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Jody Moore

Life Coaching for Moms

Entre-Talk: Can You Be a Coach if You’re a Mess?

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Better Than Happy Jody Moore | Can You Be a Coach if You’re a Mess?

Do you feel like a fluke as a coach? Are you worried about being in a position where your clients trust you to help them, but feel stuck in the same way they are? Can you be a coach if you’re a mess?

This is a question I’ve been asked time and time again, and I’m excited to share my thoughts with you this week. The truth is, if you’re on a journey of evolution and mastery, there will always be new areas for you to do work on to leverage your brain, and this is not a problem.

Join me this week as I offer a more empowering way to think about your own personal struggles as they relate to helping your clients with theirs. I’m sharing why honesty on your part is the most important thing you can share with your clients, and the difference between the skills of coaching and executing a task or goal.

I’m so excited to announce that I’ll be speaking at Funnel Hacking LIVE 2023 at the end of September in Orlando, Florida! If you want to learn more about all things online marketing, funnels, and mindset, click here! 

I want to give away all of my best secrets, and that’s why I’ve created a free training. If you’re a coach or you want to start a similar business and are struggling to figure out how to get started, you need this training. To get it, all you have to do is click here!

What You’ll Learn on this Episode:

  • A more empowering way to think about your personal struggles.
  • Why honesty on your part is vital.
  • The difference between the skills required to coach and the skills required to execute what you coach on.

Mentioned on the Show:

  • I’m Jody Moore and this is Better Than Happy, Entre-Talk: Can You Be a Coach if You’re a Mess?

    This is Better Than Happy, the podcast where we study what the healthiest, most successful people in today’s world think, feel and do. And we leverage this knowledge to create our best lives. Are you ready, little bird? Let’s fly.

    Hey, everybody, welcome to an entrepreneur episode. This one is designed specifically for my fellow coaches building coaching businesses. I got this question that came in through the IG direct messages. She asked me specifically to address it maybe on a podcast. I said, “Brilliant idea. I know you’re not the only one because I’ve been asked this question a lot.”

    Here’s what she said, “As a coach, I sometimes feel like a fluke because I’m still struggling with what I’m trying to help my client with. I feel like they turn to me, trusting that I can really help them, but sometimes I feel stuck in the same way they are and it makes me feel not good enough. I had to have overcome it in order to walk someone else through it. So I guess my question is, what is a more empowering way to think about my personal struggles when it comes to helping my clients with theirs?

    And just another thought, I would never go to a marriage counselor who currently has marriage problems. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to trust them but I also know that everyone struggles and is always going to be a working progress.” Aright, can any of you relate to this? Thank you to the person who sent in this question. I know I can, especially in the beginning when I first started my business, I had a lot of that sort of impostor syndrome come up and I don’t as much anymore and here’s what I think.

    I think first of all that as a coach, I want to be honest with people. I want to be as transparent as I can. So I don’t want to say things like, “I totally understand this and I have mastered this”, if I haven’t. I think that’s important because when you talk about trust, and you mentioned that word several times, that clients are trusting you. When we hire a coach or somebody like that, we want to feel like we can trust them. And I agree, trust is an important component.

    But trust doesn’t come from us necessarily having everything all figured out and mastered. It comes from us telling the truth. So that is first and foremost. Now, why do we not tell the truth? Why do people sometimes hide the truth or lie about what’s true is for this very reason that you’re bringing up, the very question of if they know the truth, will they trust me? And the answer may be for some people, no.

    You gave the example that you wouldn’t go to a marriage counselor who currently has marriage problems. Fair enough. But guess what? Many people would, as long as marriage counselor tells the truth. Let me give an example.

    I coach a lot on food and health and bodies and trying to maintain your ideal weight and I am very transparent. I talk all the time, in fact, sometimes I have the thought like maybe if I stopped labeling myself as someone who struggles in that area I would stop making that my result because our thoughts become our results. And I think that’s just a thought that that’s hard for me, but it’s still a thought I kind of believe, and I talk about it. I talk about how I’ve lost weight and I’ve gained weight.

    And I have moments where I’m thinking really healthy and loving my body and other moments where it’s really hard and I feel all the body shame again. And I’m definitely in the thick of it and I honestly think I might be for my entire life, I really might. It might always be a challenge for me. I don’t know that I will ever just be like, “No, I just eat healthy and exercise, that’s just what I do.” I want to believe I could be that person, but I don’t know. I’m definitely not her yet. And I talk about it all the time, and yet I still understand what’s going on in the brain.

    I understand why we overeat. I understand buffering and avoiding emotions. I understand allowing urges. I understand willpower and resisting and deprivation and hunger and hormones and I know all of it. And what I’m really good at is showing people their brains because here’s the interesting thing. What for me is challenging about this topic is not necessarily the same thing that’s challenging for many of my clients. So I’m able to go in and see and point out to you what’s going on for you and that doesn’t always mean I’m able to see it in myself.

