213. Tight Like Unto a Dish

I’m Jody Moore and this is Better Than Happy, episode 213, Tight Like Unto a Dish.

This podcast is for people who know that living an extraordinary life is not easy or comfortable. It’s so much better than that. This is Better Than Happy, and I’m your host, Jody Moore.

What’s happening? Are you going to come hang out with me at Thanksgiving Point? We’re going to spend a whole day. I’m going to teach you, but mostly, I’m going to coach you, or I’m going to coach somebody who’s there with you. If you’re too shy to be coached, that’s okay, there’s always lots of people who want to get coached. So, come and check it out. Go to live events at jodymoore.com and get your ticket. But you’ve got to hurry because they’re almost gone.

So, I am going to get a little bit doctrinal on you today, but just a little bit. Don’t worry, this isn’t like church – not that there’s anything wrong with church, but maybe you get enough church. I’m with you. Don’t worry.

I just want to use this Book of Mormon story to illustrate something that I teach in coaching all the time because I love the way it’s taught in the Book of Mormon. So, for those of you who are not members of my church and you haven’t read this story in the Book of Mormon, you might feel a little bit lost in this episode, I won’t lie, so I apologize.

I love you. I’m not trying to confuse you. And in fact, if you want to read it, I highly recommend you go to the app store and search for the LDS Library app. And you can just download a copy of the Book of Mormon right there on your phone. You don’t even have to read it. There’s an audio version and some really cool people will just read it to you.

But this particular story from the Book of Mormon is in the book of Ether and it gives me some of the thoughts that provide me the absolute most peace in my life, that have been so comforting to me.

Okay, so as you guys know, thoughts create our feelings. And thoughts have to be believable to you and create the right emotion to really be effective. So we’re always testing out thoughts when I’m coaching you guys. We’re putting them in models. We’re testing out, is that the right thought for you? And there’s no right thoughts or better thoughts than others. It depends on the situation.

But these particular thoughts from this story in the Book of Mormon with Brother of Jared really have been so powerful to me in my life. Now, if you download the Book of Mormon and you read this story in Ether 2 and you’re still confused, just look for some Mormon missionaries. They’ll be the young men or young ladies walking around with black nametags on in your neighborhood and they’ll take care of you.

So, here’s what I want to teach you is the main message that I like to focus on this Brother of Jared story in Ether 2 in the Book of Mormon is that there is nothing to fear. There is nothing to fear. There is a safety net.

Now, I know that people used to say, “Don’t worry, the Lord will never give you anything that you can’t handle,” which is a kind of comforting thought except that then somebody else I heard come along say, “No that’s actually not true. He’s going to give you plenty of things you can’t handle because that’s what the atonement is for, to make up for the parts that you can’t handle on your own.”

So I don’t know if that’s a useful thought for you or not, but I do think the thought we have nothing to worry about, there ultimately is nothing to fear. Like, worry is just a waste of your imagination and fear is not necessary is true, and I’m going to show you why in this story. And I just want to offer to you that it’s a thought that you could choose to think any time you want to.

Now, you may be asking, how could that be true, because people experience some really horrible things in this life. Have you noticed? People are dealing with mental illness and abuse and other kinds of physical illnesses and diseases and suffering and neglect and hunger. I mean, there’s some pretty crazy terrible things that people have to experience in this life.

And even in what we would say is a really ideal life, maybe even a really easy simple life, there’s still a lot of really hard stuff that people have to experience, right? There’s anxiety and depression in greater quantities than we’ve probably ever seen before. There’s low self-esteem and loneliness and rejection and heartache and sadness. And this is in a pretty ideal ordinary life, right?

My mom tells this story about my younger brother Ben. I want to say he was about seven or eight years old and Ben loves basketball. He especially loved basketball when he was a young boy. And he was okay at basketball, but he wasn’t especially good at basketball because, as my parents like to remind us, Lyman’s are not super athletic naturally.

But he played basketball nonetheless and the team he was on at this point, as a young boy, started to get more competitive and Ben didn’t get a lot of play time because he wasn’t that good at basketball. And he always wanted more play time and he tried really hard and he went to all the practices and he really, really wanted to be good at basketball.

