287. The State of the World

I’m Jody Moore and this is Better Than Happy, episode 287: The State of the World.

Did you know that you can live a life that’s even better than happy? My name is Jody Moore. I’m a master certified life coach and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And if you’re willing to go with me I can show you how. Let’s go.

Hey, how’s it going? Do you like my voice today? I have a cold and a little bit of a cough, that’s a thing, it’s not just Covid that you get. You can still get a cold and cough. That’s me today. So please forgive the voice.

Listen, before we dive into the content I want to make sure that you’re registered for Better Than Happy Bootcamp because I created it for you. What I mean by that is I created it for my podcast fans and listeners. So you don’t have to be of a certain gender, or a certain age, or a certain anything else. You don’t have to fit into any box. If you like what you hear me talk about here on this podcast then you’re going to love what we’re going to do in Bootcamp.

You’re going to think oh my goodness, I thought the podcast was great and it was helping me but I didn’t realize it could be this much better. I promise you if you register for Bootcamp, which is only $19 by the way, and you come and listen to at least some of it, you’re going to feel what I’ve been trying to tell you all along, which is that there is so much more available to you, much deeper layers of this work and the application of it in your life.

So it’s going to take place January 25^th to the 29^th, that’s five days, Monday through Friday 9:00am Pacific Time for one hour. We will just virtually hang out together. And I’m going to teach you a little bit, but mostly I’m going to be just taking people who are brave enough to come on and talk to me. And we’re going to put all these tools to work in your real life with your real struggles, and your real challenges, and your real problems.

And so if you’re not one of those people whose brave enough to come on and talk to me, that’s okay too. You’ll still get the effect of it by hearing the application from others. And listen, if you don’t register for this you’re going to reach out to me later and you’re going to say, “Oh my gosh, I missed bootcamp, can I get the replays or are you going to do it again?” And it’s going to break my heart to say, “No, we don’t sell replays after the fact.” And I don’t know if we’ll do it again. Maybe we will but I have no idea at this point.

In my mind this is like a let’s go big and do this right now because we need this right now. We need a bootcamp for our minds and our emotions. Maybe you need a bootcamp for your physical health. I don’t know. That’s not really my expertise. But if you could use a bootcamp to get your brain and your feelings in shape, that’s what this will be. So again, it’s only $19. And I created it for you, my podcast listeners, you’re the ones that I had in mind when I created this so don’t miss it. You’ve got to go to jodymoore.com/bthbootcamp and get signed up.

Okay, let’s talk about the state of the world for a moment. What is the state of the world, do you know? Is the world in chaos, in turmoil? Is it a crazy time in the world? Is it a chaotic time and a hard time for most people? Or is it actually not that bad when you look back at the kinds of trials and struggles that our ancestors and generations before us had to endure, that it’s actually really doable for most people? Is the world continuing to get worse, to become more evil, or more challenging? Or is the world getting better?

Is the world becoming a place with more opportunities, more information, more goodness, more knowledge? Are we expanding and growing in love and all the things that we want to become more of? How about for those of you that live in the United States of America, what’s the state of our country? Or even for those of you who don’t live here, who might be watching from afar wondering what is happening over there. What’s the state of our country?

Is it struggling and headed in a dangerous dark scary place? Or is it going through a transition that’s going to be really good for us and we’re going to come out better, and stronger, and ultimately more united? I don’t know. These are questions that a lot of people want to run around and give you answers to. They want to tell you what to think about the state of the world. It seems like everybody wants to tell us what to think about the state of the world right now.

And the state of the world is something that goes into the T line of the model. So if you’re new to me what that means is that the state of the world is a thought. In other words if I think the world is worse than it’s ever been, or it’s headed in the wrong direction, or life is getting harder, then that will be true for me. And if I choose to think that the world is better than it’s ever been, and is continuing to get better, and we’ll always have the contrast 50/50.

And so as we see negative things highlighted there are just as many more positive things coming to light as well and that’s how it always has been and always will be. Then that will be true for me. So the state of the world isn’t anything that is factual and can be proven and that everyone would agree on. So we never are going to put it in the circumstance line. It’s always your thoughts and what you choose to think you will make true.

