363. Thriving Post Divorce with Tanya Hale

I’m Jody Moore and this is Better Than Happy, episode 363: Thriving Post Divorce with Tanya Hale.

Did you know that you can live a life that’s even better than happy? My name is Jody Moore. I’m a master certified life coach and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And if you’re willing to go with me I can show you how. Let’s go.

Hey everybody, I am very excited to introduce you to my next guest, Tanya Hale, before I tell you all about her and the amazing tips and strategies you’re going to learn especially if you are a divorced woman. I want to make sure that I’m keeping you up to speed on all things happening here at Jody Moore Coaching because we have so many exciting things we’re offering this year.

The first one is Impact 2.0 which is a conference for entrepreneurs, business builders, heart centered people who want to make an impact in the world. I specifically created this conference for women. I specifically created it around the values that we shared as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, it doesn’t mean you have to be a member of our religion but those are the values that we use to curate the speakers, to curate the feel of the event and what we want you to take away.

We want you to leave inspired, and excited and motivated with tons of ideas about how to grow your business or your project. So that is happening at the end of July in Salt Lake City, the 27^th and 28^th. You won’t want to miss it. Head to jodymoore.com/impact to grab your tickets.

And for all coaches, calling all coaches, I offer a program called the Advanced Certification in Faith Based Coaching. And it’s an opportunity for coaches who are certified at The Life Coach School to come and get tons of practice coaching real clients to get feedback on your coaching. To get advanced tools and to take everything to the next level. So, if you are certified as a coach but you want clients to coach, you want practice and feedback, and you want to advance your coaching skills, this program will be for you.

The doors to enroll in that will be opening on July 12^th, but you’ll want to go learn all the details and get all your questions answered about it ahead of time, which you can do so right now. All the information is available at jodymoore.com/coach. That is a very small intimate group and it sells out very quickly. So, you’ll want to make sure that you’re prepared. If you wait till July 13^th or 14^th odds are the seats will be gone. So just go learn about it now in case you have questions, you can send them in to us and know whether or not it’s something you want to pursue on July 12^th.

Okay, so that said I am so delighted to introduce you all today to Tanya Hale. Tanya is a Life Coach School certified coach who specializes in coaching middle aged, divorced LDS women. And she’s the host of the podcast, Intentional Living. She has four adult children. She teaches middle school, bless your heart, Tanya Hale. And she was married for 24 years before her own divorce six years ago. Tanya is a firm believer that divorce is not evidence of failure but that it is an experience that can provide self-awareness and bring about some of our greatest opportunities for growth.

A midlife divorce is the perfect storm says Tanya, for seeing our faults and weaknesses. Learning to take responsibility for all aspects of our lives and creating a better version of ourselves. So, without further ado, here is my conversation with Miss Tanya Hale.

                                                                                                                   

Jody: Okay, Miss Tanya Hale. So, thank you so much for taking the time to join me today on the podcast.

Tanya: Really happy to be here, thanks, Jody.

Jody: Yeah, you bet. So, tell us a little bit about you first. Let’s give everybody an introduction.

Tanya: I am a mom of four. I have four adult kids. It’s so fun to have them grown up and out of the house. I miss them a lot but it’s fun to see them growing, and doing, and stepping into their own thing.

Jody: Good. I’ve been hearing a lot of people lately say that having adult kids is harder than having teenagers or little kids.

Tanya: I would just say that it’s different. There are definitely some challenges to having adult kids but it’s also a brilliant, amazing space, just like when they’re tiny. When they’re tiny it’s fun and amazing but it’s really hard also.

Jody: It’s 50/50 either way.

Tanya: Right. It’s kind of amazing how that works. So yes, I really love my adult kids. I mean we all love our kids but I think it’s fun to have adult kids as well. I have been a middle school teacher for a lot of years. And I am just moving out of that and moving into coaching full-time which has been a really fun experience for me to get to that point as well.

Jody: That’s exciting.

