494. The Year of Radical Confidence

What if you made 2025 the year that you became radically confident? What does that even mean and what would change in your life? Well, that’s what we’re going to explore in today’s episode. Welcome to Better Than Happy, Episode 494, The Year of Radical Confidence.

Welcome to Better Than Happy, the podcast where we transform our lives by transforming ourselves. My name is Jody Moore. In the decade-plus I’ve been working with clients as a Master Certified Coach, I’ve helped tens of thousands of people to become empowered. And from empowered, the things that seemed hard become trivial, and the things that seemed impossible become available, and suddenly, a whole new world of desire and possibility open up to you. And what do you do with that?

Well, that’s the question… what will you do? Let’s find out.

Sometimes, listening to a podcast is enough. But sometimes, you’ll feel inspired to go deeper. If you hear things that speak to you in today’s episode, consider it your invitation to a complimentary coaching workshop.

On this live, interactive Zoom call with me, you’ll get a taste of the power of this work when applied in real life. You can participate, or be a silent observer. But you have to take a step if you want to truly see change in your life… two steps, actually. Head to jodymoore.com/freecoaching and register. Then you just have to show up. Your best life is waiting for you. Will you show up for it? Jodymoore.com/freecoaching. I’ll see you there.

Hello, everybody. Welcome to the podcast. Happy New Year. This is our first episode in 2025. I’m actually recording it a little bit early in the month of December, but I’m picturing just a few weeks from now in the future when you’ll be listening to it and you’re just coming off of Christmas and New Year’s and whatever other holidays you might celebrate at this time of year. Maybe you’re feeling ready to really get yourself on track. Great. I love that.

I’m a fan of New Year’s resolutions. If you like them, if they help you, I don’t even think you need to feel bad if they only last a couple of months. I think that’s fine. I have some methods and tricks I can offer you that help to extend them throughout the year, but that’s not exactly what I want to talk about today.

I want to talk to you about why I’m making 2025 in The Lab – for those of you that are in The Lab with me, we are going to have a year of radical confidence. I’m gonna be teaching you all kinds of topics and tools. I’m gonna take you through a different workshop every month and we’re gonna cover all kinds of things, but every single one of them at the root is made easier when you are more confident.

How do I know this? I’ve been coaching for almost 11 years now. I can tell you with confidence that there is nothing, no problem or challenge or stuck point or anything that anyone brings me that wouldn’t be solved by being more confident. And whenever people ask me to go and speak to a group of individuals, whether they be adults or youth. A lot of times they have ideas, what they want me to talk about, but many times they also want to hear my thoughts and suggestions, or occasionally they even say, speak on anything you want to. 

And so when I get a say or I get to choose, I always, always, always choose this topic of helping people to become more confident because it is the small hinge that swings the big doors in our lives. I am telling you that is true. If you look at any relationship challenge you have, anytime you’re feeling frustrated with another person, worried about another person, insecure around another person, if you were more confident, if you loved yourself more, if you had a better connection with yourself, if you trusted yourself, we’re gonna get into what I mean by confidence more in today’s episode, but if you worked on that, this whole challenge would become far easier.

I’m not saying it would go away. I’m not saying the goal is to turn you into a robot who doesn’t have emotions or experience challenges. In fact, I want you to have many challenges in your life. Challenges are a very good thing. Challenges are how we grow and evolve. Without challenges, we actually become very bored and ultimately depressed. We need challenges. We need opportunities to be stretched, to have to learn and to grow.

But the challenges will change. As you become confident, things that feel like problems in your life right now will suddenly not feel like problems at all. And you will then have the capacity in the space to create your own problems. Sometimes we call these goals. Sometimes we call these big dreams. Sometimes we call these massive projects that we want to execute or see what’s possible or see what we’re capable of. Those are the kinds of challenges I want you to fill up your life with because there’s so much more fun than the day-to-day, what I call survival-based problems.

Now, I still have those survival-based problems from time to time, and so do many of my clients. But so many of them tell me that the majority of them have gone away. That the things they used to think were such a big deal or were so hard or were so overwhelming or were so important, suddenly are not. They’re not a big deal. They’re not overwhelming. They become simple little kind of things to tend to on occasion, but often things that don’t even require attention at all.

And then your brain is free to create what you want. Create your own challenges. This is a much more fun way to live your life, not to mention serves everybody around you so much better because you’re creating something to contribute to either your family or your community or your society or the world at large. And that is a much more fun way to live and develop and grow.