So I notice a lot of people feeling confused and scared right now. I’ve been getting more and more DMs, and messages, and questions from people who are feeling confused and scared and they’re searching for what to believe. And some of you are reaching out to me asking what to believe. And I’m happy to tell you what I believe. I’m always happy to offer my beliefs to others. And a lot of other people are happy to offer their beliefs.

But I really want to preface it with I want you to choose what you want to believe but I want you to choose it knowing that it’s a choice, knowing that it’s not just an observation of what’s true and trying to find reality because there is no reality in the end. There is no definitive state of the country, or the world, or anything else when it comes to a topic like this, to what’s going on right now. And is it good, is it bad, is it better, is it worse? That cannot be defined in a factual way. That is always subjective.

I don’t care how many reports, and studies, and statistics, all of those tell whatever story we decide to make them tell in the end. So what do you want to believe about the state of the world my friends, what do you want to believe? Now, how do we decide that? Well, first of all I am a fan of you choosing something that feels believable to you. In other words, I’m not suggesting that you need to try to make yourself believe something that feels like a real stretch, that you just don’t think actually is true. That’s not what I’m talking about.

But what I am talking about is sifting through all of the believable thoughts that you have and finding the ones that feel the best. I believe a 100% that the most important thing you can do for yourself, for your family, for your community, for your country, for the world is to try to feel better, I really do. I think if every single one of us did what we could to try to feel better in the right way, in the healthy, emotionally mature way, then our world would become so amazing. And we can’t control all the people outside of us. But we can control what we are bringing into the world.

And the more of us that bring goodness, and light, and peace, and feeling good the more power that gains and that is infectious.

So I had somebody send me a message in Be Bold the other day because they have access to me in there. And she said, “I’m a psychologist and I don’t understand why you always teach that we can’t feel other people’s emotions, because there are studies that show that we can.” And I said, “Totally, and if it helps you to think we can feel other people’s emotions then do that, think that, believe that. And if it helps you to think I’m not in charge of other people’s emotions, I can’t feel their emotions, I can only feel my own, then think that.”

But we could prove it either way. We can find studies, and research, and data, and people to back up either side. So those are just thoughts. So most of the time it serves me to remember I can’t feel other people’s emotions because when I think that then I stop trying to control what everyone outside of me is feeling and I start focusing on just feeling how I want to feel without trying to change them. That’s why for most people that thought serves them but it’s just a thought.

The more of us that feel good we are going to bring momentum behind good feeling emotions. And I want to talk about momentum for just a moment. I almost titled this podcast Momentum because I want to talk a lot about momentum today. But I decided that more of you would click on it if I called The State of the World. So there you go, we’re going to apply it to the state of the world.

But I want to talk about momentum because I think momentum is fascinating and I think maybe you would call it a hack for getting more of what you want. And remember that what you want is just to feel good. But even outside of that, being able to achieve the goals that you have and create the atmosphere you want around you, and even influence others to feel good, and be successful, and all of that. Momentum can help you to create all of that.

So, what is momentum? Well, I think the most obvious display of momentum would be if I jumped out of an airplane without a parachute, I would gain a lot of momentum. So momentum is a term that we use to talk about the mass and velocity of an object which indicates how much speed and force does it have, and how challenging will it be to stop or to redirect.

So as human beings we have momentum around our emotions. And we have momentum around our thoughts. So in other words if I start thinking thoughts that feel good then I’m going to build momentum around good feeling thoughts. And it’s going to get easier and easier. The first thought I think that feels good, if I’ve been in a state of feeling not good, then the first thought will be hardest one to think.

But if I can hold good thoughts and I keep thinking them, maybe it’s even just one thought, if I can hold it, meaning not reject it, not let it get pushed down with that’s not true, or not let it get overcome with negative thoughts. But just hold a positive thought; hold the space of believing that maybe this could be true. Something that just feels a little bit better, it doesn’t have to feel really great and amazing. It just has to feel a little bit more positive. I want to shift my momentum away from negativity into positivity.

And if I can hold that first thought for a little bit of time then I will start to build momentum. And then more thoughts can come and I can stay in that direction. And the second and third thought, holding those will be much easier. Staying in a good mood is much easier than getting in a good mood when you’ve been in a bad mood. Just like staying in a bad mood is much easier than getting in a good mood. Isn’t that crazy?

