209. Go Get It

I’m Jody Moore and this is Better Than Happy, episode 209, Go Get It.

This podcast is for people who know that living an extraordinary life is not easy or comfortable. It’s so much better than that. This is Better Than Happy, and I’m your host, Jody Moore.

What’s happening? It is podcast day at Jody Moore Coaching; one of my most favorite days, podcast day. Here’s the truth; I am doing some batch recording of podcasts today because I’ve listened to some other people who are podcasters and they say, “Yeah, that’s what I do. I sit down one day and I record like four or five episodes and we’re ready to go for the month.” And I was like, “What? What would that be like?”

So I’m trying it out today. Let’s see if I can still come up with all the good ideas and if I can make this work. And I don’t know if I’ll like it or if I’ll go back to every week a new episode. But I’m all in on trying new things. So, that’s what we’re doing today.

We’re going to talk about, in this episode, go get it. Now, before we dive into go get it, what that even means and why I’m talking about it today, I get lots of messages from new listeners – if you’re new, welcome, thanks for being here – new listeners or people who are new to my work and they say, “Hey,  Jody, I would like to have you coach me. I’d like to have you be my life coach. Can you do that?”

And I say, “Yes, of course I can.” There’s three ways that you can work with me and have me be your life coach, which by the way, if you don’t have a life coach, you should have a life coach. I’m telling you, everybody needs a life coach, in my opinion. Only, I should say, if you want to maximize your life.  If you want to really 10X your progress on your goals and really understand how to solve for problems and challenges, then get a life coach.

So, I may not be the right coach for you. I’m definitely not the right coach for everybody. But if you don’t have a coach and you like my approach and style then maybe I am the right coach for you. So here’s the three ways you can work with me if you’re wondering.

The first way is to come to Better Than Happy Live. That is a one-day live event that I do a few times throughout the year. We have one happening September 17^th in the great state of Utah. So it will be at Thanksgiving Point. It’s on a Tuesday, because why not? Your kids will be in school. You might need to take the day off work if you work. Come and hang out with me for the day. We’re going to be together all day and that’s a great introduction to coaching.

If you’ve never been coached before, you’ve never heard coaching or you haven’t heard very much of it, or maybe you’ve heard it and you understand the power of it and you love it and you want to come hang out with me then come to Better Than Happy Live. So, tickets will be on sale for that by the time this podcast gets released. You go to jodymoore.com and click on live events. We will pop a link here in the show notes, of course.

But don’t delay if you’re going to come because last time we did an event at Thanksgiving Point, it sold out in, I think, 10 days, so don’t wait. That’s the first way to work with me.

The second way to work with me is in my virtual program Be Bold.  Be Bold is where I do probably 90% of the coaching I do right now. So the way it works is you get a different class every month from me. We focus on a different topic every month. But we not only understand it like you’re hearing it here on the podcast; we actually start applying it to your life. What, that’s a novel idea, right?

So the way we do that is through worksheets and assignments I give you and coaching that we do ongoing.  Any time you want to get coached, you can come and sign up to get coached. There’s lots of different ways to get help. You can post a question to me anonymously. You can get coached, all the different calls. There’s lots of ways. I’m not going to go into the detail in the podcast because it would take forever. But that’s an amazing program at an amazing value of $49 per month. I’m just saying, if you’re not in there, you should get in there.

The doors are only open to that on occasion. So you’ve got to come to the Ask Jody call where I will go into detail about that program and I will also tell you about how and when you can get in there and join us. So that’s at jodymoore.com/askjody.

And then the third way to work with me, and this is only for a few of you who are really passionate about this work, really feel the power of it, you come and get some life coaching and you see how impactful it is. A lot of people who come to this have never been coached by me but they have seen and heard coaching. And that is my program called Be Bold Masters.

This is another in-person five-day event. It’s a small group only. You work with 50 people at a time and we really, really go deep for those five days. So you do need to be in Be Bold to come to that. So if you think you might be interested in a deep dive and really taking everything to the next level, both for yourself and for whatever goals you’re pursuing, then make sure you’re in Be Bold. That’s where I will teach you all about Be Bold Masters.

The next one of that is happening in October and it’s almost sold out. I have just a few seats left for that. So if you’re in Be Bold, stay tuned for the info call where I will be telling you more about how to join me there.

Alright, so I hope that clears it up for you guys. Those are the three ways to work with me. That’s it. That’s what I do. But I promise you, you can get what you need in one or all of those three formats. I have many people that do all of them.

