Jody Moore: You like your dance?

Macy Moore: Yes.

Jody Moore: Yeah. I just have to throw one in. When you decide to go after something and set a goal, you really go after it. Do you know this is unusual?

Macy Moore: Really?

Jody Moore: Yeah, like when you decided you wanted to be able to do the splits for dance, you go down in the basement and stretch like almost every day. You’ve been working really hard for how long to be able to do the splits?

Macy Moore: Probably maybe like half a year. A little more than that maybe.

Jody Moore: Yeah, really consistently. Can you do them on both sides now?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Yeah, even standing up.

Macy Moore: Yeah, almost standing up.

Jody Moore: It’s pretty amazing. I don’t know if you know this, but especially at your age, it’s pretty rare to be that focused for that long on a goal like that. That’s something you should appreciate about you.

Macy Moore: Thank you.

Jody Moore: That’s going to be really useful in your life, right?

Macy Moore: Yeah. My mind is set on things when I want something, want to get something right. Also, I think that I am thoughtful of others, which sometimes isn’t the best because if you’re too thoughtful in thinking like, “Oh, I think they’re sad,” and sometimes when you just leave people be and let them be sad. Sometimes that’s not the best, but it’s good to be thoughtful.

Jody Moore: Well, it’s kind of that balance between wanting to be kind and try to help someone out.

Macy Moore: And be relatable.

Jody Moore: Just give people space to work out how they’re feeling sometimes. Yeah, but I think you’re good at navigating that. It takes some practice, right?

Macy Moore: Thank you. Yeah. The last thing I think would be that I have a really good relationship with my cousins, which I’m really happy about because it’s just so fun. I know you and Natalie have told me that you guys with your cousins, you didn’t see them very often.

Jody Moore: We didn’t see them very often, so we didn’t know them very well.

Macy Moore: So you didn’t know them. I just think I’m really glad about that.

Jody Moore: Yeah, that’s awesome.

Macy Moore: I have good relationships with people.

Jody Moore: How about with your siblings?

Macy Moore: Yeah, I am very, very happy that Isaac is my sibling because it’s just so fun to play with. He’s so fun. Then Taylor, she’s interesting. She’s just so funny to make fun memories with. Oliver is so sweet. He’s so nice.

Jody Moore: Here’s just one other thing I want to say that I appreciate about you, is not only do you share a room with your four-year-old sister, but you even volunteered. You said, “Mom, I feel like Oliver and Taylor are getting too old to share a room. Brother and sister. I’ll share a room with my sister. That was a big sacrifice.”

Macy Moore: Yes. I didn’t tell you also that I did not like having my own room because it freaked me out.

Jody Moore: It did?

Macy Moore: Did not also tell you that.

Jody Moore: That’s okay. It’s okay to have some selfish motives too. It was a win-win.

Macy Moore: Yeah, it was.

Jody Moore: Do you feel better now that you share with Taylor? Taylor will protect you.

Macy Moore: Yeah. Oh, boy, she’s creepy.

Jody Moore: No, but I get that. Sometimes when you’re just alone, your mind can wander. Is that what you mean?

Macy Moore: Yeah.

Jody Moore: Yeah. Okay, good. Well, Mace, I’m sure proud of you. I hope that you will remember that as you continue to think about the future, the things you want might change. Like you said when you were little, you thought you wanted to stay with me forever. That’s starting to change. So, it’s okay for what you want to change, but I want you to always be thinking about what you want and to not listen to your brain when it says, “Oh, you can’t do that, or you’re not allowed, or you shouldn’t, or it’s too hard.” Like if you want to go to BYU, you could go to BYU. Don’t limit yourself because your brain will tell you that you shouldn’t go do scary things. I think you should do all the scary things. Except only if I approve them first.

Macy Moore: Except for roller coasters. No roller coasters.

Jody Moore: Even roller coasters.

Macy Moore: Mom, no. Those are scary.

Jody Moore: Are you going to ride Space Mountain when we go to Disneyland?

Macy Moore: Okay, I will do that, but that’s it.

Jody Moore: All right, Mace. Well, I sure love you. Thanks for coming on the podcast.

Macy Moore: I love you too. Thank you. Bye.

Jody Moore: All right, bye.

Macy Moore: Oh, and I’d like to say happy birthday to my friend, Kate. She’s amazing. I mean, all my friends, but she’s awesome. Kate Woodward. Happy birthday, Kate.

Jody Moore: If you have a question about something you’ve heard me talk about on this podcast or anything else going on in your life, I want to invite you to a free public call. Ask Jody Anything. I will teach you the main coaching tool I use with all of my clients in the way to solve any problem in your life, and we will plug in real life examples. Come to the call and ask me a question anonymously or just listen in. Go to JodyMoore.com/AskJody and register before your miss it. I’ll see you there.