Tanya: I coach mostly divorced LDS women. And so, I’ve been divorced for six and a half years and worked through that process. And part of that process is that I found coaching and have been able to move into my own healing process from the divorce through the coaching. And that’s what I love to help other women and men do as well, is to process through the divorce and all the social expectations around it and the thoughts around divorce. And how do we manage ourselves in there and what do we do? And what about our children? And what about ourselves?

Answering those questions. Who am I now that I’ve been married 24 years and who I am being single again? There’s just so many questions and so much that we can work through. And we all have a different experience working through it.

Jody: It’s such a powerful and important space, I love that you’re doing that work. That’s why I wanted to bring you on today. And of course, divorce can be challenging no matter what our background or life experience. But there are some things specific to the LDS culture, some nuances around sort of like you said, the social expectations and everything that I was really excited to have you dive into as a lot of our listeners are members of that faith.

So, let’s just dive right in. What do you think are some of the biggest challenges for – well, let’s talk about women, obviously a lot of this is going to apply to men but I know you specialize in women. What are some of the biggest challenges that your clients are facing as they go through a divorce?

Tanya: I think there’s several. I think one is that piece that I kind of touched on is this piece of okay, so now who am I? And then for me, like I said, married 24 years. I got out and I’m like, I haven’t been single since I was in my 20s. And now I’m in my late 40s, and how do, you know, who am I at this point? Now that I’m single and not married, how does that feel? And there can be a lot of struggle for us there. Thinking that, am I a horrible person because I’ve gotten divorced? Is there something wrong with me?

Am I lovable? Am I capable of love? Those are a lot of the questions that a lot of us have just that piece of trying to figure out who we are. I think we also – it’s so easy when you get divorced to point fingers, especially at your ex-spouse and to blame a lot. And as long as we are in that space of blame, we just cannot start to heal. Because if I’m blaming somebody, I’m putting myself in a victim mentality. And if I’m a victim then there’s always a villain which would be the person that I’m blaming.

And as long as I’m in that space of disempowerment, I cannot step into moving forward. I got divorced because the life was not functional for me. And yet we oftentimes get out of that dysfunctional and we stay in dysfunction because we don’t understand how to stop blaming and how to start taking responsibility. So, I work with them in a lot of different areas of taking responsibility. I think we also struggle with societal expectations and the shame around divorce.

Jody: Yeah. So, before we go onto that, I want to dive a little deeper into what you’re talking about here because I think it’s so important. So, I hear what you’re saying about this, if I’m blaming my ex or anyone else outside of me then it leaves us powerless in that victim space. What do you say to a client though who’s like, “But Tanya, you don’t understand, my husband had an affair and he’s the one that decided to end this marriage, this is his fault? It weren’t for his choices I wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Tanya: Well, I’m going to talk about responsibility in two different areas. One is our past responsibility that we can look at. And I don’t care if the husband has an affair. We all have some responsibility for how things go down in a marriage. And maybe he did carry the lion’s share of the weight here. But it still is so, so valuable that we look at ourselves and that we see, how did I not show up the spouse that I wanted to be. And that we start recognizing our patterns of behavior that were dysfunctional and that were hurtful.

And because then I can know how to move forward. So, I think it’s just really valuable that – I mean we do need to acknowledge that, yes, our spouse may have his percentage of what he was [inaudible], I don’t know if you can divide it up into percentages. But he brought things and I brought things as well. And there’s a reason that things break down and just being able to really take a good look at ourselves and notice that so that we can know where we want to start making some adjustments in our own lives.

Where do I want to start nudging my own behavior into showing up more of the kind of person that I want to be? And then there is also this space of responsibility for now. If I keep blaming my spouse I am stuck because I don’t have any control over his behavior. And it’s only when I step into really taking a 100% responsibility for my behavior that I can start moving forward. In fact, I was working with a client last night and he just kept spinning and spinning on this story of she did this, and she did this, and she did this.