Because none of us want to feel bad, but sometimes the energy, and focus, and letting go of ego, and letting go of all kinds of things that’s required to shift from a bad mood to a good mood feels harder than just staying in a bad mood. And so we choose to stay negative, we build momentum in that direction.

One of the things I talk a lot about is this idea that we match one another emotionally. So I was talking about this today on a call in Be Bold. But if I, let’s say I’m in a really good mood and my husband comes home in a bad mood, if I now get grumpy that he’s grump and I’m really negative about the fact that he’s so negative, now I’ve just matched him or mirrored him. And I was thinking about this the other day, why is it that if my husband comes home in a bad mood I’m more likely to become grumpy that he’s grumpy than it is likely that he will become really in a good mood about my good mood.

And the reason for that, I don’t just mean him, me, I mean if any person is feeling negative and someone else is feeling positive, it’s much more likely that the positive person will go to the negative than the negative person go to the positive. Do you follow me?

And that is because negative emotions are much easier to build momentum around, they just are. I don’t know why, this is unfortunate. I wish I knew how to change this. But it seems to be the case that negative emotions, negative thoughts gain momentum very quickly, whereas positive ones seems to have a lower mass, if you will. And so the velocity doesn’t increase as quickly, it takes a lot more for us to gain momentum around positive emotions.

Here’s the good news. It’s something that you can practice. If you simply choose to think about let’s say the world right now in a more positive and yet believable to you way, you will gain some momentum. And if somebody comes along with momentum that’s stronger than yours then you simply have to become aware in order to not let their momentum knock yours out of the way. Am I making sense? Let me try to give some more concrete examples of this.

So I’m recording this podcast on January 8^th, you won’t hear it for about a week from today. But yesterday was the day that we saw people breaking into the White House and it was quite alarming what we saw. It looked like a scene from a Batman movie or something. At any rate, there’s a lot of emotions happening for people today.

So when I see that on the news and I saw those images on social media and things it offers me all kinds of thoughts. And then people on social media offer me thoughts and news anchors offer me thoughts. And there’s lots of thoughts available that we can think about this. So what I try to do is give myself space to feel whatever emotions I’m feeling. But I don’t let it build lots of momentum. If I’m feeling negative emotion, which I think most all of us feel negative emotion when we see something like that go on in our country.

But I allow space for them without letting them get tons of momentum; before they get too strong I stop and decide, okay, what do I want to think about all this? And I’ll tell you what I think. I think I want to keep the part where this is sort of heartbreaking and sad. But I also have a lot of other thoughts that I give lots of air time to in my head around our country. I believe things like there are a lot of good people in powerful positions in our country. There are a lot of good people who have a lot of influence. And our country was founded on good values. And we will endure in the end.

I even have thoughts like maybe we’re in a bit of a river of misery in our country where sometimes things have to get worse in order to make them better than they were before. I have thoughts like God is leading us, and this country is blessed by God. And he knows all and he’s in charge of all. So I give those thoughts more air time actually, that’s just me personally. I don’t know that you have to. Maybe you can give them equal air time.

But I give them more air time because I feel like those kind of positive, optimistic, hopeful, faith filled thoughts aren’t as easy to gain momentum around as the negative ones. Especially because there’s so many people that will validate the negativity and help you gain more momentum around it. It’s really, really easy to find people who will complain, and criticize and all of that. That’s not hard to do.

And I am certainly not without fault when it comes to doing that. But again before that gets too out of hand, before it becomes too difficult to stop because it has so much momentum I interrupt it with what else do I believe is true though? And sometimes you guys the best way to stop something from gaining tons of negative momentum is just to stop thinking about that subject at all. It’s to turn off the news and get off of social media and get away from all the stimulus of it.

If all that’s coming at you is fuelling your negative momentum then you might just have to redirect to another subject altogether. That’s okay to do. And I was thinking about this cliché that we say of burying your head in the sand. Because if the most important thing is that we all do what we can to feel good, to feel better, then I can hear some of you or some people saying, “So we should just bury our head in the sand, not pay attention to what’s going on?” And I’m not exactly sure how I want to answer that question still.