Okay, let’s talk about going and getting it, shall we? I really wrestled with what to call this episode because I didn’t quite know how to describe what I was thinking, and I decided Go Get It is as good a name as any. So let me try and explain what I mean by that, and then what I’m going to do is I’m going to teach you the five key elements to going and getting it.

So, I notice this in myself and in many of you in the questions that we ask that what we tend to think is that there is a process or a program or a class or way or something outside of us that is going to create it, whatever it is. So it can be so many things. And I am always going to use tons of examples to try to teach this to you today. Some of the examples that I’m going to use are little trivial things that may not seem like they matter at all, and others are bigger, more ambitious goals. It doesn’t matter in the end. I’m just going to use all different kinds of examples to help you see the concepts I’m teaching.

Some of them, you’ll think, “That doesn’t apply to me.” It doesn’t matter, it’s the concept that I want you to understand. So, it is, quote en quote it, is the result that you’re trying to achieve in some area of your life. Maybe it is the size you want your body to be, how much you want to weigh. Maybe it is the amount of money that you want to have. And maybe even behind that is, like, a business that you want to create or a job that you want to get. Maybe it is a relationship; a relationship with your child or with your spouse or that you want to get married and be in a relationship of some sort. It can really be anything, but it is, in this case, the result in some area of your life that you’re trying to achieve.

Okay, so these are the five elements that I want you to consider when it comes to going and getting it. Number one, you are going to have to create the result. It does not just happen. We hear stories of seemingly overnight success. And so we start to think, “Oh look, it could just happen, like it happened for that guy who started that thing in his garage and then suddenly it took off and he became a billionaire in the end and wouldn’t that be nice if that could just happen to me?”

But what we don’t hear is all the details of that story, everything that came before that point, all of the struggle, all of the – whether they would label it this or not – all of the self-coaching that had to happen to keep going and not quit and all of the hard work and all of the rejection and all of the failure. And even when we do hear that part of the story, many times, we sort of conveniently block it out, the same way you are pregnant and when you are pregnant you’re thinking, “This is the worst thing ever, please remind me to never do this again.” But then you have a baby and you love that baby and you have this child and you think, “I should do that again.”

And even though you kind of know being pregnant is hard, you sort of block out how terrible it is. So I think that’s a beautiful thing. I think maybe Heavenly Father designed us that way intentionally. But my point is that our brains sort of block out the rejection part and we think that, “That happened for that guy, that must have been so nice.”

But guess what – it doesn’t just happen. You make it happen. So sometimes, you guys, in your most kind generousness reach out to me and you say, “Jody, you should teach a class at Education Week at BYU. And I would say, “Yes, I would love to.” But what you don’t know is that I’ve applied to teach at BYU Education Week I think for four years in a row now. And every time, they say, “I’m so sorry but we are not interested in having you teach at BYU Education Week.”

So hopefully one day they’ll let me. I don’t know, I’m going to keep applying, but my point is that you see somebody, they’re teaching at Education Week, and you think, “Oh wouldn’t that be so fun to teach here?” But who knows what they had to go through to get there.

I did get to speak at Women’s Conference this year, but that just wasn’t on accident either. I put it out into the world. I said, “You know what I would really love to do is to speak at Women’s Conference or speak at Time Out for Women.” And I told as many people as I could. I said it on the podcast, I said it in my coaching program, and I said it to enough people that somebody finally said, “Hey, I know somebody on the Women’s Conference Committee. Let me submit your name and see if they think you’re a good fit and let them pray about it and invite you and all of that.”

But I had to kind of make that happen. It doesn’t just happen. It’s not like I just got lucky and tripped on success. Some of you look at me in my business, those of you who are trying to be coaches or that are building a business of some sort and you’re like, “Oh that must be so nice to have that level of success.”  And I’m like, “Yeah, it’s nice, but it’s not like it just happened. I didn’t just trip and fall into the right hole at the right time.”

I created this step by step and I have worked really consistently over and over again at all of the things and made lots of mistakes and been really patient and created this. And I don’t mean to say that in a way like I did this look how amazing I am. I’m just saying I had to make it happen. I had to go after it and go get it. And anything else I want in my future, I’m going to have to make happen. It’s not just going to come and happen to me or happen for me very often.

So I talked about this before on the podcast and I posted on my Instagram stories that I took my kids, a few weeks ago, on this little excursion to go find all the Happy Meal toys so we could put them all together and make the Toy Story 4 RV.