And so, again, confidence, I call it radical confidence because I think being this level of confidence is a radical decision to make. It’s radical in that it’s outside of the norm. It’s unusual. Many people will not understand it. Many people will have judgment of it or question of it, or they won’t believe that it’s real, or they won’t believe that it’s appropriate, or whatever else they may think because it hasn’t occurred to them that it’s possible for them or they just have no idea how to get there. They can’t even wrap their heads around it.

And so I want to offer to you today that radical confidence is something we could create in a year. And all of the courses I’m going to be teaching in The Lab this year, again, will lead back in some way or another to radical confidence. So for those of you in The Lab, get ready. For those of you not in The Lab, you must go to a free coaching call first to even see if you like what coaching actually looks like. Coaching is very different than what I do on this podcast.

And in The Lab, we are not just teaching you, I’m gonna be giving you, especially this year, get ready, everybody. I’m gonna give you a lot of exercises and things to implement in your life. So if you really want to take this work next level, you’re going to have a lot of hand-holding and guidance about how to do it. Because I want everyone by the end of the year to be radically confident.

I want us to be doing by next year a lot more coaching on your big goals and a lot less on the other little problems that our brains pick up on around us and think are problematic, namely our kids, what’s going on with our kids and our parenting or your spouse or your in-laws or the scarcity stuff that comes up for so many of us, the fear or the worry or the defensiveness or maybe the grudge or hard feelings you’re holding against somebody or the emotional overwhelm you feel about not knowing how to process emotions, the anxiety, those kind of emotions that feel like they’re driving you, the insecurity.

Again, I love coaching on those things. So I’m not trying to help you all get rid of those things because I don’t want to coach on it.

I will coach you on it anytime and we will always have opportunities to do at least some of that. But I want the majority of your coaching to be around what you want to create in your life, what you want to do, who you want to be. I just think that that is, for your sake, a lot more fun than the little mundane problems our brains fixate on. Are you with me? Who’s with me? Okay, so what is radical confidence? What does that look like? How do we even get there?

I’m going to tell you today I have 10 things that I think make up radical confidence. And the first one is your relationship with yourself, which is why very soon, I don’t know what the date is exactly, I don’t have it in front of me, but this episode airs right after the new year and very early on in January in The Lab, I will be teaching you a workshop called Your Relationship with Yourself. Because that is the beginning of true confidence, of radical confidence, in my opinion.

So your relationship with yourself is like a relationship with any other person. If it’s strong and solid and healthy, it looks like you have a connection with yourself. You pay attention to yourself from time to time. You hear yourself out. You acknowledge yourself when you need acknowledgement and you’re compassionate and there for yourself when you need some comfort and some compassion.

You understand what you want. Listen to me. For those of you that have no idea what you want, or your answer to what do you really, really want? What do you want in the next five years? In the next 10 years? What do you want this year? If your answer is, I don’t know, or I just want everything to stay as it is, we have a problem. Because nothing stays as it is. Everything progresses and changes and evolves and it either is declining or improving. Right? What do they say? We’re either growing or dying. That is the reality.

And so things cannot just stay stagnant. People are not stagnant. The world is not stagnant. Even the earth continues to move nonstop. And so stagnation is not an option. But most people are not aware of what they want because they do not have a solid relationship with themselves. They have not connected with themselves in the way that I’m going to teach you how to connect with yourself.

Who are you now and who are you becoming? Who do you envision yourself being in the next 20 years, 30 years, 50 years? Who are you becoming? If you don’t know that, it’s okay, but we need to work on your relationship with yourself.

What is amazing about you? What is unique about you? What’s interesting about you? What is annoying about you? What is challenging about you? And not from judgment or self-loathing, just from an awareness. All of these things make us unique and make us individuals.

I think, again, one of the key indicators along with not knowing what you want, but another key indicator that I know we have work to do on your relationship with yourself is if you don’t enjoy being with you. I speak from experience on all of these things, meaning I have had to work on my relationship with myself, and I’m still working on it, actually. I still have a long way to go. 

But I know what to do. I have the exercises and the practices, and I have a totally different relationship with myself now than I did certainly five years ago, because I execute what I’m going to be teaching you in this workshop. I am more clear on what I want and I enjoy being with me.

Okay, so relationship with self, very important part of radical confidence. The second thing that’s important for radical confidence is owning your strengths. Now I talked about this a little bit in your relationship with yourself. I said, what are you good at? What’s amazing about you? But I wanna take it next level with this one and talk to you about owning your strengths.

What are you really, really good at? Listen, I know you know the answer to this, but most people are afraid to say it out loud. You know why? Someone told them that they shouldn’t. Someone told them that’s bragging. And it might make other people feel bad as though you’re responsible for other people’s emotions. But I just don’t believe that’s the case. I don’t believe that your strengths make you any better than anyone else. And I don’t think that you hiding your strengths serves anyone.