And I was like, “Okay, so now I want you to retell the story and leave her out of it. And don’t talk about how she’s doing this but tell the story without her.” And as he started getting in to telling his story it was brilliant the amount of empowerment that he felt. And how he just was like, “Well, I guess now I can start doing this and I can start doing this.” And he actually ended up not just feeling good for now but he actually ended up with a plan of I can do this in the future. And what if I move into this job and start doing this?

And so, it moved him out of a place of being a victim to her behavior and falling prey to that to being able to step up and say, “Okay, so now this is what I want to do, regardless of what she’s doing. I can move into this phase of taking responsibility for where I’m going and how I’m growing, and what I’m doing.” And it was such a powerful experience.

Jody: Yeah. And I think that’s key what you’re saying. I think sometimes when we say, “You’ve got to take responsibility, you’ve got to take a look at yourself, you’ve got to stop blaming other people.” I think it gets misinterpreted sometimes as saying, for example, I’ll just use the example I gave earlier. If it’s, well, my spouse had an affair and chose to leave the marriage. People think we’re saying, you should take some responsibility for your spouse’s behavior. Maybe if you had been a better wife or had been more, or this is what our brains do too.

If I was more attractive, if I was better then he wouldn’t have done that. That’s not what we’re saying at all. You’re not responsible for other people’s behavior. You’re not responsible even for other people’s unhappiness. You’re responsible for your experience and that doesn’t mean that anything’s gone wrong if your experience has been painful. It’s just simply like you said, I love what you said about take responsibility for your present experience especially because we continue to punish ourselves as we replay stories from the past.

Things that are about our judgments of others, or of ourselves. And when you recognize that each of us is more powerful in our current experience than we tend to realize. We tend to give so much power, even ownership to things outside of us. And I just posted something on Instagram actually, it was a quote from Elder Bednar, that says, to be offended is a choice. And I have a lot of comments on there saying, “I disagree. People offend us and to say that is to minimize the mistreatment that people sometimes offer one another.”

And it’s almost like we fight for this painful story of I’m not responsible for how I feel. And what we’re not saying is that we should tolerate mistreatment. That’s not what we’re saying at all. But what we’re saying is, isn’t it the best news ever that you get to choose your feelings? And you won’t always do it consciously, none of us will. But in moments when we choose to we can slow down and create the experience we want no matter what’s happening outside of us.

And that is the best news. I think that’s the best news. And it’s fascinating that people want to argue with it. They want to argue for disempowerment and pain. It’s interesting, yeah.

Tanya: Yeah. And I love being able to move into the space of helping them. Yeah, we’re not saying, put up with mistreatment. I mean I think that’s one reason why a lot of people end up getting divorced, because there is a lot of mistreatment. But then we move into this next space of what, then I’m mistreating myself because I’m not allowing myself to move into that next best phase that I want to move into. Because I keep drawing this person into my story and I keep letting them have power over me.

And so, I say, “Listen, you can do your stuff over here. I’m going to do my stuff over here. This is what I want to do for me and how I want to create my life.” And that’s where the empowerment comes from. And as long as we keep letting that person into our story we are disempowered. And so, I love the visual of take this person who’s currently a main character in your story, let’s just move them off to the side. And maybe they’re not in your story at all or maybe they’re just a minor character over there.

But I get to create and write the story that I want right here in front of me. And they don’t have to have that power and that control over the plot of my story of what I create.

Jody: That’s such a beautiful way to think about it. If you have kids together, they’re probably going to have a small role in your story. But they don’t have to be one of the main characters. And then we move into that uncomfortable space like you said before of how do I identify myself? And it is fascinating how much of our identity we tend to get from our relationships, especially our familial relationships which actually doesn’t make us who we are but we think that it does. We create our identity around it.

So, I would imagine that that’s an uncomfortable space to be in. We take the villain out of the story and now there’s just a big hole in the story.