And one time, the coach said to my mother, “Hey, there’s a kid on our team who’s injured and not going to be able to play this week, and so Ben is going to get quite a bit of play time. So make sure that he practices and he’s ready to go.”

So, my mom tells my little brother this news. Ben is super excited. He practices extra hard, he suits up for the game, and sits on the bench ready to go. And the coach doesn’t put Ben in for a very long time. As the game continues on and the clock counts down and Ben sits on the bench looking to be called in and the coach doesn’t call him in, you can only imagine what’s happening in Ben’s mind and Ben’s heart.  And as you can imagine, the pain is even greater, probably, for my mother watching her son not get called into the game.

So, life is tough, right? We have to go through some hard things even on a good day, even in a great life where you get to play basketball and you have loving parents and a coach. There’s still a lot of heartache and sadness that we experience in this life.

But what we know, according to this scripture in the Book of Mormon, is that we have nothing to fear. And the reason why is because our ship is tight like unto a dish. So by way of background, in this story in the Book of Mormon, we learn about the Brother of Jared who was told to build barges to sail to the Americas.

And this story is actually most well-known for some of the other parts. It’s more well known for the part where the Brother of Jared says, “Hey how are we going to be able to see? It’s going to be pitch dark. And how are we going to be able to breathe because there’s not going to be any air getting into these barges?”

And the Lord solves the air problem for him. He tells him, put a hole in the top, let some air in, and when it gets too rough out on the ocean and water starts coming in, plug up the hole so you don’t drown. But he lets the brother of Jared figure out the light problem, which is a whole other story. But that’s not the part I want to focus on today.

I want to focus on this part where we hear a description of these ships that the Brother of Jared will be sailing in. It says, “And they were built after a manner that they were exceedingly tight, even that they would hold water like unto a dish. And the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish, and the sides thereof were tight like unto a dish, and the ends thereof were peaked, and the top thereof was tight like unto a dish. And the length thereof was the length of the tree. And the door thereof, when it was shut, was tight like unto a dish.”

To, I think that the Lord was trying to make a point here that these ships are tight like unto a dish. I think it’s an important point if you notice how many times it’s repeated in that one verse.

And the point of these ships being tight like unto a dish is that they are not going to sink. They’re not going to fill up with water, and they’re not going to drown on this trip that they’re about to take.

The next thought that I carry with me that I take from this story is the idea that I am the perfect one for this challenge. It’s not always a thought I want to adopt. My brain wants to reject challenges. It wants to reject difficult situations and say, let’s change this right away, let’s make this easier. Let’s get rid of this problem.

But when I look at this story in the Book of Mormon, I’m reminded that maybe I’m the perfect one. In verse 25 of Ether 2, it says, “And behold, I prepare you against these things for you cannot cross this great deep. Save I prepare you against the waves of the sea and the winds which have gone forth and the floods which shall come. Therefore, what will ye that I should prepare for you that you may have light when you are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?”

So this is the lord asking the Brother of Jared what do you want me to do? But he uses the word prepare several times in this verse. And when I’m in the midst of a great trial, I like to remind myself that the Lord has prepared me for this. Or, going through this trial is preparing me in some way for some part of my future.

This is especially helpful for me when I see my kids struggle. When I think about that their tough experiences for kids are preparing them for tough experiences that they will have as adults. It helps me not just need to swoop in and clear the path for them, but to allow them to struggle to be prepared.

Perhaps my little brother Ben needed to have his heart broken in that basketball game to prepare him to become who he is today.  I don’t know. Or perhaps he had been prepared in some way to deal with that challenge.

The third thought that I take from this story that I love is that everything that’s happening, even all of the difficult part, is supposed to be happening. Of course it’s supposed to be happening, it’s part of the plan. It’s part of our journey.

And I don’t mean that the Lord is orchestrating everything that happens and everything that we do. I don’t believe that. I believe that we have agency that influences a lot of it. But I do believe that we’re supposed to have challenges and so are the people around us. And people are supposed to misbehave, right?

Because it says in Ether 2 chapter 24, as the Lord is talking to the Brother of Jared about his journey, he says, “For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst the sea for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth and also the rains and the floods have I sent.”