But I’ll tell you what I’ve been thinking about which is I mean is it really wrong to? I think it’s not us at our best in that when we bury our heads in the sand we’re not able to find where we can help be part of the solution. I don’t want to bury my head in the sand because I know that I live a privileged life. And there are people out there who don’t have the same privilege that I do who could benefit from my help.

So I don’t want to just bury my head in the sand in the terms of like let’s just be selfish and just make sure that we feel good and not worry about anyone else. That’s not what I’m saying at all. But when it comes to just taking in the dramatic stories that are out there sometimes, I kind of think that the sand might be better. I kind of think you know what, if it’s cool, and calm, and dark down there in the sand, maybe for a time you just bury your head in the sand. Maybe you just shut it off momentarily, maybe forever even.

So just be careful you guys about the thoughts, or clichés, or things that someone said one time long ago that’s stuck with you as really important, don’t be that person. You just want to be open to questioning all of it because if every single one of us did our part to feel better by thinking about the world, and ourselves, and other people, in more positive ways then our world would become a better place, it would.

And we have to do our part to feel better. We have to build momentum in the direction of positive emotions, positive thoughts, positive energy if we want to contribute in the world in the best way that we can. I really do believe that. Momentum is easier to see when it comes to our actions but it works the same with our thoughts and our feelings.

So in other words if I tell myself, “Hey, I really need to clean out that closet.” And I don’t want to clean out the closet, it feels so overwhelming, there’s so much stuff in there I don’t even know where to begin. And I don’t have any momentum yet around cleaning out that closet. The hardest part of cleaning out the closet will be sitting down and the first two minutes of it, just forcing myself to do it, just forcing myself to start to pick one thing and take it out and decide what to do with it. But once I get going, once I get halfway into cleaning out that closet now I have momentum on my side.

And if somebody comes along and tries to pull me off task I’m not going to want you, I’m going to say, “No, I’m working on this closet, I’ll talk to you when I’m done.” Because now my momentum is towards doing the thing instead of not doing the thing, and this is the same way it works with your thoughts and your feelings you guys.

The hardest step is just believing a little thought like it’s okay, I’m doing okay, I don’t need to be any better than I am. It’s okay that I’m a hot mess. It’s okay that I messed it all up yesterday. It’s okay that I wasn’t my best or that I haven’t been my best for the last five years. It’s okay that I’m totally insecure. It’s okay that I have whatever issues I have going on in my life, it’s totally all okay. I don’t need to be any better than I am.

I’m exactly in the right spot on my journey when it comes to my mental health, my emotional health, my physical health, my weight, my business, my parenting, whatever it is. That is the easiest first step that will get your momentum headed in the right direction of acceptance and empowerment.

So begin with something simple, something easy to believe that feels just a little bit better than what you’re feeling right now. And do you know what will happen? Momentum will come with you, it will, it just does. It’s just like a law of the universe. It’s how God created us. It’s how the spirit wants to help you too. You have to gain a little bit of momentum for yourself.

Alright you guys, we live in an amazing world. I still believe that. We live in a great country. And I know you guys live in different countries all over the world and I’m not familiar with all of them. But in the United States of America, we live in a great country. And this country just keeps getting better and this world just keeps getting better. And it will also continue to get worse in many ways. We will always have opposition in all things but we don’t need to panic, we really don’t.

You’re allowed to just feel good, it’s not irresponsible, it’s not ignoring reality. It’s in fact the more mature responsible thing to do, to choose to feel calm and peaceful.

Alright you guys, I love you. Thank you for being here. Do not forget to come to Better Than Happy Bootcamp because we’ve got to get all of us stronger to be able to face what’s to come. Alright, we can do this and we’re going to have a lot of fun. I will see you there. Take care.

Who is your life coach? If you don’t have one I would be so honored to be your coach. I created a virtual coaching program called Be Bold that I want to invite you to join me in. We can address challenges, we can work on goals, and we can do it in so many different ways.

We have group coaching, individual private coaching, and online chats along with hundreds of hours of courses and content that I’ve created just for you. When you’re ready to really take what you’re learning on the podcast to the 10x level, then come check out Be Bold at JodyMoore.com/membership.