Tanya: And I think it’s hard for us on a personal level just because we’re having to revisit ourselves and get to know ourselves in a completely different way that we haven’t before and so is everybody else. Everybody in our lives is having to learn how to adjust to us now not showing up with a spouse or whatever. And I know that I have friends who would say, “Well, we’re going to go out to dinner but”, and I wasn’t invited because I wasn’t a couple. And they think that I’m going to be uncomfortable as a single person going to dinner with two or three other couples.

And I’m like, “Listen, that doesn’t bother me at all. Let that be my choice, what I want to do.” But it’s interesting that other people also have this idea that, well, we don’t know who you are. We don’t know how to engage with you as a single person. And so, I think sometimes that can feel a little bit lonely when we get divorced and when we are single again after being in these couples where we all go out and do things.

Jody: What do you recommend to your clients to do in that situation? Is there anything both for the person who’s gone through the divorce and then also friends of somebody going through a divorce? How do we help navigate that and make it a little bit less awkward?

Tanya: Yeah. Well, I think first of all people are really uncomfortable talking about divorce. I think a lot of people feel like they have to pick sides. Like if my couple friend are getting divorced, I have to choose which one I’m going to align with. And I wish it was easier for us not to do that. I wish we could see that that doesn’t necessarily have to happen. I would say as a friend of someone who gets divorced, let it be their choice whether they want to come by themselves or whether they don’t. There are a lot of times where…

Jody: Keep inviting them?

Tanya: Keep inviting them, you and your spouse and another couple are going out to dinner, invite your single friends. And just say, “Hey, we’re going.” And let it be my choice and don’t assume that I’m going to feel uncomfortable because I don’t have a spouse there. And so, I think that’s important. For me as an individual, I think it’s important for me to take responsibility for that and say, “Listen, I get that people don’t know how to respond to me anymore. I get that people are uncomfortable, that’s okay.”

But I can step into my own comfort. I can have my own back here. And if I am comfortable with who I am as a single person then it’s amazing to me how other people are much more comfortable with me being who I am. When I am always insecure and waffling and, “Well, I don’t know”, people don’t know how to respond to that. But when I step up and I say, “Look, here I am. I’m here at church, I’m sitting on the back pew by myself. I’m going to talk to people. I’m going to engage in conversations with people.” I’m going to invite my friends over to my house for dinner.

Or I’m going to be the one who plans the night out with friends and I invite all couples and I show up by me, I have complete control over that. I get to choose my experience. And if I stand around and wait for other people to choose my experience for me I’m going to be sorely disappointed because they’re not going to choose what I want.

Jody: That’s good advice for everyone. If you want to be invited tell them, “Hey, when you go out to eat I still want to come with you. Don’t forget to invite me.” I tell people all the time, “Don’t forget to invite me, I want to come.” Sometimes they don’t invite me but I’m doing my part. I love that.

Tanya: Well, that’s all we can do is step up into saying, “Listen, this is what I want and I’m going to ask for it.”

Jody: That’s right, that’s right. That’s beautiful. So can we talk for a minute about the fact that in our church we value families so much. And everything is centered around the family and it’s easy to go to church and look around and think everybody’s family is perfect but your own. And everybody’s marriage is happy except your own. And I would imagine that’s got to be a difficult part of divorce is navigating. Even I’ve watched some of my family and friends going through divorce and it’s like time to send out the Christmas card.

And do I send a picture with just me and my kids and is that going to – now I’m going to have to answer a bunch of questions? And I just feel like there’s so many little rituals that are beautiful things that we do but could be challenging as you’re going through divorce.

Tanya: Yeah, absolutely, I think there are. There’s still a lot of shame associated with divorce even as prevalent as it is in our society. Over half of marriages end up in divorce these days. And 67% of second marriages end up in divorce. I mean there’s a lot of divorce in our society and it’s amazing that there’s still so much shame associated with it, like you did something wrong. And I know that it’s not always the case but a lot of times it feels like it when you’re the single person. And you have a lot of those same questions regarding yourself.

