Entre-Talk: You and Your Dream

I’m Jody Moore and this is Better Than Happy, Entre-Talk: You and Your Dream.

Did you know that you can live a life that’s even better than happy? My name is Jody Moore. I’m a master-certified life coach and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And if you’re willing to go with me I can show you how. Let’s go.

Hey there friends, I want to give away all my best secrets and that is why I created a free training. If you are a coach or have a similar type of business or want to start a similar business and you’re thinking, I just don’t even know how to get started. How do I get clients? How do we build a coaching business? I know how to do it because I did it myself. I started from nothing. I knew nothing about how to be an entrepreneur. I knew nothing about online marketing.

I did know a few things I picked up from my corporate job but most of those skills did not transfer over into being an entrepreneur. And from there I have been able to build a multiple seven-figure business. And if I can do it, I promise, you can do it. So head to jodysfreetraining.com and grab my free training.

Alright, everybody listen up. I want to talk to you today about your dream, I like to call it a dream, maybe you like to call it a goal, whatever. I want to talk to you about the place you’re trying to get to, the castle on the hill. What is the place? Now, I’m not talking about the little specific measurable smart goal-type tasks that you might give yourself. If you want to set smart goals, great, do it. Smart goals are a great way to get yourself to implement a new habit and to follow through on the things that you want to be doing and that might be in your personal life or in your business.

So for those of you that aren’t familiar with smart goals, specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. So those would be things like I’m going to post on Instagram once a day, five days a week for the next year. That would be a smart goal, a specific measurable, achievable relevant if posting on Instagram would be relevant to your goals and then time-bound. So you can set goals like that. That’s not what I’m talking about here.

I’m talking about why are we doing that. Why are we posting on Instagram every day? What is the ultimate goal, not just for this year but maybe in the next five years and in the next 10 years, what is your vision of where you’re trying to get to? What is the castle on the hill? And I think it’s okay if you’re not really sure. I think it’s okay if it’s a fuzzy picture. But overall what are you trying to do? You’re trying to make more of an impact? You’re trying to shift?

For me, as a life coach, I was like, “I want to shift a little bit. Whatever I can make an impact with, I want to shift the culture, especially within the LDS church for women who are moms, people who value families and people who are spending a good deal of their life and time to raising children and helping nurture the family. I want to shift their mindsets to a place of more empowerment, less martyrdom, less people-pleasing. That’s the castle on the hill for me.

And then there are different things that come into play in terms of goals or objectives or dreams that I have along the way that I think might help in that regard and maybe that vision will grow. But for me, that’s the castle on the hill. As soon as people are like, “I see the world differently”, the people that I have the most influence over, the people that I talk to in my business. As soon as they start to see themselves and the world differently and we have more confidence and less shame and we have more balance in life then I’m going to feel like I’m doing it, I’m getting to the castle on the hill.

So whatever that dream is, what do you think and feel when you think about that dream? And how often do you think about that dream by the way? Could we make it specific? I’ll tell you, I have a new castle on the hill that I’ve been talking about, I just started talking about which is, I want to have a TV show, maybe it’s a Netflix special or maybe it’s my own show on a network or something.

But I feel like coaching people in person isn’t something I’ve been able to do a whole lot of because my business is virtual and it’s different. I haven’t been able to put my finger on why it’s different. I feel like we get 10x the impact. I feel like it’s more fun for people. I feel like it’s an experience that changes people instead of just a knowing and a little bit less of an experience because this is what I’m wondering. Through Zoom or through a phone or through the computer we don’t get to engage as many of our senses and so we don’t get as rich of an experience of one another.

So it still works fine but it’s just so much more powerful in person. So the best way to get that out to a lot of people is not for me to travel all over and see all these people in person, it’s to work with somebody in person and film it for everybody else to see. That’s what I’m wondering. So anyway I digress. If the castle on the hill for me is having a Netflix special or a TV show or impacting people. Or for you maybe it’s a certain number of clients or customers or revenue or whatever it is. Then I want you to ask yourself what is my relationship like with that dream?

Do I even have a relationship with it? Do I even think about it? Have I ever articulated it out loud? Now, I will say this, I think it’s okay that in the beginning we just keep it to ourselves. That’s what I notice I do a lot, in the beginning, is that I have wanted to have this TV show. My sister, Lindsey knows this. I’ve told her and maybe I’ve mentioned it to my husband or someone. But mostly I just keep it to myself until now. I just said it on the podcast.

But I’ve been keeping it to myself because it’s fragile. It’s like when you start dating someone and you’re like, “I met someone who I think maybe I want to date. We’re sort of flirting or texting”, or however you meet people nowadays. But you don’t run out and tell everyone because it’s a fragile relationship still and you’re not really sure what’s going to come of it. It might just fade away. It might just have been a moment. It might turn into something. At some point, you’ll tell everyone but not right away.