In our family last night, we have a little 24-day nativity thing that we do where we hang an ornament on the tree and we read scripture or talk about a story about Christ that helps us at Christmas time to keep Christ at the center. And the story in Scripture we read last night was about letting your light so shine and not hiding it under a bushel. And we talked about what does that mean, to let your light so shine.

So as family members, we sort of took turns being like, yeah, Heavenly Father gave us all strengths and gifts and talents, and we’ve developed some skills and strengths and talents by working hard at them. And we sort of talked about each person in our family. 

One person is really funny and really good at making people laugh. And another person we said was really good at connecting people and helping people feel comfortable around one another, gathering people in groups. And somebody else was really thoughtful and able to really give thoughtful gifts and has like a really tender, sensitive heart. So we were talking about these strengths.

And I said to them, your job is to use those strengths to contribute in the world and to make your own life richer and fuller and better. Not to sit back and go, oh, you know what? I’m not good at very many things. I don’t know. In the name of humility or modesty. 

Humility is just, I am so good at this thing. God blessed me with that gift. And I’ve worked really hard to develop it and now I want to use it and share it with others. And at the same time, that doesn’t make me any better than anyone else. And every single person alive has gifts of things they were given that they’re good at.

Okay, so own your strengths. Have you ever been in a meeting or in like a group project and everybody’s afraid to speak up and they don’t want to step on anyone’s toes and they don’t want to be seen as aggressive and disappointing? It’s so frustrating. Nothing gets done. Nobody makes decisions. Nobody’s taking ownership. It’s horrible, right? What’s ideal is when somebody can go, oh, you know what? I’m really good at that. Give me that project. Give me that assignment. I’ll do that part. I’m really good at that actually. Right? Have you ever heard anybody say that?

I have a friend, someone from my ward actually at my church, who sat down on the piano one time to play a song without any music, and her fingers were just flying all over up and down the keyboard playing those most beautiful scales and playing this song. And I was like, “What in the world was that? Where did you learn to play the piano that way?” And she said, “You know, I was just kind of blessed with a gift.” But she didn’t say, “Oh, I’m not that good. Anyone could do it.” Right? She just owned it. Like, I’m really good at that. I was blessed with some talent and some gifts.

And there are other times, right, when there are things where you’ve worked really hard at. When people tell me that I’m a really good coach, I say, “Thanks, I’ve worked really hard at it. I’ve been coaching for a long time. I continue to study and learn about it and even study my own coaching and ask myself how can I get better?” And I think I have gotten really good at it. Thanks for noticing.

Okay, so owning your strength is an important part of radical confidence. Number three, to be radically confident you also have to embrace your weaknesses. What do I mean by that? So many people are afraid that people are gonna find out about their weaknesses. We walk around hiding it, being ashamed, being embarrassed. Why do we do this? I don’t know why we do this. We don’t need to hide our weaknesses.

Did you know that we are actually more connected to one another and we are more drawn to someone when we see and understand that they have weaknesses, even though we all already know, logically, right? But I want you to imagine the friend you have that’s just really good at everything. 

Her house is always immaculate and she always looks gorgeous and put together from head to toe, and her children are so well behaved, and they’re dressed immaculate, and their hair is all combed, and they don’t have crazy outfits on like my kids. They just, they look great, they act great. She seems like everything’s perfect. How do you feel about that woman?

I don’t know about you, but I really admire her and respect her, but I’m also a little bit suspicious of her. Like, what’s really going on there?

What’s happening there, right? Versus the woman who’s kind of a mess. And she shows up late sometimes, and you show up at her house, and it’s kind of a disaster at times or all the time. And her kids are just kids, you know, like we try to comb the hair, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. And sometimes she just lets her kids pick whatever they want to wear in the name of letting them express themselves. Isn’t that the woman that you’re like, she’s my kind of people? Because we all are actually a mess in so many ways.

So I’m not saying that you don’t work on whatever weaknesses you want to work on. Maybe you are short on patience. I just coached someone today who said, I’m very moody and dramatic. I was like, well, let’s, how do you feel when you describe yourself that way? And she feels terrible. She feels ashamed of it. What we discovered, of course, is that the reason she’s so moody and dramatic is because she already is walking around feeling bad about herself. So then to come along and judge yourself again isn’t helpful. It’s not going to help.

How about just like, yeah, you know what? Sometimes I get in a bad mood and I don’t always handle it well. And I mean, that’s what you get with me. I don’t know what to tell you. I’m working on it. I don’t like feeling that way, but I love me anyway. I’m not going to reject me. You know, I probably had valid reasons for all of it. 