So, the Lord says you’re totally going to get tossed about out there. You’re going to be like a whale tossed about in the ocean. It’s going to be windy and it’s going to be rough. But he says, “Nevertheless, I shall bring thee up.”

So what is the wind and the waves in our life? All kinds of things, right?  Like, maybe it’s a result of our own agency that we’re using in a way that doesn’t serve us.  Maybe it’s a result of other people’s agency. Maybe it’s nobody’s doing intentionally, it’s just an unfortunate accident or a law of nature or some other unknown causes. Or maybe in some cases, the hands of God.

But what we know is supposed to happen is that we’re supposed to be tossed about and the winds are supposed to blow and it’s supposed to be a stormy ride. So when my kids are struggling, I still offer them comfort and support and try to help them, but I keep myself calm by remembering it’s supposed to be stormy like this, remember.

Like, I can’t tell you how many women and men I coach who say, “But my child shouldn’t lie to me.” And I say, “Really? Maybe he should because he is.’ My teenager shouldn’t be vaping, or maybe they should. I shouldn’t have these problems or challenges or weaknesses that I have, is what our brains try to tell us.

Like, my life shouldn’t be going this direction. My daughter shouldn’t be hating me. My son shouldn’t be scared. My husband shouldn’t be looking at pornography or leaving the church or having an affair. And what I say is, “So there shouldn’t be wind, is that what we’re saying? It should just be sunny skies and smooth sailing. What would be wrong with that?” Well, what we know is it’s actually not supposed to be like that. It’s supposed to be a rocky stormy ride.

Notice, in this scripture, that the Lord doesn’t even entertain the idea of it not being windy. He’s like, no, you’re totally going to get tossed about. There is going to be wind.  There will be wind, so now what?

I’m not saying that this isn’t challenging. I’m not saying that you’re not going to want to experience some clean pain over the challenges in your life. But instead of arguing with that part, let’s just start seeking solutions. Let’s decide, hey, we don’t have air, what are we going to do? We don’t have light, what are we going to do? See what you can get the Lord’s help with, find out the parameters that you have to work with and then start focusing on solutions.

So, I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel the Lord solving for my challenges for me. I feel him guiding me. I felt this way when I found coaching. I felt like he led me to this work, he led me to the model, he led me through my corporate sales training job where I wasn’t even necessarily actively seeking these tools, I was just tossing about in a stormy sea and the Lord led me to these solutions.

Some of you tell me you feel that way when you find this work too. And then there are other things that we’re asked to take more ownership in. And the Lord might let us struggle a little bit more with, although he will help us and we can recruit his help. But he’s not going to take away the agency of others, even if we try to pray it away, that doesn’t work. That’s not working within the parameters that the Lord has, right?

And we don’t always get to choose the timeline of things. The Lord asks us to get to peace and faith first before he blesses us. And we want it to be the other way around. We’re like, “Hey, can you bless me and take care of me so that I can have faith and be peaceful?” And he says no, it’s got to be feelings first. You’ve got to feel peaceful and have faith first, and then I can bless you.

But here’s the thing, the Lord will help you. He can comfort and guide and carry you. You’re not alone. He’ll touch the rocks to give them light like he does for the Brother of Jared. And best of all, what I want you to remember is that your ship is tight like unto a dish. You will not sink. And the Lord will pull you up again out of the ocean and you will be fine.

These are the thoughts I love that I take from this story. I hope this has been impactful for you. I get so many requests from you guys saying, “You keep talking about how you see the model in the scriptures, could you show us where?” So that is one example of where.

I know this was a kind of doctrinally heavy podcast. Some of you are going to love it, some of you are not. I’m good with all of it. I’ll be back next week with another episode and I’ll see you then, take care.

If you have a question about something you’ve heard me talk about on this podcast or anything else going on in your life, I want to invite you to a free public call, Ask Jody Anything. I will teach you the main coaching tool I use with all of my clients and the way to solve any problem in your life, and we will plug in real life examples.

Come to the call and ask me a question anonymously or just listen in. Go to jodymoore.com/askjody and register before you miss it. I’ll see you there.