    So a lot of people come to me and they want help improving their eating habits, let’s just say. And it’s so challenging for me to monitor myself around my food. Why do people come to me? Because some people recognize that I’m really good at coaching and showing them themselves, and they run away with it and they have more success than I’ve even had. And there are probably other people out there who are like, “I would never let Jody coach me about food stuff because she hasn’t mastered it herself.” And that’s okay. I don’t need all the people.

    I’m not for everyone, but for the ones that see that I have the skill of coaching, which is actually different from the skill of getting myself to eat well, by the way, two totally different skill sets. Then it still works great. Now, here’s the other thing is that because I tell the truth about it, there’s a lot of trust there and I will say that I don’t think that I could do what I’m doing if I wasn’t at least trying, if I wasn’t practicing what I preach. But what I preach isn’t, you need to nail this and master this and if it’s taking you a little time, then what’s wrong with you, you’re not doing it right.

    That is not what I teach. What I teach is we all will always have areas where it is easier for us to manage our brains and feel how we want and show up how we want and create what we want and areas where it is challenging. And you may master an area, and that’s great and that will be fun and that is amazing growth, but then there will be a new area. There will always be areas where we get to do the work of leveraging our brains.

    And so do the work because it’s worth it because it’s what keeps you progressing in the way you want to, not just letting life come at you by default. But also don’t expect that you’re ever going to be complete. We’re never going to check the box, now I’m a perfect human. That’s never going to happen in this lifetime. So I am practicing what I preach. I am paying attention to my mind. I am running models. I have times when I’m really focused on getting healthier.

    And other times when I realize my head is not in a healthy space to do that, I have too much body shame and stuff going on. I need to focus on something different. That is exactly what I teach my clients. That is exactly how I would advise a client. So there’s a difference between I teach one thing, but I do something totally different. I don’t think that I would feel good about that as a coach. But that is different from this is the thing for me that keeps coming up that I have not yet completely mastered.

    Again, I want to just reiterate what I said in the beginning though, that I do think it’s okay. I personally would never hire a business coach that hasn’t succeeded in business. That’s just me. I’m not saying that’s right or wrong because I do believe the skill of coaching is different than the skill of running your business. But I think that for me anyway, in my mind, in business there’s enough trial and error that has to happen to really learn it on a deep level that I don’t want a business coach that hasn’t been more successful than I’ve been.

    I want somebody that is more successful than me, that knows things I don’t even know I don’t know at this point. And so if that’s true for you in marriage or in weight loss or in any area and you want to find a coach who’s succeeded beyond the level you’re at, I’m in. But as far as you and your own coaching practice, I would say to tell the truth and recognize what are the skills required to coach versus the skills required to execute the thing that you coach on.

    And are they different enough that you feel good about saying, “Listen, do this with me. I’m going to dive in. I’m going to be going through it this month or this summer or this year or whatever. Who wants to join me? Let’s do it together because my head’s got a lot of cleaning up to do in this area and I need to get some leverage on myself and if you do too, let’s do it together because I do know the tools that we can apply to make that happen, and I’ll share my journey with you. Come with me.” Put it out there.

    And some people will say “No, thank you. I don’t want to come with you. I want you to be ahead of me and then teach me.” Alright, that’s fine. But many others want to join you on your journey. You will never be done working on yourself, I won’t anyway. So that’s okay, coaches are people too. Let yourself be a person.

    Alright, thanks so much for that great question, you guys. And like always, if you haven’t taken my free training, I know what I was going to tell you actually. Well, the free training, make sure you take it. I keep getting messages from people saying, “Thank you, your free training was so good. It was so much more valuable than I thought it was going to be. I can’t believe it was free.” So I’m so glad it’s helping you, go to jodysfreetraining.com if you haven’t taken it, it’ll help you get your business really thriving.

    But the other thing I want to tell you is several episodes ago I said, “You guys, I have a big announcement, but I can’t tell you yet.” And then I’ve gotten messages from people going, “You just left us hanging. You never gave us the big announcement.” So here’s my big announcement. I’m so delighted that I get to speak at the end of September at Funnel Hacking LIVE. This is the event put on by ClickFunnels, which is an amazing software that helps you build your marketing funnels and it’s owned by Russell Brunson, who is a brilliant teacher of all things online marketing. He’s taught me so much.

    So I am so honored to get to be speaking at that event. It is September 27th through the 30th in Orlando, Florida. And so if you want to learn more about all things online marketing and funnels and mindset and all the things that are necessary to grow a thriving business, come to Funnel Hacking LIVE in Orlando with me. It’s going to be amazing. And that was my big announcement that I’m so excited about speaking at that event, so honored that they invited me.

    So anyway, thanks for joining me today for Entre-Talk, you all. I’ll see you soon. Take care.

    If you are a coach, healer or expert who is not yet making six figures, or not sure you’re set up properly to grow to seven figures and beyond, go take my free training. It’s at jodysfree-training.com. I’ll see you there.

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