Because by the way, you for sure have valid reasons for all of it. All of your weaknesses, all of your mistakes, all of your faults, all of your shortcomings, you 100% have valid reasons for them. Okay? So you don’t have to reject yourself. Rejecting yourself will not work.

It’s much more endearing to us when somebody’s like, oh my gosh, I’m terrible at that thing. Like I have this one friend who seems like she’s good at everything. And then she’ll say something like, oh, I’m terrible at directions. Like, I just cannot find my way around. And it makes me like her so much more when she says that.

Because it’s such a great example of she owns her strengths, she owns it, she’s good at a lot of things, but she also owns like, yeah, I’m terrible at directions, I’m terrible at spelling, I’m terrible at whatever else. And that’s what we know is real about people is that we are all a combination of strengths and weaknesses. You don’t have to be apologetic overly, you don’t have to try to hide it, You don’t have to try to people please and make everyone else not feel uncomfortable around you. You could just own like, yeah, you know, you got me there. It’s true. I’m not good at that thing.

It’s so freeing to live this way because you don’t have to get defensive. You don’t have to argue against anything. You can just embrace all of it. Your strengths, by the way, and your weaknesses are what make you unique. Okay, but if we’re all strengths, we’re not unique. And if we’re all weaknesses, we’re not unique. Well, I don’t know if that’s true, but each of us has individual strengths and individual weaknesses, and the combination of those two are what make us unique. You hear what I’m saying?

The number four thing that makes us radically confident that I want you to consider is to have an unreasonable belief in your ability to succeed. Okay? I purposely, I love words like radical and unreasonable and unrealistic, because the brain wants to say, that’s radical, that’s unreasonable, that’s unrealistic.

So I just like to beat my brain to it and be like, of course, it’s radical to be this confident, especially as a woman, especially a woman in a conservative religious culture, in a traditional family. To be this confident is radical and so useful. I’m all in on me and any of you who want to join me becoming radically confident.

But unreasonably believing in your ability to succeed is another thing that I want to recommend that makes you radically confident. So, what do you want to succeed at? I don’t know. It’s up to you. All I know is that years ago, when I decided I wanted to make a lot of money in my coaching business, like 10 times more than I’d ever made in my very well-paying corporate job where I was making a corporate salary.

I decided that as a woman with a laptop who calls herself a life coach, I was gonna make a lot of money that year. I had no proof that I could do it. I had not done it before. I didn’t even know how I was gonna do it. I did not have a business plan that got me there. I had no reason to believe I would succeed. I was not super confident. I was not really good at all the things that I thought I needed to be really good at.

I just chose to have an unreasonable amount of belief that I could become those things, that I could learn the things I didn’t yet know, and that I could try and fail and try again until I figured it out. And that if I just chose to think big, be uncomfortable, put myself out there, go all in and commit to my business, that it was possible. And I’ll tell you what, that kind of radical confidence feels kind of scary, but it feels very powerful as well. It feels like a momentum that will carry you to where you’re trying to go.

So we always want other people to believe in us, right? We want our spouses to believe that we can do it. We want our best friends or our parents or our siblings or whoever to tell us that they think we can do it. But why would they be able to do that? 

They can’t do that. They’re not us. They don’t know what it’s like to be in our own heads. They don’t know our level of commitment. They only know that in the past, we haven’t always followed through on everything we said we were gonna do. And we know that too about ourselves, but the difference is we can decide that that’s not gonna happen this time. That we’re gonna go big. That we’re gonna commit.

Do you know what commitment is? It comes from one simple thought. Commitment is just no matter what. I will do this thing no matter what. That’s commitment. And if you’re committed, then you have no reason not to believe in yourself. Because if you’re gonna do it no matter what, then you should believe in yourself, right? So choose to be proud of your efforts, even if you don’t, right?

So when I decide to be unreasonably believing in my own ability to succeed, there’s always still that voice in the back of my head that’s like, but what if I can’t? What if I try everything? What if I’m fully committed? I show up, I give it my all, and I still don’t succeed. And the way I answer that question is, well, then I will be so proud of you Jody Moore for trying. But I’m not going to sit back and not try, not fully commit, or just kind of try because if I kind of try, I’ll probably kind of succeed. But if I want to succeed at something, I gotta go all in.

Now, this level of radical confidence we all have about so many things in our lives, they’re just usually the things that we’ve already done a whole bunch of times. Like if I ask you to go to the store and get bread and milk and eggs, and you say, “Yes, I will, Jody, I will go to the store, I’ll be back in about a half an hour.” Okay? You have just committed to it and you have radical confidence around it or unreasonable belief in your ability to do it, right?