This is the same thing we do with a pregnancy. I’m pregnant but let’s not announce it to the world unless you’re like me and I just tell everyone the moment I’m pregnant. But some people don’t because they know that they want to get to a certain point in the pregnancy at which they feel confident that it’s a healthy viable pregnancy. And then they’ll start telling more people. So your dream may be like that. You may feel like it’s fragile and therefore you want to kind of keep it to yourself and protect it. That is okay.

But still, are you nurturing a healthy relationship with that dream? Are you thinking about it in ways that make you feel excited? Do you intentionally choose how you’re going to think about it? Because if you’re like me and most people then when you think about it all of those family members in your head, I don’t mean literal family, I mean the family in your head.

There is this whole thing in the world of psychology called internal family systems which is that we all have a whole family in our head that are different voices that we’ve developed throughout our lives that try to protect us, try to help us prevent danger or failure or embarrassment etc. Those family members in your head want to shout at you sometimes or at least they want to be heard. They want to say things like, “You know, this may not work. You know people may judge you. You know you’ve never done it before.” And you can’t just ignore the family in your head.

You have to let everyone have their say but ultimately you’re in charge of that family. You make the decisions from your conscious, logical, wiser, calmer brain. You don’t just listen to the little sister that’s scared all the time. So are you having useful conversations in your head with yourself and your dream or do you just let the rowdy family run the show? Don’t let the rowdy scared family run the show. Choose intentionally how you’re going to think about that dream, how you’re going to think about the castle on the hill.

Now, here’s the other thing I like to think about. Remember I said you might keep it secret at least in the beginning? I like to think of it again like it’s sort of a secret lover if you will. We are just enjoying one another. We’re having so much fun together my dream and I and nobody really needs to know about it. It’s nobody else’s business, not like I’m hiding it because it’s bad or wrong, but just it’s no one else’s business. It’s between me and this dream. And we are having a lot of fun.

So I know so many of you, I know this from when I coach you that you are not doing that work. And I’m telling you, doing that work will make all of the rest of it easier. It will make it worth it when you have to sit down and write a bunch of marketing emails that you don’t want to write. It will make it worth it when you have to figure out technology that is overwhelming and you’re stuck and you don’t want to figure it out.

You’re doing it for your dream because you love your dream and because your dream takes good care of you, gives you something to aim for, something to progress towards, something to look forward to. Because you love that dream you’ll be willing to do all kinds of things for that dream. You’ll be willing to sacrifice a lot in the name of loving that dream. So I want you to have a relationship with your dream.

Some people go so far as to even personify their dream. They give it a name. They give it a gender. They decide what it looks like. How does it dress? What is it like? Where does it shop? If you want to do that, do that. I don’t usually take it that far with my dream but you definitely could if that helps you. What is your relationship with your dream? Because here’s the truth. You’re either neglecting that dream if you don’t ever think about it, or you have a very negative relationship with that dream if you have lots of negative thoughts and feelings about it.

So the alternative to those two options is to have a fun, positive, playful, friendly, ideally at some point loving relationship with your dream. What is your dream? What is the castle on the hill? Did you know it could be anything you want? Did you know it doesn’t have to be something that would be noble and contributing in the world? It could just be something that sounds fun to you. It could just be something that you know will stretch you and challenge you and would be kind of cool to experience in your lifetime.

Not everybody wants to have a Netflix special in fact, a lot of people think that sounds terrible. But I am unusual in this way. I’m sure it comes from some of my insecurities and shortcomings that I always want to be on a stage with a mic and in front of the world on TV. I don’t know what that’s about. Probably not healthy. I don’t really care because the way I want to do it is by helping people. So it’s a desire that I don’t think is a wrong desire.

So I let myself have fun thinking about my dream even though I still have the family in my head that’s like, “That will never happen. Who do you think you are? You’re not interesting enough to put on TV.” All of that is still there but I don’t let it stop me from having play dates with my dream and having a lot of fun with my dream. Who’s with me? Figure out your dream and then nurture a healthy relationship with it.

Thanks for joining me for Entre-Talk. Make sure you’re listening to the Friday episodes of this podcast as well, entrepreneurs, because they are going to be extremely relevant to you as you build your business but I will be back next Monday with more Entre-Talk. I’ll see you then.

Hey there, if you enjoy this podcast or even if you just find that it sort of piques your curiosity, or it makes you think, you’re going to love the book that I wrote. It’s called Better Than Happy: Connecting with Divinity Through Conscious Thinking. And it’s available now at Amazon in print or kindle version. Or if you want me to read it to you, head over to audible and grab the audio version. And why not grab a copy for your sister, your best friend, or your mom while you’re there too. Just saying.