Now, what was interesting to me were some of the questions that came in from you guys as I was posting that. It just kind of reminded me, oh yeah, that’s what our brains do. So for example, I kept getting this question, like, “Well, do you have to buy the Happy Meal? Or can you just buy the toy?” And I was like, “You can just buy the toy.”

So we just tend to think the world just is a certain way. And I get that the Happy Meal thing is like a really trivial thing. I’m just using it as an example, right. Our brains think the world is a certain way, like the way you get a McDonald’s Happy Meal toy is by buying a Happy Meal.  But what if that’s only a part of the way the world works?

What if there’s actually a button on the McDonald’s register that says, “Happy Meal toy, no food.” I think there is. I’m pretty sure there is. Who works at McDonald’s that can verify this for me? Because when I asked for that, that’s how it comes up on the screen Happy Meal toy, no food.

So, what if there are a lot of things available to us in terms of the challenges we’re trying to solve and the goals we’re trying to reach that we’re not even considering because we have these blinders on that say in order to get the toy, you have to buy 10 Happy Meals and that’s a lot of cheeseburgers and a lot of money to spend and so we can’t do that.

You have to be willing to go ask questions and try things out. And by the way, here’s another thing my momma taught me; you don’t take the first no. Like, if you ask an employee, can I buy just the Happy Meal toy without the food and they say no, then you go ask a different employee and you wait until, like, how many people is it, mom? I can’t remember, but she says like get five people to say no before you decide it’s really a no, because somebody might say yes.

So think about this with whatever you’re trying to create in your life. Have you considered that there are ways to achieve your goals that you’re not even thinking about right now because your brain doesn’t realize that they’re options? Like, just be willing to question everything and to know that it’s not just going to happen, you’re going to have to go out and make it happen. That’s number one. I’m just getting warmed up.

Are you ready? Let’s talk about number two. Number two is you have to be willing to try as many times as it takes to figure it out. Okay, try as many times as it takes. How many times are we, like, “Well, how long is it going to take me before this works? Like, if I eat this way and I exercise this way, then how long should I expect before I start losing weight, before I look how I want to look? How long will it take before I won’t feel so much deprivation? How long will it be before I start making money in that business if I do this thing? How long will it take?”

Whenever you’re asking how long will it take, it’s because you’re not willing for it to take as long as necessary, which is going to put you in this frantic sped up place that really doesn’t tend to last very long. So what if you were just willing for it to take as long as necessary and you were willing to have to try as many times as necessary until you figured it out?

Okay, now I’m going to go back to the McDonald’s thing because it was such a great example to me. Here’s what I did is I kind of watched my brain. Because I told my kids, “Let’s go find all the toys.” And if you watched my Instagram stories, I kind of thought – I just made this up in my head, but I decided it was true – that maybe they hadn’t released all the toys yet. Maybe they were releasing them slowly, the Toy Story toys, because I noticed that several of the McDonald’s had kind of the same two to four different ones.

So I thought, there’s these other ones we haven’t seen anywhere.  Maybe they’re not out yet. Now, that’s okay because what it did is it made this situation for my kids and I where we were willing for it to take as long as necessary. We didn’t know if we were going to find all the toys that day. We were okay with not finding them all that day because we didn’t even know if they were all available that day.

So what we told ourselves was, we’re going to go to seven or eight McDonald’s or we’re going to spend this many hours in the car driving around figuring it out, or we’re going to go until we get tired of this today, and then we’ll pick it up again another day. So that really helped us slow down and enjoy the process and it was really exciting when we go to a McDonald’s that had a toy that we didn’t have yet.

And it was still disappointing when we were at one that didn’t have one. But we were like, that’s okay, we’re just out having fun. So we kept going and it turns out we did end up getting them all that day, but we were willing to just keep going as many times as necessary in order to figure it out.

And again, I’ve noticed that in my business, I’m noticing that in my eating journey. I’m just willing to keep going as long as necessary until I figure out how to be as healthy as possible and how to have the healthiest possible relationship with my food.

I really am willing, as many times as necessary, to go for it until you figure it out. Are you feeling that way about your goal, whatever it is that you’re trying to achieve? If you’re dating and you’re trying to find a spouse, are you willing to date as many guys as necessary until you decide to get married? That’s what it takes.

And every guy up until the one that you’re going to marry is going to be a relationship that doesn’t work out. Are you willing to stay in the game? Are you willing to keep going and not tell yourself, “Oh I’m never going to get married, see, this isn’t working.” Of course, it’s not working. It doesn’t work until it works. It doesn’t work until you find that one. That’s the way to get it. Be willing to try as many times as necessary.