Even though you don’t know if something’s going to go wrong with your car, if it’s going to break down, or if you’re going to get in a car accident along the way. Or if you’re going to be driving to the store and suddenly the route that you were going to take is closed because they’re doing construction and you have to find a new route. Like there are so many things that could happen.

You could get to the store and they might be out of eggs. You could get to the store and they might have had a fire drill and they’re closed now you have to find another store. But you know that you can find solutions to any of those problems that come up, right? And that the odds of some of the more dramatic ones are pretty low, and the odds of some of the other ones might be higher, but they’re pretty easy to work around. And so you have this unreasonable belief that you can succeed in it. Or maybe we would say it’s reasonable because you’ve done it before, but still.

And so when you do hit roadblocks, you’re not like, “Oh my gosh, who would I think I was saying I could go to the store.” That is radical confidence. Now, I love that we have that about things we’ve already done, but you can choose to have that about things that you’ve never done. 

Because the same thing is true in that the really extreme things you’re afraid of, the odds of them happening are pretty low, but even if they did, you would be fine. And the more minor, inconvenient, annoying things that could happen probably will happen, but you can find workarounds if you just keep going.

So choose to have unreasonable belief in your own ability to succeed. Number five part of being radically confident goes along with number four, and that is making it safe to fail. You have to make it okay for yourself to fail. I spoke to this a little bit when we were talking about being unreasonably believing in your ability to succeed, but let me just expand on it.

Every time your brain’s like, “But what if we don’t? What if it doesn’t work?” You need to answer that question consciously because your unconscious brain is already answering it. It’s answering it with, “That would be horrible. We’ll be super disappointed. That would be so embarrassing. That would be awful. We probably shouldn’t even try.” That’s what your unmanaged brain is answering when it says, “What if it doesn’t work?”

But you can consciously on purpose answer it in a more useful way. It sounds more like this. “Well, I will just be proud of you for trying. I will, when you lay your head down at night, Jody Moore, I will say, thank you, girl, for showing up.” This is a growth mindset, right? Like Carol Dweck says, we’re not supposed to praise our children for being so smart. We’re supposed to praise them for trying so hard and being so committed and not giving up.

It’s better for someone to try something and fail and try and fail and try and fail and then succeed the 10th time than to succeed on the first time. Because in the trying and the failing, in the trying and the failing, we grow in so many ways. We become emotionally stronger. We become wiser about what we’re doing. We become more confident. Isn’t that crazy?

We only become confident by doing things that are hard. And if it’s hard enough that we fail the first 10 times, we will become even more confident than if it just works the first time or even the second time or the third time, right? That is what creates radical confidence. 

So it has to be okay to fail. You have to know that you’re not gonna beat yourself up. People say to me, well, if I fail, then I’ll just be so discouraged and disappointed. I’m like, well, that’s optional, you know? You could just decide right now that you will not be disappointed in yourself if you show up and give it your best.

You will choose to thank yourself. Even if you show up and you don’t always give it your best, but you show up, you can say, thanks me for giving it what you could. I love you. I’m not mad at you. I’m actually so proud of you right now for showing up and trying. Be willing to be terrible at it. Be willing to be new. Be willing to be not good at things.

Remember how we’re embracing our weaknesses? If you embrace your weaknesses, then when you’re not good at something, you just constantly raise your hand and ask for coaching, ask for help, ask questions and go, I’m not good at this. Can you help me with this part? I still don’t understand this. Can you explain it to me again? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never done that thing. I’m not good at any of this. Please help me. There’s no shame in that, right?

Okay, number six, part of becoming radically confident is to understand that circumstances do not create emotions or results. This creates radical confidence because when you understand that your circumstances, first of all, do not create your emotions. Other people don’t make you feel anything. Your spouse doesn’t make you feel bad when he or she doesn’t appreciate you. You make you feel bad when you make it mean something negative and you don’t appreciate you.

Just like you don’t make your spouse or your children or your cousin or anybody else feel bad when you snap at them, ignore them, forget their birthday, whatever it is that you did. They make themselves feel bad by what they make that mean.

Now people get confused about this because they think I’m saying we should all just run around acting like a bunch of jerks to each other. And that’s not what I’m saying at all. I don’t like being a jerk. I don’t act like a jerk when I’m radically confident. When I’m radically confident and loving myself, I’m really, really good at loving other people too.