And yeah, we are in a society within our church culture that says families are forever. We’re supposed to make this work. And then when we don’t we do feel shame, like I’m doing something wrong, am I not righteous enough? Am I not good enough? And for me as I work through this process myself in really coming to terms with who am I going to be when I’m divorced and what does that mean? Does that mean that I’m a bad person? Does it mean I’m unrighteous? Does it mean that I’m mean? And having to work through all of that for myself.

When I stepped into the power of, listen, this was the best choice for me, and I like my reasons for being where I am. And when I stepped into that space of empowerment, it really helped to soften the blow when other people didn’t understand that. And the thing is we have no idea what people are going through in their marriages. I actually just the other day had somebody say, “I love this couple, they’re so great and they’re so strong. They’re one of the best couples I know.” And in my head I’m thinking, yeah, I’ve done some coaching there. It’s a tough, tough place.

Jody: Yeah, there’s some things, I just think everybody has things that we don’t know about it and nor do we need to know. But no marriage is perfect. I’m sorry, it doesn’t matter what it looks like on Sunday in your church clothes. Everybody has issues to work through.

Tanya: And more than we would think which is, you know what? It’s not even our place to even stand back and start making those judgment calls. And it’s so easy to do. And it’s kind of what our brain likes to do. It likes to go into this place of judgment and trying to figure things out and creating stories for all the people that we see. And yet the more that we can stand back and just say, “You know what, I’m going to take care of me right here and if somebody’s getting divorced, I’m going to choose to show up as compassionate, and kind, and loving as I can.”

And I’m not going to try and figure out why they’re getting divorced. I’m not going to try and figure out whose fault it is because that’s none of my business. What is my business is how I show up. Am I supportive, and loving, and kind, and non-judgmental? And I love that when I take that piece on, that my experience working with other people who are struggling in their marriages and maybe moving toward divorce, it totally changes my experience with them. And it changes their experience as well to have someone who’s not being all judgy and trying to figure out who’s at fault.

Jody: Yeah, that’s right. Tanya, how do you think about the story of your marriage? I’m just curious, I feel like we have this opportunity and this is something that you and I learn through our coach training. But we can think about the past in any way we want and we can tell the story at least in our minds any way we choose to. And that it’s powerful, I think in a situation like this to consciously choose how you tell that story to yourself. And I feel like with divorce a lot of people aren’t consciously choosing it.

They think they’re just telling me what happened like my marriage failed, for example, is what a lot of people will say, or he left me, or something like that. And I think there’s an opportunity to consciously choose how you’re going to tell that story. And I’m curious if you’ve done that work or how you think about your situation?

Tanya: Yeah, I’ve absolutely done that work.

Jody: I figured you had.

Tanya: I don’t know how we can come out the other side of this a stronger, better person without doing that work. Because before I do that work I’m powerless. And it’s when I do that work of telling the story that I want to tell. I can look back and I, yeah, could I bring out all the tough things, and all the struggles, and all the fights? Absolutely I could. But can I also come up with the lessons learned? Absolutely I can do that. Can I talk about why I’m a better person now having gone through that? Absolutely I can.

I can pull out so many lessons and I can say, “How has this experience worked for me?” And I think it’s such a powerful question to start asking myself because it gets me out of that victim mentality that I’m powerless against this divorce that happened. And it puts me in this place that says, “Listen, this was my experience.” And for whatever reason this is my experience. I don’t know why but this is the path that I’ve come through. And so, what I get to do now with this is create what I want to out of it.

And yeah, were there tough things? Absolutely. Are there also amazing things that I’ve been able to learn from that experience? Yeah. I would say that the person that I am now would not have occurred had I not been those through 24 years of a tough marriage because of the lessons that I learned, how to be more independent, how to be strong, how to persevere and be resilient. All those lessons that I learned over those years are now serving me incredibly well.

Jody: However old you were when you got married?

Tanya: I was 23.

Jody: So, if you could talk to your 23 year old self right now right before she’s going to get married, what would you tell her?