Okay, number three, be willing to create your own version of success. In other words, some of you are like, “I just want to be a life coach like Jody Moore.” Which I’m so flattered when you say that. But what you become, your business, or even the kind of life coach that you become or the people that you serve or whatever it looks like is going to be your own version. It has to be your own version or it’s not going to work for you very well.

Trying to be me is never going to work for you as well as you trying to be you. So create your own version. When we try to just mimic what somebody else is doing, that might work for 80% of what you’re doing. You might be able to mimic and learn from somebody that went ahead of you. I’m not saying not to do that. Definitely learn from people that have gone ahead of you.

But there’s that 20% that has to be you, that has to be your touch, the way it works best for you because you’re always going to be better at being you than being someone else. Are you with me? I’m going to give another example that might seem kind of silly.

So, I have naturally curly hair. You guys have probably seen my little girl, Taylor, with her curls. My daughter Macy, her hair has relaxed a little bit right now, but it used to be super curly when she was little. It’s probably going to get curly in the next year or two here as she goes through puberty.

But anyway, people say to me all the time, “Oh my gosh, where did Taylor get those curls?” And the truth is, she got them from me because I have very curly hair and I got it from my mother who has the most amazing curly hair you’ve ever seen.

So, for a good portion of my life, I have resisted that curl and I’ve tried to straighten it and I’ve done all kinds of stuff to try to get my hair smoother and not frizzy and just know how to manage it with the curl. And I think I’ve done a pretty good job. I like my hair.

But recently, for whatever reason, I decided, I’m kind of tired of having to straighten my hair all the time.  Maybe I want to just embrace my natural curls a little bit more. Maybe at least some of the time, I want to figure out how to wear my hair curly.

And it is a whole process, you guys. There is a whole world. Where my curly girls at? You guys know this. There’s a whole world of how to care for your hair, what kinds of products you use, all the way down to, like, you don’t dry it with a towel, you don’t brush it, you don’t wash it other than with certain things. And so anyway, I’ve been kind of diving in the last couple of weeks. I’ve been reading the Curly Girl book by Lorraine Massey and watching people’s YouTube videos and talking to my friends who have awesome curly hair and just getting everybody’s version of how they do their curly hair.

And I love it. I love learning from all these people. But everybody has their own slight take on what works best, right. One person will tell you, oh my gosh, this product is everything, you have to use it.  And the next person will say, you don’t have to use that, use this instead, this works so much better, I used to use that and I found this was so much better.

And one person will say never dry your hair and the other person will say with a diffuser it’s okay. So everybody has a slightly different opinion for you because everybody has slightly different hair. So while 80% to 90% of the techniques might be the same for everyone, there’s that 10% to 20% that is going to have to be unique to you.

And you know what I’m learning? I have to figure that out. I’m trying lots of methods, I’m trying lots of different products. I’m taking people’s opinions and advice but I have to experiment and try it out on my hair to figure out what I like the best and what works best for my hair. It has to be my own version of success.

As much as I wish it were just like, no, do these 10 things and you’re going to love your hair, of course, there is no numbers one through 10 that works for everyone. And that is true not just with your curly hair, my friends. That is true in your marriage. It’s true with how you manage your money. It’s true with your eating plan. It’s true with how you discipline your children, it’s true with how you build a business, how you be a coach, how anything that you’re trying to do – yes, learn from somebody that came ahead of you, but consider that is going to take you, at max, 80% of the way. And then there’s the 20% that you will be the most successful if you lean into it being your version, which means you’re going to have to experiment and try things out and figure it out.

Okay, let’s talk about number four. Number four element to going and getting it so be all in on where you’re at now. So I was thinking about this because I was thinking about The Life Coach School and how much it’s grown and how amazing of a community it is and just what it’s become in the short five years since I went through coach training.

So Brooke Castillo who is the owner of The Life Coach School has just been so on fire and she’s so focused to helping get this work into the world, and to train more coaches, to do more good in the world, that it really has exploded. And I was thinking about those coaches who come to our events because Brooke puts on some events that all certified coaches come to, and I was thinking about how would I feel if I were in their situation.

I didn’t really get to experience what they were experiencing because it’s so much bigger now than it was when I was a brand new coach, where some of these coaches are, and I was thinking about how intimidated I would be by somebody who’s in my situation, which is kind of ironic. So what I mean by my situation is that I’m one of the top performing coaches that’s gone through The Life Coach School and I’m a master coach, and so I have a little bit of leadership there and I get to teach there at the school a little bit.