So becoming radically confident and understanding that I can’t make anyone feel anything. All I can do is try to be the version of me that I think is the best version of me. And you know what? The best version of me is not for everyone. Everyone doesn’t prefer that in me. Everyone prefers that everyone act just like them. Right? That’s what I prefer.

I’m like, why does that person think that way? Why don’t they see it my way? Why does that person behave that way? Why don’t they behave how I would? I can’t, we say this all the time. I just can’t imagine ever saying that or ever acting that way or I would never do that. Okay, these are all versions of why isn’t everyone just like me?

But the truth is, the reality is, I need to be just like me. I need to figure out who I even am and then be the truest version of her I can be, because who I really am is somebody who is loving and good and kind and generous and also has weaknesses and faults and all of it, right? But I’m not responsible for how anyone else feels, because when I take on that responsibility, I lose sight of who I am and I try to become who I think they want me to be. And that might work temporarily. That won’t work for the long term. If you’ve tried this, you know what I’m talking about.

We’re going to dive deep into this in The Lab this year. So pay attention, those of you in The Lab, and make sure you really get that part. So circumstances don’t create emotions. They also don’t create results. This is the best news I have for you. The diet that you go on isn’t what actually is going to create your health outcomes. You’re going to create your health outcome with what you do and how you think and how you feel, which is driving what you do, right?

You could choose just about any diet that exists, any exercise plan, any meal plan, any nutrition plan, whatever you want to follow, any one of them will probably get you there. Right? It’s just a matter of which one makes it easiest for you to think and feel and behave in the way that you want. So you don’t have to overthink the plan you’re going to follow.

Any business you try to launch can succeed because you’re gonna be the one making it succeed, not your business. It’s not your niche, coaches, that makes you successful. It’s not. It’s you. It’s what you believe about your niche. It’s what how you choose to feel. It’s how you show up in the world. It’s whether or not you’re going all in on taking care of people.

So circumstances don’t create emotions and circumstances don’t create results either. Where you live, who your neighbors are, even who you’re married to, how your kids behave. None of that is creating your result, my friends. You are creating your own result.

Again, I could go on about this all day. This is what my whole podcast is about, but we take it really deep and apply it in the areas that feel really, really tricky in The Lab this year. So stay with me, come with me.

Okay, number seven, part of being radically confident is to have, here’s my favorite word again, unreasonable. We’re going to have unreasonable integrity. The reason I call it unreasonable integrity is because I purposely want to make you a little bit uncomfortable with how honest I want you to be.

I want you to be so honest, first of all, with yourself. I want you to tell yourself the whole truth. Why do we lie to ourselves? We do. We try to, I should say. It’s hard to do because we know the truth on some level, but we still try to lie to ourselves.

It sounds like this. I really want to have a successful coaching business. I’m just not able to get it done for some reason. The things just keep coming up. Things keep getting in the way. Okay. That’s a lie. How do we know? Because you’re letting things get in the way. Because if you truly wanted a successful coaching business, you would show up for it.

Now, why, back to my question, why do we lie to ourselves? Because we beat ourselves up when we tell the truth. We have so much judgment of the truth. And I want to give you permission to just drop the judgment. There’s no reason to judge yourself. It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you that you haven’t actually wanted a coaching business as much as you want to not do the things required to have a coaching business. That’s okay. It’s totally understandable.

Remember, Everything you do or don’t do is understandable and justifiable. You have a valid reason for all of it. So you don’t need to be ashamed of it. You don’t need to feel bad about it. And it’s also not permanent. It doesn’t mean you can’t get to a place where you’re fully committed and you absolutely do want to have a successful coaching business.

If you do, though, we got to get you there in your head. And it begins by telling the truth, which is I kind of want one. I’m just kind of interested in it, but I don’t actually want it.

Again, we all do this with food too. I really want to lose 10 pounds. Really? Do I really or do I kind of want to? Kind of interested in it. Sounds like a great idea, but not as much as I want to keep eating what I’m eating and not exercising and not changing my eating or drinking or movement behaviors.

Unreasonable integrity. Now that’s with yourself. Second of all, I want you to have the unreasonable integrity with the people around you. Do you know who my favorite people are in the world? The people who tell the truth. How do you know they’re telling the truth? You know they’re telling the truth because it doesn’t always go along with what everybody in the room is saying or thinking, and it doesn’t come from defensiveness, and sometimes it rocks the boat a little.

This might include saying no at times. And saying no with unreasonable integrity means you don’t have to make up a lie or an excuse. You can just say, I just can’t get myself to a yes on that one. Sorry. That’s the truth sometimes. Or saying yes in a confident way. So unreasonable integrity. I love this concept and it’s something that I still have room to improve upon.