Tanya: Such a good question. I don’t know that I would tell her to not get married. I think that I would say, “Okay girl, buckle up. It’s going to be tough but you’re going to come out the other side of this so much better. You’re going to have some tough stuff, but girlfriend, this is an amazing opportunity for you to become the person that you need to become and to learn the lessons that you need to become.” And at this stage in my life in my 50s, I am in the best place in my life. I am so happy with the person that I am and find so much satisfaction in the path that I’m on.

And I would not be on this path without that path. And honestly, I think that had I been married to someone who was where we just had this amazing loving, kind, beautiful kind of relationship, I don’t think I would be as strong as I am. I don’t think that I would be building a business. I don’t think that I would be – I know I wouldn’t be doing any of the things that I’m doing in my life right now that I feel so called and driven to do. So yeah, I would just tell her, “Buckle up girl, it’s going to be a ride but you’re going to get off at the end and you’re just going to be so grateful for the person that you are when you get off.”

Jody: I just don’t see any upside to regretting, I mean regret is a natural thing that we all do to a certain extent. But that marriage, no marriage is a failure, no relationship is a failure. Relationships just get to a point sometimes where they’re complete. Some relationships are meant to last for eternity but some are not. Some are meant to complete themselves at least in the version, in the form that we know them.

Because we can’t go change the past, I would encourage anyone in a situation whether it be divorce or anything else that you’re looking back on your past thinking, if I would have made a different choice I might be in a different place, to get to the place that Tanya just described of, listen, buckle up. It’s going to be quite a ride but you can do it. You’re going to be so glad when you get to the other side because of the person you’ll become. I mean that’s the way of it, right?

Tanya: Right. Regardless of whether it’s divorce, or whether it’s death, or whether it’s children making really tough decisions, I mean regardless of what the ride is, it gives us the opportunity to become the next best version of ourselves.

Jody: Yeah. I always wish, I’m like, why can’t we just read a book and become the next version of us? I could listen to a podcast and become a better version of me. But nothing does it like that real life experience, that’s challenging and painful.

Tanya: Right. I think it’s because we get our emotions in it. And the emotions are what create the impetus for change.

Jody: That’s right, that’s right. You’re right. And emotions do it in a way that we don’t even – I just feel myself changing and I can’t even describe why or what’s going on, which is kind of cool. So, Tanya, before we tell people where they can find you and get more help and every resources that you have to offer. What advice would you give to somebody who is in the thick of this right now? Maybe they are just recently divorced or maybe it’s not recent but maybe – I’ve coached clients who it’s been years and years and they just still feel stuck and can’t move forward.

What do you think is the best piece of advice that you could give somebody just to get them pointed in the right direction?

Tanya: I think one of the first and best steps we can take is learning to be compassionate for ourselves, to ourselves and realizing that, you know what? Did I make some mistakes? Absolutely I made some mistakes. But that’s part of my human experience. I’m never going to do it right all the time. And that’s okay. That’s part of what I’m here on Earth to do, is to make mistakes and to learn from them, and to grow from them, and I think a lot of times when we hold onto it and then why we get stuck is because we refuse to accept that we made mistakes and that we’re in this place.

And I think when we can really learn to be loving, and kind, and compassionate to ourselves knowing that, you know what? I get the best I knew how. I don’t know anybody who had one struggle in their marriage and was like, “Okay, that’s it, I’m out of here.” So many of the people have really paid the price. I’m 24 years for me of trying everything I knew to make it work. But the thing is I just didn’t have the tools and neither did he. And so regardless of the fact that we were two good people trying everything we knew, we could not figure it out, we couldn’t make it work.

And guess what? That’s okay because at the time I was doing the best I could. And when I can create that space of compassion for me, I think that’s the first step, this grace that I offer myself, the grace that says, “It’s okay. Yes, it was tough, yes it was hard but guess what? God knows that. And He loves you regardless. And He knows that you did the best you could in that situation.” And I think when we step into that compassion, that’s the first step to starting to create space for growth and understanding.