So I was thinking about this group of us that is in that situation and just knowing myself and knowing in the past, the way I’ve felt in those situations because even though I didn’t experience that at The Life Coach School, I certainly did experience it in other areas of my life, like at my corporate job, and I just know that I tend to be intimidated by people in that situation. People who were “at the top” or the most successful, I think that will probably never be me. I’m not that ambitious, I’m not that good at things.

And I was wondering if we have some coaches there who maybe feel that way. And then I was thinking about again, the irony of that I am in that situation now and how amazing it is and I think the reason why is because I always just was able to own where I was. There wasn’t this big group of successful coaches that we saw all the time when I was starting out and so I never had the thought, oh, I should be there. I should be more successful, or if only I could be but I probably won’t. I never had that.

All I did was own where I was. I was just like hey, I’m a coach, I’m going to go help some people. That’s what we’re trying to do here is help people. That’s what I want to do, and I just always was able to own where I was. I was never looking ahead at where I wished I could be or where I thought I could be. I didn’t have any of that noise to have to clean up. Own where you’re at.

The other example of this that I thought of was when I did work for University of Phoenix, which I worked for that company for about 15 years and it was amazing, but that was a big organization when I came into it, even when I took on the role of an enrollment advisor, which was sort of our sales department and there were definitely a group of enrollment advisors that were always the top performers, that were always the most successful, and in the beginning I was very intimidated by that group.

And when I tried to be that person, when I thought I want to be the one winning those awards, I want to be the best at that, I was able to get some progress that way, but mostly I struggled. Mostly, when I did achieve the progress, I was killing myself to do so. I was really burned out and stressed and overwhelmed.

What worked a lot better for me was when I owned my strengths in that company. When I moved into training and I just owned being the best possible trainer I could be. I stopped telling myself oh, I need to be a director or I need to move up in this way, I just owned like, I love to train people, I’m an excellent teacher, I’m good at coaching people on how to be better at their jobs, and I did that.

And once I excelled at that, I did end up getting promoted. But it was really just going all in on where I was that helped me go to that next level. So I know that feels like sort of counterintuitive with some of the points I’m making here, of you having to create the result, but I just want you to know that you can be striving. I’m not saying stop striving to be the best, stop striving to win the awards and all of that, but at the same time, own where you’re at and be the very best you can be at where you’re at. That is the way to get to the next level. You with me?

Okay, let’s talk about the fifth and final point I want to make today. The fifth and final element to going and getting that result that you want is to remember that it isn’t there to provide you with anything. It is not fun. It is not fulfilling. It is not inspiring. It doesn’t create confidence. It doesn’t work or not work. It isn’t a good investment or not a good investment. It isn’t the right program or not the right program.

Every time we talk about it in that way, we are trying to put the accountability on the program or the process or the thing outside of us. And it never does any of those things. We make it successful. We make it work. We make it fun. We make it fulfilling. We find inspiration. We create money by creating value. We choose to be confident. We are the one that creates our result. That thing outside of you never will.

So I get a lot of people asking me, well, should I go to The Life Coach School or should I try this program or should I read that book that you read or should I do this thing, what do you think? Will it work for me? And any time you’re wondering that, you have to stop and recognize that your brain thinks that it either works or doesn’t work, and that’s not the case. You either make it work or you don’t make it work. That’s it.

You’re the creator of your result every single time. There’s no magic pill, there’s no magic solution, unfortunately. Either you are going to take what you learn and get the most out of it and apply it and run with it and then work with the nuances of making it your own or making it successful, or you’re not.

And you don’t need to beat yourself up when you don’t, by the way. You might just choose not to. You might just choose to go a different route. You might just decide that you’re not interested in that anymore, that you don’t want to do what’s required to achieve that goal and there’s no judgment necessary. You can just decide you don’t want to. Did you know this?

So keep the ownership always. It is not going to create anything for you. You’re always going to create it. Alright you guys, I hope I gave you enough concrete examples to make this really land for you. For those of you in Be Bold, come to Ask Jody with your questions or bring them to our calls. I’ll be happy to help you really apply this on the next level. Otherwise, thanks for joining me. I love you guys. I will see you next week. Take care.

If you have a question about something you’ve heard me talk about on this podcast or anything else going on in your life, I want to invite you to a free public call, Ask Jody Anything. I will teach you the main coaching tool I use with all of my clients and the way to solve any problem in your life, and we will plug in real life examples.

Come to the call and ask me a question anonymously or just listen in. Go to jodymoore.com/askjody and register before you miss it. I’ll see you there.