I still find myself doing some people pleasing from time to time or some pretending or some, you know, slight like exaggeration, if you will. And I wanna focus on being unreasonably honest because you can do that and be kind, by the way. You don’t have to be mean. You don’t have to turn into a jerk. You can do it with kindness. 

Okay, number eight is to default to abundance. Okay, abundance is such a buzzword in the coaching world. I apologize for that, but it just really is a good word to describe what we mean, which is the understanding that there is more than enough. 

Why is this part of being radically confident? Well, because I think that defaulting to abundance, and by defaulting, I mean, sometimes we just don’t know, right? Am I going to have enough time to get that done? Am I going to have enough of what I need? Are things going to go as planned? Am I going to have the money that I need? Am I going to have the time that I need? Am I going to have the resources, the energy, etc.? Is there going to be enough of whatever? 

And usually the answer is, I think so, I hope so. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that happens, but I kind of don’t know for sure. Right? That’s the reality. And if you default to scarcity, like probably not, we’ll probably run out of time, money, effort, energy, whatever, then we need to work on being radically confident. Because I want your default to be like, I’m sure there’ll be plenty. Because there always has been. 

And even if you’re like, no, that one time I couldn’t pay my bills, or this one time I ran out of time, or not just one time, many times, maybe you haven’t had the money or the time, but guess what? You did actually, because somehow you figured it out. Even if you let those bills build up longer or you had to postpone something to the next day, you still figured it out, right? 

So being radically confident is trusting in two things. Number one is trusting in God. Okay, there’s a spiritual component to all of this. Like you are enough. You are good enough, worthy, lovable, etc.

Because you are a child of God, period. You have nothing to do with it. And other people are also because they’re all children of God. So there’s that whole thing. But also with abundance, like, what if you just trusted that God will provide for you? 

And I don’t mean sit on your couch and wait for a check to show up in the mailbox. I just mean there will be opportunities, there will be solutions, there will be answers that you can’t even consider right now but they’re headed your way if you just choose to believe that there is enough and to spare like the scriptures say, okay? That there are things coming at you, everything you want is trying to find you and you just have to open up to receive it. 

So it’s a belief in some kind of higher power. But second of all, it’s a faith in yourself, a trusting of yourself that you will show up and do whatever’s necessary to create what you want to create and achieve what you want to achieve and have what you want and need to have in your life. You have you that you can count on. And that kind of trusting in forces outside of our control, namely God, and trusting in yourself is the reason why you can always default to abundance.

When you learn to default to that, then occasionally you’ll fall short in some way, but you’ll be able to make up for it. Instead of defaulting to scarcity like most people do, and then falling short continuously and occasionally having enough or to spare. All right, we’re going to work on that in The Lab this year if you feel like you have work to do in that area. 

Number nine part of being radically confident is having the ability and the willingness to feel feelings. Okay? Feelings. Why? Why do we have to have feelings? Well, because actually feeling feelings is part of a complete, whole, expansive, fulfilling human experience. 

I was, again, just coaching someone in The Lab on this today who said, I don’t think I’m very good at feeling feelings. I think I’m good at pushing them away or numbing from them. She had some trauma from her childhood. So she learned that it wasn’t safe to feel feelings.

And she was afraid if she just let herself feel her feelings that she’s gonna act out on them, that she’s gonna yell at people or she’s gonna be difficult to be around or whatever, they’re going to be out of control. If you can relate to that, you’re not alone. That’s what most people believe who have been resisting, repressing, avoiding, or buffering away from feelings is that if I just allow them, it’s going to be totally out of control. I’m just going to sob all day or I’m going to yell at people or I’m going to turn into this monster and I tell them no, no, no, you’ve got it all wrong.

You’re feeling out of control because you’re resisting your feelings and resisted feelings turn into escalated feelings. When we resist feelings, they get stronger. They turn into things like anger and anxiety. Those are both secondary emotions. They start out as something like hurt or fear or worry or sadness, right? 

Some kind of more clean pain, but we resist them and they turn into anger and anxiety. And if you’ve been resisting them over and over again, then you go right to anger and anxiety. You skip over the primary emotion, go right to the secondary emotion. It’s what your brain and body have memorized. And you simply need to be taught how to change those patterns. And I can teach you how to do that.

I can teach you how to just allow feelings, how to open up to feelings, how to feel feelings. Because if you are willing and able to feel any feeling, by the way, how do you become willing and able? You practice doing it. You do it the first time, it’ll feel a little odd. You do it again, you’ll get better at it. You’ll get better and better and better the more times you do it. So once you become comfortable and practiced, then you will be willing and able to feel any feeling. And that creates radical confidence.