Jody: That’s beautiful, I love that. And you’ve talked about shame quite a bit, you’ve talked about blame quite a bit. I always think of shame and blame as twins, they just go together. It’s just our brains looping on whose fault is this that something’s gone wrong, is it his fault? Is it my fault? It’s him because of all these things. Actually, it could be me also because of all these things. Underneath shame and blame lies the truth which is actually nothing’s gone wrong at all. We’re just human beings having messy experiences and learning and growing.

And some marriages aren’t meant to be forever. So, we can stop looking for blame or shame when we realize sometimes that’s the way of it. Sometimes that’s the journey, is to be with someone for 24 years, and then realize that the path is meant to change now. So, I love that.

Tanya: And that was part of my experience when I was making that decision, do I get divorced, do I not? Was I was listening to an LDS psychologist and he made a comment like that. He said, “Maybe the reason, maybe you did feel guided and directed by God to get married. But maybe God knew that only in this marriage could you become the person that you needed to become. And that it’s okay now that you’re getting divorced because God knew it wouldn’t be a forever marriage.”

And that’s probably not true for everybody. But I know for me at that point I received such a strong spiritual conviction that, oh, I think that that’s mine. That was from here. And that’s when I realized that you know what, it’s okay to get divorced because maybe God knew that mine was not going to last forever. But that that was my path to becoming the person that I needed to become.

Jody: That’s beautiful.

Tanya: And I think that that’s how it is for a lot of us. And I think sometimes our relationships do complete themselves. I’ve learned what God needs me to learn here and now there’s something else, another place for me to start learning what I need to and to step into that next best version of me.

Jody: Esther Perel talks about this, I don’t know if you’ve listened to her at all. But she talks about also it’s such, like you said, it’s such a complicated subject. None of us could know what’s right for anyone else. We have to be spiritual and aligned with how the spirit’s guiding us. But Esther Perel talks about that staying is one of the new shames. It used to be if you get divorced that’s very shameful and that still exists in some people’s minds.

But also, you may be in a marriage where again a spouse has been unfaithful or something else has gone on and you might want to stay in that marriage. And sometimes people are offering shame around that, how could you stay with someone who cheated on you? So, I think what you’re saying is really important that we have to find those answers within us and align with the spirit or whatever we happen to believe in. That’s the only way that you find your path. So, I love that.

Alright, Tanya, well, gosh, I so appreciate your sharing your story and your message, and the work that you’re doing as a coach. It’s such an important space that you work in. How can people find you and get more help from you?

Tanya: Alright, I’ve got a couple of options. I do have a podcast, it’s called The Intentional Living with Tanya Hale. And that’s going to be anywhere you listen to your podcasts. My website is tanyahale.com. And I’m also on Facebook and Instagram under Tanya Hale LDS Life Coaching.

Jody: Okay, perfect. Easy to find then. Everyone go check out Tanya and all the great things she’s doing. And so fun having you in Business Minded, how’s that going for you?

Tanya: You know what? It’s moved me into a space of action that I did not enter before. And so, it’s been such a great, great experience for me to put a lot of tools into action and to start creating more of what I want to create because this is my joy. I love this space of being able to help people find the peace and the direction that they’re looking for.

Jody: So great, I’m glad to hear that because I want to see you take action. I want to see your work get out there to all the people that need it.

Tanya: Yeah, and a lot of us need it.

Jody: Yes, so many of us need it.

Tanya: Alright.

Jody: Alright, Tanya, thank you so much.

Tanya: Thank you, Jody, it’s been a pleasure.

                                                                                                                   

Hey there, if you enjoy this podcast or even if you just find that it sort of piques your curiosity, or it makes you think, you’re going to love the book that I wrote. It’s called Better Than Happy: Connecting with Divinity Through Conscious Thinking. And it’s available now at Amazon in print or kindle version. Or if you want me to read it to you, head over to audible and grab the audio version. And why not grab a copy for your sister, your best friend, or your mom while you’re there too. Just saying.