Think about it. What does confidence look like? Confidence looks like Taylor Swift on the stage with 80,000 people watching her. Do you realize that she could trip and fall? She could forget the lyrics to the song. She could, whatever else could go wrong. There could be so many things going wrong and the whole world is watching her, right?

But she’s radically confident because she’s willing to feel embarrassed if she needed to feel embarrassed when that happened. If she chose to think thoughts that would create embarrassment, she would just feel embarrassed. She’s willing to feel nervous. I don’t know if she feels nervous when she goes out in front of that crowd, but if she does, she’s willing to be nervous. She’s willing to be overwhelmed every time she has to learn a whole new whatever. She’s willing to feel all the feelings. She’s willing to feel whatever she feels when she reads whatever they write about her in the media. She’s willing to feel it. That creates radical confidence. It’s not that she doesn’t ever feel it.

So many of us are like, I would be more confident if I just wasn’t so afraid. I was at the skate park with my kids and some other kids the other day. And one of the kids there said, I just wish I could take something that would help me not be afraid so I could go drop into the bowl and not be afraid that I’m going to get hurt. I was like, no, no, no. That’s not, no, no, no, no. That leads you to a dark place. There are things you can take, they’re called drugs, that take away your fear. But they create many other problems that are not worth it on the back end. 

We don’t want to take away the fear. What we want to do is be willing to feel afraid and drop into the bowl anyway and put on knee pads and helmets and all the things so that we don’t do any kind of permanent non-reversible damage. But you might get hurt. You’ll probably fall off your skateboard the first time. But if you keep doing it, you’ll get better at fear and you’ll get better at skateboarding. That is the way we create an amazing life, right? Be willing to feel your feelings.

Number 10 and final thing that creates radical confidence that I’m going to be teaching this year, 2025, the year of radical confidence is permission to remain human. Okay. So I had to add this one at the end, because all of these things that I’m describing to you, sometimes people want to turn into a checklist of good. I’m good at that. I’m good at that. I’m good at that.

And then suddenly, this is what will happen. Like I said, you’ll clean up a lot of the things that you struggle with right now. A lot of the things that feel like a big deal, that feel heavy, that feel like problems, those things you’ll start to realize, and I hear this over and over again from all of you in The Lab, you’re constantly telling me, oh my gosh, I can’t even believe I used to worry about that thing with my sister, or my marriage used to be so hard, or my job used to stress me out, or whatever. My kids, and now I don’t worry about any of that at all. 

But you know what will happen is you will level up and you will suddenly start to have these desires and interests that you never even had before. You will start having dreams and goals and hobbies or projects or things that you want to try out because now you have the capacity, like I said, to solve for some different kinds of problems, some much more fun, more useful problems. And with those, you will bring up new levels of all these things I’m talking about. 

Embracing your strengths and your weaknesses, owning all of it, being unreasonably honest with people, understanding that circumstances don’t create emotions or results, defaulting to abundance. All of the things I just talked about. They will come up in new versions, new levels. As you start working on bigger dreams, bigger goals. And then we’ll dive in again. And we’ll solve for it at that level and you’ll set something bigger, bigger expectations. 

And bigger can mean all kinds of things. I just turned 50 years old, so I’m like, I don’t know how much bigger I wanna grow my business, but I do want to keep making my life better and making my contribution better. And maybe, maybe I want to grow my business bigger. I don’t know, but bigger can mean all kinds of things is what I’m saying. 

All right. So don’t take any of it too literally, but remember that there’s no end to the amounts of iterations of this work that are possible, okay? In this lifetime, we will never check all those boxes and be done checking them. They will keep coming up. They will just take on new forms, new flavors.

And that’s such a beautiful thing because I kind of think that’s the point of all of it. I think that’s why we’re here on earth. I think it’s to become like gods. And we won’t become like gods in our human forms. We will just keep reiterating, reiterating next version of us. We will get closer to it, but we will never be done with it, is my point. Are you with me?

All right. So go to jodymoore.com/freecoaching if you want to join me for 2025, the year of radical confidence. I would love to take you on this journey.

Thanks for joining me today, everyone. Have a beautiful rest of your week. Bye-bye.

Oh wow, look at that. You made it to the end. Your time and attention is valuable, and I don’t take it lightly that you made it this far. In fact, it tells me you might be like me; insatiably curious about people and life and potential and connection. Maybe you have big dreams but a small budget and no time. You’re tired, but bored. You’re content, but dissatisfied. Sound familiar? Come to a free coaching call and see for yourself what’s possible: jodymoore.com/freecoaching to register. That’s jodymoore.com/freecoaching.